Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Bad Furnace Guy

I arrived home from work yesterday to the smell of smoke in the house. Never a good thing.

Turns out our furnace had decided to go out. Way out. In fact, it went out so far it's not coming back. And that's really unfortunate timing, because it's tough to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day when your skin is slightly blue.

Ah well, there goes the summer vacation money.

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SIGNS YOU MIGHT HAVE CALLED THE WRONG FURNACE REPAIR GUY

He smells like smoke. And your his first stop of the day.

He uses a bright flashlight and a really big magnifying glass to try and re-light your furnace.

The instruction manual he leaves for the furnace he just installed only has two instructions:
1. Light furnace.
2. Run away.

He opens his toolbox and the only things you see are a roll of duct tape, some tinfoil, and a crucifix.

Estimates his bill with a set of YahtzeeTM dice.

You notice his furnace filters all say "Mr. Coffee" on them.

When the firemen arrive, they all say his name in unison.


[selected from a list written by Dave Tippett; circa 2006. Edits by Mark Raymond]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "The light is what guides you home, the warmth is what keeps you there." (Ellie Rodriguez)

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