Monday, February 28, 2011

More Signs You're Getting Old


Next year February will have a tomorrow.

Which reminds me of a couple goofy calendar quirks. Apparently, coming up this July, there will be five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays. If the world survives and the Lord hasn't returned by then, you'll see that again in 823 years. So yeah, kind of rare.

And Veteran's Day this year may be kind of special. The date will be 11-11-11. Be sure you commemorate it at 11:11 a.m.

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MORE SIGNS YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD

You've stopped giving money to your children and now give money to your parents.

You've found yourself comparing today's weather against weather in previous years.

You have no trouble remembering your children's names, just which ones are which.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You start to make fun of the geeky people who wear Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks, until you realize that's what you put on this morning.

If you hear "Stairway to Heaven" on Muzak one more time, you think your head will explode.

You lift weights, but the only things getting more defined are the veins on the back of your hands and your neck.


[as seen in Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: March is right up my alley, celebrating International Mirth Month, and so much more. It's Music In Our Schools Month, and it's National Craft Month. Get lots of ideas here. March is also National Nutrition Month, and it's Women's History Month. And tomorrow, in 1961, the Peace Corps were born. If you boss somebody around, you should know that Friday is Employee Appreciation Day, and on Saturday, the 1,150-mile dog sled race known as the Iditarod begins.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Friday, February 25, 2011

Common Hollywood Cliches


Whether we indulge in the viewing of them or not, Hollywood - and its products - have a huge impact on our society. Today's joke and website recognize that.

Of course, one of the benefits of periodically enjoying the output of Hollywood is the feeling of superiority it gives to us.

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COMMON HOLLYWOOD CLICHÉS

Aliens - No matter where they came from, their entire planet has learned how to live in peace and they have but one culture, one language, one style of clothing, etc.

Baths - Bubbles hide everything and never dissipate.

Bars - Troubled men gulp their drinks in one shot and immediately ask for another.

Bombs - Every single bomb has a digital display showing exactly when it will go off.

Cars - No one ever locks their car upon exiting it.

Car Chases - No matter where you are, there will be a Korean grocer with his vegetables out on the sidewalk for display in easily smashable wooden crates.

Dinner - Just met? Chinese takeout. Romantic dinner by candlelight? The other person never shows up. Family meal? Someone will get upset after a few bites and storm away from the table.

Fights - If you're supposed to win in the end, you will lose the first round. Every time.

Health - Have a cough? You'll be dead or declared terminal by the end of the reel.

Locks - All doors can be opened or lock-picked with a credit card or hairpin.

Radio/TV - Everything you need to know is heard or seen within moments of turning the set on. You then immediately turn it back off.

Schools - The bell always ring in the middle of the teacher's sentence.

Soldiers - If a soldier shows a buddy a picture of his small-town sweetheart, he will die soon. If a soldier talks about his dream vacation, he will die soon. If a soldier talks about what he wants to do when he gets out of the service, he will---well, you get the idea.

Technology - From any computer or smartphone, you can access the files of the villain's corporation. All video screens, no matter the size or model, will show a crystal clear 3-D reproduction of the image. Every single person knows how to type very quickly.

Weather - The weather serves only to emphasize the plot. Things going badly? Rain. Things going well? Sunny and warm. Occasionally the weather *is* the plot.



[selected from caryn.com, with my thanks and respect]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: Sunday is the 83rd anniversary of the Oscars, Hollywood's highest award for excellence in cinema. This year it promises to be more "interactive" than ever, and there's a play-along game at http://oscar.go.com/. So which movie do you pick for the Oscar? I've only seen four of the ten nominated.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Children's Talk


Busy, busy, busy, my friends. Just the joke today.

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Coffee was always served at a our church after the service. One day, during children's time, our pastor asked a young one if he knew why we had Coffee Hour.

Without hesitating, the young man replied, "Oh, yes. To wake people up after the sermon!"


[Richard Blake, in Christian Reader, via Your Weekly Church Laughs]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping." (Mark 13:36)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tired Soap

Just finished an episode of "NCIS" we had recorded on the DVR. Ah, that Jethro.

Here's a handy little site from TV Guide: a list of just the *new* episodes that are being aired each night.

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SIGNS YOUR SOAP OPERA IS WORN OUT

The evil twin was fine. You were okay with the evil triplet. But when the evil quadruplet came to town, the well felt pretty dry.

After the adulterous marriage, the stalker, a false pregnancy, kidnapping, pet-napping, blackmail, and the cancer scare, the best the writers can come up with now is a nasty cavity and bad hair.

How many times can a villain have his head sewn back on and come back to life?

