Friday Fodder

Just a few random musings for a lazy Friday...

+++++

A weather haiku I dashed off just now:

Nature Doesn't Do Calendars
Nice having winter
Cold, wet, windy, snow, blowing
But isn't it Spring?

+++++

So the U.S. Navy has taken a giant step forward into the Star Trek future, and has installed a working laser - called LaWS, for Laser Weapons System - that has supposedly been 100% accurate in taking down attacking drones, because no matter how they fly, they're not faster than light.

Here's a video released by the Navy in the last day or so.



+++++

And here's a cute little animated GIF sent to me by former list member Dianne F. ... my daughter wonders if this cat is naturally talented or if there was training involved. Your thoughts?

+++++

Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Spending the weekend with my Dad. See you Monday!

Groundhog Day

Hey, it's Groundhog Day. Word is Ol' Punxsutawney is calling for an early Spring. The rodent cannot, of course, predict the weather at all, but it's become an annual tradition and kind of a break from all this winter bleariness.

+++

REASONS TO CELEBRATE GROUNDHOG DAY

It's on almost every calendar.

Forecast is no less reliable than the National Weather Service.

As they used to say on the radio, "The Shadow Knows."

It's just fun to say, "Punxsutawney"!

In Michigan, Minnesota, and points north, either way we come out ahead!

[selected from Mikey's Funnies]

+++

WORD for YOUR WEEK: From whence did the word blizzard come? It's actual origin is lost or never known by scholars ... but they have found that the earliest form of the word is from the 1700s, when a "blizz" meant a violent rainstorm. Davey Crockett used the word "blizzard" in the 1830s to describe the blast from a shotgun or an angry, violent verbal outburst. And many in Iowa claimed to have invented the word as the description for a snowstorm with high winds and low visibility, but that didn't happen until the 1870s.

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Peppermint

Hey, ho, another late night. Good thing I had a four-hour nap today!

Reader's Digest Online says that peppermint can do you a lot of good.

+++

So a small town rancher goes to his bank and applies for a loan. When asked why he needs the money, the rancher explains he would like to purchase a bull so that he can increase his stock of cows, which will increase his dairy output.

The banker agrees to lend the money, and in the true spirit of small town America, heads out to the ranch a week or two later, to look in on the bank's investment.

The rancher is despondent. "Dang bull is worthless. Just eats grass. Won't even *look* at the cows."

The banker suggests that perhaps a visit from the town's veterinarian might be in order, knowing that if the rancher does not increase his herd and dairy output, he may well end up defaulting on the loan.

Another week or two goes by, and again the banker stops at the ranch. This time the farmer is beaming from one ear to the other.

"That ol' bull has not only taken care of all my cows, a few days ago he jumped the fence and, umm, 'serviced' all of my neighbors cows, too!"

"Wow," says the banker. "What did the veterinarian do?"

"Just gave him a couple of pills," replied the rancher.

"Huh. Interesting. What kind of pills were they?" asked the banker.

"Dunno," the rancher retorts, "but they taste like peppermint."

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

+++

WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "You look at a herd of cattle and well, they all look the same. But they know. They all have an individual personality, and those personalities change from day to day. They can have their grumpy days and their happy days and their serene days. But it's unpredictable. You can't be off in outer space when you're dealing with animals." (Chris Cooper)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

The Skunk

Couple of blog-only updates this week as I am in the midst of creating my union paper, prepping for a band concert and migrating to a new PC at the same time. I am a multitasking champion.

While the folks at How Stuff Works took eight steps to get to it, they do tell you - should you ever find yourself in this situation - how to get the smell of skunk off of ya.

+++

Remember, the skunk is an animal of distinktion.

===

Did I tell you about the skunk who joined the Marines? It heard they were looking for a phew good men.

===

What did the judge say when a skunk wandered into the courtroom?

"Odor in the court!"

[sniffed out of Charlie's Chuckles, Ed's Laughter for a Saturday, and the Good Clean Funnies List]

+++

WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?" (2 Corinthians 2:15-16)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Funny Photo Filler

Well, I ran out of energy and I'm just about out of day, so please once again accept my apologies and enjoy this picture, which I found on Craized.


I think the dog on the right is simply being used as a toothpick.

