Tuesday, March 23, 2010


The last time I wrote about this, several of my readers - including a subscriber who runs his own prominent ezine list - unsubbed faster than you can say, "Do you smell that?"

So please know that I certainly don't mean to offend anyone and that I approach this subject with the utmost sensitivity and consideration. But the fact remains, as much as some of us find this topic distasteful, a byproduct of our nutritional lives is a buildup of gases, which must be released from our body at one end or the other.

Which brings us to Francis Bibbo, a science teacher who routinely wore a military chemical suit while hunting to keep those odors to himself and not alert any unsuspecting wildlife to his presence.

He then stumbled onto the idea that perhaps there were other uses for this garment technology, and proceeded to invent what he calls "The Better Marriage Blanket."

I will let Mr. Bibbo do the rest of the offending. But let me just say ... if this is a problem in your marriage, you've got bigger problems than this.


Politician and orator William Jennings Bryan tells the story of the day he proposed to his wife.

He went to the father of his prospective bride to ask for her hand in marriage. He was determined to impress the man by quoting Scripture. He chose Proverbs 18:22, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord."

Bryan quickly became unnerved, however, when the father quoted Scripture back to him: "So then, he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better." (1 Corinthians 7:38)

Ever the quick thinker and never at a loss for words, Bryan retorted, "Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore I believe Solomon to be the better judge of marriage."

He got his girl.

[Joe's Clean Laffs]


WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "If you made a list of of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, they would be much the same list." (Mignon McLaughlin, paraphrased)


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SusanB said...

Great Heavens to Betsy, you mean people would actually unsubscribe due to a mention of gas!?!? Heeheeheee, that gives me the giggles, I can't help it, it's not as though there's anyone out there who gets to take a "pass" on this bodily function. **giggle** Sorry, I just couldn't help that one. =) That's a really cool invention though. Could have used that when Hubby and I first got married! ;)

Mark said...

I suppose it's a solution to the classic "Dutch oven," eh?

Yes, apparently, some people believe that any mention of flatulence in a public forum marks you as an uncouth person and someone with whom not to be associated.

Soooo glad you're stickin' by me.

SusanB said...

Those people probably believe they were hatched from pickles, too. Haaaaaaahaahaahaahaaa!!!!! < =D
Ooooh nooo, please, no reminders of "Dutch ovens"!! heeheehaahaaa!!! (the tune of "Memories" from Barbara Streisand comes to mind...) :)