You can hear the cameraman mutter, on air, "Seriously?"

Number of sands in the hourglass down to single digits.



[selected from Chris White's Top Five on TV]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: If you're "cautiously optimistic," that means you are looking forward to good results, but yet you have doubts about it. The good people at Word Spy say that means you are being "skeptimistic." (A combination of skeptical and optimistic.)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Embarrassing Story


Being a diabetic, I normally have iced tea or water with my meals, occasionally a diet soda or a diet fruit juice. Now, however, new studies brought to light by Reader's Digest say that even that diet soda may be bad for you.

And, what's worse, now they are even saying that the caramel coloring used in cola causes cancer.

Water. Still God's Best Invention.

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Tired of waiting for their overdue baby to arrive, my very pregnant daughter and her husband decided to take in a movie one night.

My daughter went inside to find seats while my son-in-law bought popcorn and drinks at the concession stand.

While paying for his tall glass of soda, my son-in-law accidentally knocked it over, spilling it everywhere. A couple of clerks hurried to mop it up and wipe down the counter, while another refilled the cup and my son-in-law headed off to his theater, thoroughly rattled.

Once inside, he was dramatically describing his embarrassing episode to my daughter, when one of his expressive hand gestures knocked the bucket of popcorn out of her hand, spilling it all over the floor. He hung his head, picked up the bucket, and sheepishly headed back to the lobby.

When he was gone, the woman sitting behind my daughter leaned forward and said, "You're not going to let him hold the baby, are you?"


[The Good Clean Funnies List via Randy Walker's Humor]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Children of a culture born in a water-rich environment, we have never really learned how important water is to us. We understand it, but we do not respect it." (William Ashworth)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Monday, February 21, 2011

Brief President


President's Day, 2011; the day we celebrate and remember the births of George Washington, our country's first president, and Abraham Lincoln, perhaps our country's greatest president.

You can see all the presidents and take your time to learn more about them at the White House.

My thanks to Kim Komando for the link.

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The story is told by the wife of President Calvin Coolidge - and it is, apparently, a true story - of a dinner party attended by the Coolidges.

A young woman sat next to the President, who had become quite well known for his "frugality with words," and said to him, "I have a bet with a friend that I can get at least three words of conversation from you."

Coolidge turned to the young woman and said, "You lose."


[Good Clean Funnies List (and several other humor resources), verified on website referenced in red there in body of joke]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: Perhaps in recognition of Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, February is From Africa to Virginia Month. In recognition of February, it is also National Care About Your Indoor Air Month. And, lest we forget, it's National Pet Dental Care Month (remember, only floss the ones you want to keep!). It's National Engineers Week, and it's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Tomorrow is World Thinking Day, sponsored by the Girl Scouts, Wednesday is the anniversary of raising the flag on Iwo Jima, Thursday - as part of a week listed above - is Introduce A Girl to Engineering Day, and on Saturday we have International Sword Swallowers Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Friday, February 18, 2011

Name Quiz


Well, yesterday was my first official "Skip Day." The extra sleep was wonderful!

But now onto our challenging quiz of the day, thanks to Mental Floss. I'll start with an easy one.

No peeking!

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CAN YOU COME UP WITH THE *REAL* NAMES GIVEN TO THESE CHARACTERS?

1. Barbie
2. Captain Crunch
3. Sesame Street's Snuffleupagus
4. Peppermint Patty
5. Mr. Clean
6. Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly
7. The Michelin Man
8. The Skipper on Gilligan's Island
9. Shaggy from Scooby Doo
10. The Pillsbury Dough Boy (bonus points for naming his wife)
11. Mr. T
12. B.A. Baracus (played by Mr. T)
13. MacGyver
14. ALF
15. The Professor on Gilligan's Island
16. Bull on Night Court
17. Granny Clampett of The Beverly Hillbillies
18. Columbo
19. (non-fiction category) Bono
20. (ditto) The Edge

I was tempted to provide the answers on Monday, but here you go:

1. Barbara Millicent Roberts (Ken's last name is Carson)
2. Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch
3. Aloysius Snuffleupagus
4. Patricia Reichardt
5. Veritably Clean
6. Milburn Pennybags
7. Bibendum
8. Jonas Grumby
9. Norville Rogers
10. Poppin' Fresh (his wife is Poppie Fresh; his children are Popper and Bun Bun)
11. Laurence Tureaud
12. In the show, it was said to stand for "Bad Attitude," but it was really Bosco Albert Baracus
13. Angus MacGyver
14. Gordon Shumway
15. Roy Hinkley
16. Aristotle Nostradamus Shannon
17. Daisy Moses
18. Frank Columbo
19. Paul David Hewson
20. David Howell Evans


[selected from the Mental Floss blog and comments here; please let me know if that link gives you any trouble]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: As much as I don't like to admit it, I'm starting to get a little long in the tusk, though I'll always try to never act like it. If you find yourself paddling beside me in the same metaphorical boat, have a look at http://www.giftcardgranny.com/blog/senior-discounts/, where "Granny" lists over 130 restaurants, hotels, airlines, and other establishments. And hey, if you're too young to take advantage, forward the link (and a suggestion they subscribe to the Musings) to someone who is.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Potato Recipe


The history of Mr. Potato Head.