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Two Surgeries

Found out yesterday that my son is once again participating in the "Movember" fundraising contest - where men grow mustaches for a month and raise money for prostate cancer research. That's him up in the corner.

Several of you were so generous in helping me raise money to feed the hungry. Here's another good cause. I'll be donating to this one, as well.

Even if you just visit the site and read up on the "mo"vement, I'll be thankful.

+++

My 72-year old uncle was in hospital for prostrate surgery. He was admitted at 6:00 a.m., the surgery was performed at 7:30 a.m., and we were amazed when the hospital discharged him by 4:00 p.m. and he was back in his own bed before supper.

Later that week, in one of those odd coincidences, we had to take his dog to the Veterinarian because Rex also needed prostate surgery. I asked the Vet what time I should pick Rex up.

I was told Rex would be staying overnight and I should come back around noon the next day.

"Overnight?" I asked. "His owner just had this same surgery and was home that same day."

The Vet looked at me and replied, "Yes, well, Rex isn't covered by an HMO."

[Joke of the Day via Charlie's Chuckles with a little editorial massage by Mark Raymond]

+++

WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Tigers in the Dark

Many Americans will receive the "gift" of an extra hour of sleep this weekend.

If you're in one of the States that observe Daylight Saving Time, remember to set the clocks back an hour before you go to bed Saturday night. You'll find the sun out a little bit earlier on, appropriately, Sunday.

+++

Many years ago a circus was broadcast live on television in front of a large audience, and one of the acts featured a lion tamer and a cage full of Bengal tigers.

The trainer entered the cage and locked the door behind him. The spotlights highlighted the cage and as the television cameras moved in closer, the audience watched in suspense. The trainer put the fierce cats through their paces, but in the middle of the performance, the unexpected happened: the power failed and the lights went out!

For twenty or thirty long seconds, the trainer was stranded, locked in with the tigers, knowing they could see him perfectly, but he could not see them at all. His whip and a small stool were all that stood between him and certain death.

But he survived, and when the lights came back on, he finished his performance to a standing ovation.

Later, in an interview, the trainer was asked how he felt knowing the tigers could see him but he was completely in the dark. He admitted that fear had sent a chill down his spine, but then he realized that the tigers didn't know he couldn't see them. "I just kept cracking my whip," he said, "and I kept talking to them until the lights came back on. And they never knew I couldn't see them."

The parallel to what occasionally happens in our own life is unmistakable. At some point, we are all fighting tigers in the dark, terrors we cannot see. But if we trust to what we know, just keep cracking our whip, and wait for the Light, all will be well.

[A Dose of Inspiration via Wit and Wisdom; slightly rewritten by Mark Raymond]

+++

WEBSITE of the WEEK: NASA says there are 818 asteroids larger than half-a-mile across in near Earth space. Though they are confident that none appear to be headed our way, there is now a website where you can check the data about what would happen if one did at http://www.purdue.edu/impactearth. You can fill in your own measurements, or use the drop down lists and take one of their suggestions.

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Moose Meat

Here's something that I can't see us being domestic enough to do, but I imagine many of you are.

You take one day each month, and make ALL your meals, for the *entire* month.

It's called OAMC. Once A Month Cooking.

+++

A butcher fresh out of his Canadian trade school applies for and receives a job at a meat processing business. His first task is to skin and cut up the wildlife kills of local hunters, chopping them into serving portions.

His very first job is to process a moose and package it for the freezer.

The job takes all day but he finally finishes up. He's got chops, flank steak, ribs, sirloin, etc. all bagged, marked and stored in the freezer. But after he finishes processing all the parts he knows, there's still a small pile of unidentifiable parts.

At a loss as to what to do with them, he bags them up for the freezer, also, and labels the bag:

Moosellaneous.

[Teddi's Humor via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

+++

WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "My favorite animal is steak." (Fran Lebowitz)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Jack Russell Jesse

Jesse is one smart Jack Russell terrier.

Reminds me of our old dog, Chelsey.





My favorite is the bit with the dishwasher.

Washed Dog

Well, the weather went from partly sunny to mostly cloudy and back again ... the temperature was a brisk 52 degrees ... and Bonnie and I walked the three miles with a friend in just about 45 minutes, so that was pretty good. (That's me to the left right before we started.) Thanks again to all who contributed to the cause!

