Wednesday, August 11, 2010

College Lessons


Have you ever bribed your children?

Oh, don't act so shocked. We've all done it. Even you. Except we fool ourselves into thinking it's not a bribe at all, don't we? We call it "rewarding positive behavior." And it might be. Here's how you can tell: if you explain the reward to them before they've exhibited the behavior - it's a bribe.

And the older the kids get, well, the bribes pretty much always turn into the traditional: cash. Now a website called Ultrinsic will let your students bribe themselves. They can bet on their grades, and $20 will get you $100 if you ace the course. It's an online bribe. Of the good kind. Just like we used to do. (The site is only available at the moment for college-aged students.)

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THINGS COLLEGE TEACHES YOU

Quarters are like gold.

Peanut butter and jelly are necessities.

Furniture is over-rated.

Sleep is not.

You now understand why grocery stores carry so much junk food.

Two alarm clocks is often a good idea.

Food pyramid, schmood pyramid. Two meals a day is the new standard. And one of them includes Mountain Dew and Doritos.

You *can* wear clothes you hate if it means putting off laundry for another few days.

10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class.

Letters from home are priceless. Cash from home is better.

10-page papers used to be impossible to write. Now they're a godsend.


[selected from Net 153's Smile A Day]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: People who've been around for awhile may recall the word "gams" used to describe a woman's legs. ("Lookit the set'a gams on her!") The word originates with the Latin word for leg: gamba. That root word also influences this week's Word for Your Week: gambit. The Italians used the word "gambetto" to mean a tripping up of someone, and the word was applied to the game of chess in the late sixteenth century, to describe an opening move. Now the word gambit could also refer to any type of maneuver used to secure an advantage.

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