'Nuff said.

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Every morning during our coffee break, we listened to the culinary challenges (and disasters) from one of our newlywed colleagues. We usually tried to share helpful hints and tips from our own recipes.

One day she actually broke down crying, explaining that sweet potatoes were her husband's favorite dish and she just couldn't get them right. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she sobbed, "but how do you make them orange?"


[Joe's Clean Laffs via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Ahhh, potatoes. Originally grown in South America (mostly Peru), where they were called batatas, they came to Europe when the invading Spaniards brought them back to their mother country. There are over 150 different varieties of potato, and the tuber - which is the edible part of the plant - has become a worldwide staple. The first potato to come to Europe - in the mid-1500s - was the sweet potato, now often called a yam, which is a derivation of a Western African word - nyami - which means "to eat."

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Food Fiction


You guys (and gals) are awesome. Your words of support and encouragement have been well received ... "a thing of beauty; a joy to behold." As list member Pierre L. put it - "one live comic is worth a thousand dead ones." Thanks again, folks.

Meanwhile, it seems that WiFi may be coming to the cereal boxes on your grocery store shelves. (Warning: a mild word of adult language on page.)

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IF SCIENCE FICTION CLASSICS WERE REALLY ABOUT FOOD

Jurassic Pork

Planet of the Crepes

Fahrenheit 451 (for 14-18 minutes)

The Marzipan Chronicles

2001: A Spice Oddysey

Dr. Rangelove - or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Lard

20,000 Legumes Under the Sea

The Thyme Machine


[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Food]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed." (George Rosenbaum)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine Groaners


Valentine's Day, 2011.

Today, on this "day of love" here in America, I'm announcing that I intend to show myself some love.

You see, for almost the past two years, I've held a position with the Postal Service that requires me to rise by 3:00 in the morning, and be on the clock - and usually on the road - by 4:30 a.m. I enjoy the work, but the difficulty I've encountered is that I can seldom seem to put myself to bed much before 10:30, 11:00 or even midnight. This has resulted, finally, in my diabetes slipping out of control, and a couple of other minor health issues related to this long term sleep deprivation.

Why do I stay up so late? Well, sometimes there are simply obligations, projects, or deadlines that must be met and accomplished. But frankly, most of the time it's because I made myself - and you - a promise to have something in your Inbox or posted on my blog every weekday. And that's a commitment I took (and take) very seriously. But now I find I must back off on that, at least a little bit.

Please hear me clearly: a daily "Musing" is still my goal, but it can no longer be my mandate.

So, going forward, if you find a day goes by without me, let's both be okay with that, knowing that your Inbox and the Internet is a little less cluttered, and I'm getting more sleep.

Happy Valentine's Day to every one of you. And even to me.

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What do squirrels give their loved ones on Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts.

Who sends hundreds of Valentine cards signed, "Guess Who"?
A divorce attorney.

What did one snake say to his sweetie on Valentine's Day?
"Gimme a hug and a hiss, baby."

You should always fall in love with a French pastry chef.
You'll get buttered up.

My mother's sister snuck off in the dead of night to marry her boyfriend. Which was rare. You don't see many antelopes in these parts.


[selected from guysports.com]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: It's Love A Mensch Week ("mensch" is Yiddish for a decent, honorable, honest man). And besides Valentine's Day, it's Ferris Wheel Day, Library Lovers Day, League of Women Voters Day, and World Marriage Day. Tomorrow is National Gum Drop Day, Saturday is Chocolate Mint Day, and Sunday is Clam Chowder Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Friday, February 11, 2011

No Hitters

As we head into the weekend, I have my eyes set on Monday.

Not only is it Valentine's Day - readers of this post should be well aware of that by now - but it's the first day pitchers and catchers can voluntarily report for Spring Training.

Hooo-ahhh!

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WAYS TO MAKE YOUR NO-HITTER STAND OUT

End each inning by cartwheeling to the dugout.

Throw nothing but change-ups and slow curves. Oh, wait. That's a "no-heater."