At the end of our little jaunt, we were ... well, sweaty. Some of our clothes *definitely* needed to see the inside of a washer. Even in the cool weather.

The folks at Wallet Pop have put together a pretty good feature on detergents.

+++

A young lad of about eight was in the corner grocery one day, picking out a pretty good-sized box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked him if he had a lot of laundry to do and did he need any help with his selection?

"Oh, no," replied the boy, "I'm not doing laundry. I'm going to wash my dog."

"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," the grocer advised, pointing to the box the boy was holding. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he might get sick. In fact, it might even kill him!"

But the boy was not to be dissuaded and so he carried his big box of detergent to the checkout and paid for it.

About a week later the grocer saw the boy in the store again, this time buying some candy. He asked him how things had gone with his dog.

"Oh, he died," said the boy, sadly.

The grocer, remarked that he was very sorry the boy's dog had passed away, but that "I did try to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."

"Oh, I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."

"What was it, then?" asked the grocer.

"I think it was the spin cycle."

[Pastor Tim's Pearly Gates]

+++

WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: October, as you must know by now, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it's Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month, it's Church Library Month, it's Emotional Wellness Month, and it's Apple Month (among many others). It's Financial Planning Week, Customer Service Week, and World Space Week. Tomorrow is World Teacher's Day, Wednesday is Mad Hatter Day, and Friday is National Depression Screening Day.

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Insomnia

Update: I have been busy from get-up to lay-down this week with my national union convention in Detroit. Monday and yesterday I was only able to update this blog.

Hey, speaking of Detroit, if you live here, in New York City, Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Chicago, Denver, Columbus or Dayton, Ohio, Washington DC, Los Angeles or Indianapolis, your city is on the list of most bedbug-infested cities.

Better see Mama about that.

+++

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

Bob was having trouble sleeping at night. He'd tried everything: Over the counter sleeping pills, warm milk, counting sheep, watching old, boring movies on late night television, and every other old wives' tale and suggestion from friends.

Finally he went to his doctor, who prescribed a heavy dosage of extra-strength sleeping tablets.

Bob took the pills on Sunday night and awoke before he even heard the alarm, realizing he'd slept soundly. Elated, he dressed unhurriedly and took his time arriving at his office for work. When he walked in and saw his boss, he said, "I finally slept great last night! And I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning!"

"That's fine," his boss replied, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

[selected from apnea support.org]

+++

WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." (Proverbs 3:21-24)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptionsare free. ISSN 2154-9761.

It Made My Day (Again)

Let's revisit that "feel good" website, It Made My Day.

And, on a personal note, my daughter is having her gallbladder removed tomorrow morning. She's only 15 and already has gallstones, which are suspected to be the culprit behind her stomach pains for the past 18 months. It's a fairly quick surgery - we expect to have her home in bed by noonish tomorrow - and recovery is usually pretty swift, but we'd still sincerely appreciate your prayers and good thoughts tomorrow, about 7:30 a.m. EST.

That would make our day.

+++

IT MADE MY DAY

The other day my math teacher called a kid up to the front of the class to write out a problem and answer it on the chalkboard. He went up, answered it, then said, "Now I have a question for YOU." He wrote out the question on the board and my teacher, playing along, cheerfully yelled out the answer. Then the kid goes, "Hah! That was the first question on the homework you just handed out!" It made my day.

At the bus stop this morning, I opened my wallet to discover my two-year-old son had exchanged all of my money with Monopoly money. The bus driver laughed, and then charged me $5 in Monopoly money for the ride. It made my day!

I was telling my mom about how I got a "turkey" (three strikes in a row) while I was bowling the other night. She responded with, "Are you going to be able to fit it into your freezer?" It made my day.

We'd been painting our new house and accidentally left the lid off one of the paint cans, resulting in the paint drying up and becoming worthless. We left it out in the yard while we worked and one afternoon it disappeared. That evening there was a knock on our door and the neighbor's kid - five or six years old - said she had taken it but, "we didn't know it was all dried up so you can have it back and we'll find some different paint for the dog...." It made my day.

