RANDOM ACTS of THINKING
Part the Second
My lawyer told me that "ethics is just another name for nothing left to bill."
The beautiful thing about the two-party system is that it keeps 50% of the politicians out of office.
I need something to relieve stress. I asked my doctor to prescribe money.
My boss is able to see both sides of an issue. His side and the side that doesn't have a prayer.
If life is a game, just once I'd like to make the playoffs.
My wife is really into this "going green" stuff. She's started recycling arguments from earlier in our marriage.
I had a physical by one of those online doctors. He told me to turn my head and click.
It costs a lot to run a country. And it wouldn't really cost any less if we just let it walk.
I don't think my cell phone company is taking me seriously. The last time I called the voice menu said "this call may be recorded so we can play it back at company parties and have a really good laugh."
The other day my wife said she thought wrinkles add character to a person. Then she said she was going to live by this belief and stop ironing.
You know that weight I lost last summer? I think it picked up my trail, tracked me down, and ambushed me sometime this winter.
Calling a person the "runner-up" is just a polite way of saying you're the first loser.
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way you should place your bets.
I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight.
You've watched "Star Wars" too many times if, while trying to capture that elusive last Cheerio in the bowl of milk, you hear yourself mumble, "the Force is strong with this one..."
[hijacked, handled, hauled, hooked, humbled, and hog-tied from Chris White's Top Five, Better Half, Randy Glasbergen, Hallmark's Maxine, Bob Thave, Menards, Nest Heads, Real Life Adventures, Mikey's Funnies, Colorado Comments, and the head of Mark Raymond]
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Running a "mailbag" kind of post in my blog tomorrow, if anybody wants to stop by. If not, I'll see you on Monday.
Mark
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
WEB SITES of the WEEK: Microsoft's new "Worldwide Telescope" software at http://worldwidetelescope.org/ has been getting a lot of press lately. It's a free program you download that stitches together imagery from the Hubble Telescope as well as several earth-bound observatories to take you on a voyage through our solar system and beyond. It will only work with Windows XP and Vista, however, and it will take awhile to download if you use dialup. Another option would be to use Google's "Google Sky" platform at http://google.com/sky/. All you need for that is your web browser (Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, or Apple's Safari, for example). Both programs will give you absolutely stunning views of God's handiwork in outer space.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Mark's Musings is also sent via email each weekday and is a Habeas-certified spam free mailer. Subscribe, view past issues in the Archives, or help defray publishing costs at my web site. To contact Mark, click here. To make a joyful noise, always sing as if you were in the shower. You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. The credits are never void and never prohibited. Original material and commentary © 2008 by Mark Raymond. Even this silly paragraph. My personal mission statement is John 3:30. Further up and further in!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now." (African Proverb)
No comments:
Post a Comment