Throw actual goose eggs.

Give your fielders the ninth inning off.


[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Sports]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: Tomorrow - Saturday - my parents will celebrate 40 years of marriage. If you've got a milestone anniversary coming up, check out http://www.familyplanit.com/FP_Anniversary.htm. It's a website that lets you create your own website to celebrate that important date in your life.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Formal Attire


As I was looking for the "Word for Your Week" in yesterday's kicker, I stumbled across the "Top Ten Valentine's Day Words" over at Merriam-Webster. They even throw in a bit about where the word originated.

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I'm a medical technologist, which requires frequent handwashing. When you combine that with the dry weather conditions in winter, my skin becomes very dry.

To counteract this condition, one night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with a thick layer of hand lotion, then covered them with an old pair of white dress gloves.

As I sat reading a book in bed with those gloves on, my husband finished his shower and came into the room wearing only a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a dapper silk tie, and put it on.

"Whatever are you doing?" I asked.

"Well," he replied, "if you're going to bed so formal, so am I."


[Pastor Tim's Cybersalt Digest]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

A Kind Word


Let me introduce today's link with a personal story. Last August, we had our daughter's gall bladder removed, and it turned out to be the end of two years of stomach misery, illness, and her emotional depression (well, mostly; she is sixteen, after all).

As we spoke with the surgeon in his post-op consultation, he told us that if he'd performed this operation ten years ago, the AMA would have had him up on charges for conducting unnecessary surgery. But in the past decade, the gall bladders of America's youth have gone to h-e-double-hockey-sticks in a handbasket, due to our fast food use and diets of convenience. He said that now, removing the gall bladders of teenagers is fairly commonplace.

And that's just sad. Which is why the White House has gotten involved.

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One evening while I was complaining about my bad exercise habits and tight clothes, my four-year old daughter decided to pick up my spirits, as she often does.

This time she coined a new word for me. She said, "Oh no, Mommy, you look flabulous!"


[selected, with thanks, from Da Mousetracks]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: What the four-year old in the above story was trying to do was placate Mommy. Placate means to make someone less angry, less upset, less hostile, by doing something to make them feel happier. It comes from the same word - in a purer form, even - that gave us the word "please." It's from Latin and was originally "placere," which meant to please.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Interested Scientist


This winter it's been either freezing or snowing. Seems like the days warm up just enough to bring in another front.

Meanwhile, on the commercial front ... it's too late to get them for this Valentine's Day ... but not too late for next year.

That is, if you're a science buff and have a streak of whimsy in ya.

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HOW YOU KNOW A SCIENTIST IS INTERESTED IN YOU

Carries a photocopy of your genome, with many bits covered by a highlighting marker.

She names a star after you.

The acronym for his new grant proposal is your middle name.

"Yes, it was a very good date. And best of all, it can be repeated."


[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Science]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Science does not know its debt to imagination." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Monday, February 07, 2011

Your Monday Groaners


Valentine's Day is one week away, gentlemen and ladies. You have been warned.

I'm in the mood for a set of Monday groaners.

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YOUR MONDAY GROANERS

"I'm sorry, but I can't be your Valentine."
"Really? Why not?"
"Medical reasons. You make me sick."

Eskimos are God's frozen people.

Do-It-Yourselfers follow the path of least assistance.

"You're taking your girlfriend to an aviary for Valentine's Day?"
"Yeah, she's a cheep date."

I bought a scale custom built for dogs but when I got it home, it wouldn't work. Apparently it only weighs in dog pounds.

What did one earthquake say to the other?
"Hey, it's not my fault."

Love triangles are never recommended. They almost always turn into wreck-tangles.

"Doctor, I think I must have swallowed a pillow. I feel a little down in the mouth."


[JokeMaster]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: It's Beans Month (Dried or Fresh), but I notice they say nothing about ground. It's also Grapefruit Month. And African-American History Month; probably should have mentioned that last week. Tuesday is the anniversary of the Boy Scouts, Wednesday is National Stop Bullying Day (which has become a hot topic in high schools all over America), and Friday is White Shirt Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Friday, February 04, 2011

MLIA

I like today. Noon today, to be exact. Well, to be *really* exact, noon plus one second.

Why? Because at that moment, there is officially less winter ahead of us than there is behind us. At least according to the calendar. February 4 is the midpoint between December 21 and March 21.

Bring on Spring!

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MY LIFE IS (ABOVE) AVERAGE

Today I realize I have more in common with the little boy I baby sit than any of my friends. We both love Star Wars Lego sets, eat dinosaur nuggets religiously, wear a Snuggie on a regular basis, use the same plaque-fighting children's mouthwash, and enjoy periodic light saber battles. I am completely okay with this.