I am in the Army and currently stationed in South Korea. One Monday it was particularly rainy and dreary, so while walking to work I decided to have some fun and splashed through some puddles like I used to do when I was a little kid. A Captain stopped me and asked me what I was doing. "Letting my inner child out for a walk, SIR!" I replied. He laughed and said, "Carry on, soldier" then splashed through a few puddles himself as he laughed again and walked out of sight. It made my day!

Today my wife and I were singing along to the radio when our Great Dane, for some reason, barked loudly at her. My wife looked him in the eye and with a straight face, said, "You're a little off-key." It made my day.

I woke up this morning to my cat sleeping next to my head. I reached out to pet him and he started purring so I laid my head back down again to sleep some more. Suddenly he reached out his paw, still purring, and started petting my face. I had never had my cat pet me back before! It made my day!

[selected from the "It Made My Day" website; not all entries are family-friendly if you decide to visit]

+++

WEBSITE of the WEEK: At http://devotionalchristian.com/, you can find a whole bunch of different devotional material. The website collects them and, if you like, you can receive a weekly e-mail newsletter, as well. Their description reads, "Devotional Christian makes it easy to read your daily Bible devotional online by listing all the best free Christian devotionals on one page."

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Donkey Raffle

First of all, let me apologize. I seem to have fallen into the habit of getting these posts finished late in the evening instead of early in the morning, and some days - like today - I don't get anything out via e-mail at all. I'll get back on top of my publishing schedule one day, I promise. In the meantime, I appreciate your patience with me.

I have previously pointed you to the folks at Mint.com, a financial tracking and help site. Turns out they have a pretty good blog, too, and here's an excellent issue about several websites you should check before you make any kind of online purchase.

+++

ANOTHER OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

A friend bought some property in Texas and decided to buy a donkey as a family pet. He found one for sale from an old farmer for only $200 and promptly made the purchase. The farmer agreed to bring the donkey around in the morning.

The next day, however, as the farmer climbed out of his truck, he said, "I've got some bad news. Ol' Blue here was fine when we loaded him into the trailer, but somewhere between there and here, he passed away."

"I see," said my friend. "Well, give me my money back, then."

"Can't," replied the farmer. "Already spent it."

My friend thought furiously, then said, "All right, then. Just unload the donkey."

"What are you going to do with him?"

"I think I'm going to raffle him off."

"What?" exclaimed the farmer. "You can't do that! You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Watch me," my friend answered. "I'll be raffling off a donkey. If they ask me if it's dead or alive, I'll be honest about it, but otherwise ... well, they'll still be winning a donkey."

About a month later, the farmer ran across my friend in town and asked him how the raffle had turned out.

"Great," said my friend, pleased. "I sold 450 tickets at $2 each, and wound up making a $798 profit."

"Didn't anybody complain?" asked the farmer.

"Just the guy who won ... so I gave him back his $2."

[Net 153's Smile A Day]

+++

WORD for YOUR WEEK: Some would say my friend's raffle was a form of chicanery, which is a cheap kind of trickery, or deceit. The actual root of the word is not really known, but it can be traced back to France around 1600, when "chicaner" meant to make a fuss, or quibble about something and was most commonly used to describe delaying tactics used in the legal profession.

+++

Mark's Musings comes on an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Canary Contest

My friend, list member, and my wife's employer - yes, they're all the same person - has put me on to a social networking contest sponsored by Fast Company magazine, called The Influence Project. Click here to support my entry! (The site takes a minute to load, registration is free and you may not even have to register unless you want to enter. I would appreciate your passing on the link to a few friends ... perhaps the ones to whom you generally forward my post? Thanks!)

+++

Jim strolls into the paint section of his local hardware store. Bob is the assistant on the floor that day. "Can I help you?" Bob asks.

"Yes. I'd like a pint of canary-colored paint," replies Jim.

"Certainly," says Bob, fetching the small can. "Painting some trim?"

"Nope. I'm going to paint my parakeet."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"I want to enter him into a canary singing contest. He sings so sweetly, I'm sure he'd win!" Jim exclaims.

"Well, you can't do that," says Bob. "Besides the fact it's cheating, the chemicals in the paint will kill the poor bird."

