Monday Groaners

Well, judging from the e-mail I've received, I should have called last Friday's post "Mark's Moanings." Guess I complained a little too thoroughly. To those of you who sent words of encouragement, thank you. Bless you. To those of you who were born in February, my apologies. Please know that I hold no personal animosity toward that 28-day slice of our calendar. It's the *weather* in February - the weather in Michigan, at that - that I take issue with.

I think it must be because February borders so closely on Spring that when the temperatures start to rise a little, we get our hopes up, and then we get hit with another winter storm or two. It feels like climate betrayal. But again, if you have reason to love February, I applaud you and wish you all the best God has for you in that month.

Well. Moving on.

Since it's getting late and I'm having trouble finding an interesting link, let me just ask when was the last time you took a look at all the bonus content on my blog? Lots of video clips and all manner of other things that go bump in my brain.

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MONDAY GROANERS

You know why cowboys limp during cattle branding season? They have sore calves.

It was my first day at the seafood restaurant, but shortly after I got there, I had to leave: I'd pulled a mussel.

My wife thinks I'm addicted to staying out of banks. I have to agree; whenever I'm in one I go through withdrawal.

Did I tell you about the upholsterer who put chains on his tires? He called them slip covers.

"Why do you sing that song so often?"
"The melody haunts me."
"It should. You murder it every time you sing it."

When politicians get the flu, you can never tell which way they'll vote. Sometimes the eyes have it, sometimes the nose.

If you keep your head while everyone else is losing theirs, you'll be the tallest person in the room.

[selected from JokeMaster with extra strong groanifying by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: You'd probably never guess that the word asterisk has astronomical origins. It originates with the Greek word "asterikos," and literally means, "little star." The word "aster" is the star part. You can see where we got the prefix "astro." Using the (*) symbol to denote a footnote didn't happen along until the early 1600s, however.

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