Today, my mom and I were in Target and while we were shopping, we got stuck behind an old lady who was walking really slowly in front of us. We ended up having to go around her, and as we did, my mom said, under her breath, "LOL." I asked her, and apparently she thinks LOL stands for "little old lady." That's a new one.

Today I noticed a small bug on my computer screen. Being too lazy to wave it away, I chased it with my cursor. To my surprise, it actually ran away from the little arrow. Can you guess what I did for the next ten minutes?

Today my English teacher was asking everyone what we were bringing to the party we're having next week. One cocky kid said, "I'll be bringing good looks." The teacher responded with, "Oh, you're bringing a friend?"

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text during chemistry. I put my phone back in my pocket after I sent the text. A few minutes later, a cell phone vibrated on my teacher's desk. He read it then looked at me and said, "Mike says that he'll see you at lunch." Confused, I shoved my hands in my pockets, but my phone wasn't there. Ninja teacher? I think so.

Today I found out that my parents taught me how to swim by dropping coins on the bottom of the pool and telling me it was treasure. Way to go, Mom and Dad.


[selected from mylifeisaverage.com]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: We are well past the end of last year, but Christianity Today has just come out with their Top Ten Redeeming Films of 2010 at http://bit.ly/hali0n. None of them are, in fact, what you would call typically "Christian" films, but all carry a positive message or storyline of redemption, and my guess is you've not seen them all, so add these to your Netflix queue.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Good Art, Bad News

Using the same technology as their Street View, Google has now done Fine Art. Featuring world famous art from museums all over the world.

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AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

An artist who had an exhibition on display at a local art museum asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings.

"Well," the owner began, "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that I did receive one inquiry about your work. The gentleman asked if the value of your paintings would go up once you had passed away."

"What did you tell him?" asked the artist.

"Well, I told him that the value of most every artist's work appreciates in value upon their passing."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything. He just took out his wallet and purchased 15 of your works on the spot. That's the good news."

"My, that's wonderful!" exclaims the artist. "What could the bad news be?"

"The gentleman said he was your doctor."


[with thanks to Mikey's Funnies]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "The fear of the Lord adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short." (Proverbs 10:27)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Groundhog Day


Hey, it's Groundhog Day. Word is Ol' Punxsutawney is calling for an early Spring. The rodent cannot, of course, predict the weather at all, but it's become an annual tradition and kind of a break from all this winter bleariness.

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REASONS TO CELEBRATE GROUNDHOG DAY

It's on almost every calendar.

Forecast is no less reliable than the National Weather Service.

As they used to say on the radio, "The Shadow Knows."

It's just fun to say, "Punxsutawney"!

In Michigan, Minnesota, and points north, either way we come out ahead!


[selected from Mikey's Funnies]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: From whence did the word blizzard come? It's actual origin is lost or never known by scholars ... but they have found that the earliest form of the word is from the 1700s, when a "blizz" meant a violent rainstorm. Davey Crockett used the word "blizzard" in the 1830s to describe the blast from a shotgun or an angry, violent verbal outburst. And many in Iowa claimed to have invented the word as the description for a snowstorm with high winds and low visibility, but that didn't happen until the 1870s.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Guard Patrol


The people who get paid to tell us what the weather will do next say we are due to receive between a foot to fifteen inches of snow over the next twenty-four hours. This, on top of the two inches that fell last night, should make my commute to work in the wee hours of Wednesday morning just terribly interesting.

But enough about me.

If you'll be snowed in Wednesday - or if you just like to play with the kids and grandkids - Reader's Digest has some indoor snow fun for you.

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Gale force winds, a snowstorm, and frigid temperatures had taken their toll. Snapped electrical wires were sparking and snapping on the snowdrifts all over town.

As a local policeman, I was assigned to the area around another downed wire to provide security for the site and keep the public safe.

It was just after midnight and about 20 degrees below zero when I arrived to relieve the patrolman who was currently on duty. He pointed out the thin line swinging furiously from the main junction box and then hastily beat it to the relative warmth of his patrol car. Pulling up my collar and reaffixing my earmuffs, I took up my position for the next few hours.

Finally, just after 5:30 in the morning, a utility truck arrived and a lineman hopped out. He climbed the utility pole and then descended a few minutes later, laughing.

"Well, officer," he explained, "I'm afraid you have successfully guarded a frozen kite string all night long!"


[Wit and Wisdom]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Weather is a great metaphor for life - sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and there's nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella." (Terri Guillemets)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.