"Nah, they won't," Jim replies.

"Listen, buddy, I'll bet you ten bucks your parakeet dies if you try to paint it."

"You're on!" says Jim as he pays for his paint and strides out of the store.

Two days later Jim returns, looking very sheepish, and puts a ten-dollar bill on the counter in front of Bob.

"So the paint killed your parakeet?" Bob inquires.

"Well, indirectly," replies Jim. "He seemed to handle the paint okay, but he didn't survive the sanding between coats."

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

+++

WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!" (Luke 12:24)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Road Trip

The electric car is a neat idea. Part of what makes them impractical for this country, however, are that many of us need to travel long distances and there aren't nearly enough recharging stations along the way. Yet.

But what if the road itself could provide enough energy? Scott Brusaw had a brainstorm ... what if we replaced America's asphalt with solar panels? His company calculates that the energy produced would be three times as much as the energy used to operate this infrastructure, providing enough to recharge your vehicle anywhere in the country. Another benefit is that the roads would be heated when necessary, making snowplowing unnecessary.

The Department of Transportation likes the idea so much they've given Scott a $100,000 grant, and you can read more about the idea in this month's Popular Science magazine.

+++

A TRUE ROAD TRIP STORY

When my family and I travel with Marilyn, our cat, we try to pick hotels that allow you to have a pet in your room. But one night on a recent road trip, we stayed out too late and the only hotel available had a policy that forbade animals.

Sneaking Marilyn past the front desk was not terribly difficult. However, the next morning, when my husband Murray packed Marilyn into the little duffle we used to carry her in, she began meowing.

On the crowded elevator down to the first floor, Murray would cough loudly to cover the sound of the cat. Everyone else on the elevator politely ignored the meows coming from the bag. When the elevator doors opened, Murray bravely marched out, praying the cat would shut up.

He needn't have worried. His fellow elevator passengers marched with him, coughing loudly all the way through the lobby and out the front door.

[Reader's Digest "Life in These United States"; contributed by C.E. Munro in The Daily Inbox via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

+++

WORD for YOUR WEEK: The Word Spy has spotted a word that captures what we recently did perfectly. I took a vacation from work, but we stayed home so it was a "staycation." That's not the word. We also planned to take a day to visit a favorite Michigan city. The Word Spy calls this a daycation, where you go away from home for the purpose of fun and relaxation, but you don't spend the night.

+++

Mark's Musings gasses up an RSS Feed, sojourns on a Facebook Note, glides into the Amazon Kindle and travels via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Surplus Chickens

Perusing an old issue of Nybble, I discovered that University of Delaware researchers were working on ways to store hydrogen fuel. Hydrogen is the most common element in our universe, and is three times more powerful than gasoline, while giving off just water residue when used, instead of nasty carbon monoxide. But to store enough of it to power a vehicle, you'd need either a 75-gallon liquid tank, or carbonized nanotubes that would cost several millions to roll them into the space of a 20-gallon tank.

Enter the poultry industry, with the nearly six billion pounds of waste chicken feathers they produce each year. The U of D people discovered that these chicken feathers - when heated to 700 degrees - turn into little carbonized nanotubes capable of storing hydrogen. Creating a storage tank for hydrogen using chicken feathers would only add about $200 to the cost of your car.

And you thought I was kidding.

What's more, those same researchers are now saying that chicken feathers can be used to help clean up the Gulf oil spill.

This news could positively revolutionize the way KFC goes about marketing itself.

+++

SIGNS YOUR COMMUNITY HAS TOO MANY CHICKENS

Lately you've found yourself walking on eggshells. Literally.

The "Which Came First" debate has paralyzed your city council for months.

*Everything* tastes like chicken.

At least once a week your local newspaper declares the sky is falling.

The local Weight Watchers group has a membership that is 90% coyotes.

The crosswalk signs now say "Walk," "Wait," and "Why?".

[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Pets]

+++

WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." (Psalm 91:2-4)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, Amazon's Kindle and e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free.

Horse Politics

Just the joke today.

+++

SIGNS THE GOVERNMENT IS NOW BEING RUN BY HORSES

Unbridled spending.

Campaign slogans always promise a more stable government.

Getting out of jury duty now involves at least a gross of sugar lumps.

Nothing ever accomplished at City Council meetings. The "Ayes" are always outnumbered by the neighs.

The first Saturday in May is declared a national holiday.

Whips have been outlawed.

City sidewalks have been replaced by soft, mulch-covered trails.

Shoe-throwing incidents can be downright lethal.

Lots more candidates running for mare.

"Break a leg" is now considered hate speech.

[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Pets]

+++

WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." (Psalm 20:7)

+++

This blog is available via RSS Feed, Facebook Note, Amazon Kindle, and e-mail each weekday. Let Mark's Musings hoof it into your Inbox by clicking here.

Helping Out

Well, apparently yesterday was National Pancake Day. I missed it. Whimsical blog writers from all over the country are demanding I turn in my credentials. I may have to retire in disgrace. They're saying I should be battered, then syruped and feathered, and then run out of town on a stick of butter.

Which, actually, sounds pretty good. Hmmm. I need to stop writing these things when I'm hungry.

So today, you need to go out of your way to do something nice for someone else.

Because it's Inconvenience Yourself Day.

And you thought I was kidding.

+++

The time came for our annual immunizations at our Air Force base overseas. To get us all vaccinated as quickly as possible, the base veterinary surgeon was pressed into duty to lend a helping hand. I received my injection from him, as a matter of fact.

"Wow," I said, when he was done. "You did that so gently, I hardly felt it."

"I have to be gentle," he replied. "My patients can bite."

[Humor in Uniform via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

+++

WONDER for YOUR WEEK: If an ambulance is dashing someone to the hospital and accidentally hits a pedestrian, does it stop to help?

+++

Mark's Musings is available on an RSS Feed, Facebook Note, Amazon Kindle, or via e-mail by clicking here. No inconvenience at all.

Snail Tales

You've heard the term "snail mail"?

Someone in England decided to take it seriously.

And you thought I was kidding.

+++

GROANERS

What does a snail say when it rides on the back of a turtle?
"Wheeeeee!"

===

What's spiral in shape and very crowded?
A snail with a houseguest.

===

Two postal carriers had just finished their routes for the day when one of them watched as the other turned and stepped on a snail.

"Why did you step on that snail, Tom?" asked the perplexed coworker.

"Well, I'm just sick of it. That darn snail's been following me around all day!"

[Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday, Charlie's Chuckles, Clean Humor Digest]

+++

WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion." (Numbers 14:18a)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via RSS Feed, Facebook Note, Amazon Kindle, or find me in your Inbox via e-mail each morning - eventually - by clicking here.

Special Day

ADMINISTRIVIA: Well, the good news is my blog has gotten popular enough that it's come to the attention of the spamming community. The bad news is this means I've had to add "word verification" to any comment(s) you want to leave, to prove you're a human and not a spambot. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I was beginning to spend too much time deleting all the spam, and it was only getting worse.

Meanwhile, here in the States it's Groundhog Day. Let's hear it for Punxsutawney Phil!

+++

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

Over breakfast one morning, Sally says to Steve, "I bet you don't know what day this is."

To Steve's credit, he looked like a deer caught in headlights only a moment before he indignantly exclaimed, "Of course I do," and he left for work, quickly.

That morning, a florist's van pulled up to their house and a dozen long-stemmed roses were delivered.

Shortly after lunch, another delivery brought a box of expensive chocolates and flavored mints.

In mid-afternoon, a third delivery van pulls up and drops off the expensive designer dress Sally had had her eye on, from her favorite boutique.

Just before her husband arrived home, she received a phone call, explaining that their dinner reservations for Chez Couteuse had been pushed to 7:15 p.m., regrettably. Sally was, however, surprised and thrilled, for she had always wanted to eat there.

Later that night, in the car on the way home after dinner, Sally sighed and said, "Steve, this is the *best* Groundhog's Day I've EVER had!"

To Steve's credit, the car only ran off the road a little bit.



[first seen in Charlie's Chuckles; edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

+++

WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "To shorten winter, borrow some money due in the Spring" (W.J. Vogel)

+++

Mark's Musings pops up on an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, Amazon's Kindle, and via e-mail each weekday. Click here and subscribe; you won't even have time to see your shadow.