Satchel

Leroy Robert Paige was born this week in 1906 or 1905, depending on which record you believe. Leroy and his neighborhood friend Wilber would go down to the train station when they were boys and carry bags for the passengers for tips. That's how he earned the nickname, "Satchel."

As baseball season reaches its halfway point with the All Star Midsummer Classic coming up on Tuesday, I thought this might be appropriate for today.

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THE WIT AND WISDOM OF SATCHEL PAIGE

"Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter."

"Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common."

"I don't generally like running. I believe in training by rising gently up and down from the bench."

"If a man can beat you, walk him."

"I never rush myself. See, they can't start the game without me."

"I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation."

"Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move."

"My pitching philosophy is simple -- keep the ball away from the bat."

On Cool Papa Bell: "One time he hit a line drive right past my ear. I turned around and saw the ball hit him as he was sliding into second."

On being elected to the Hall of Fame: "The only change is that baseball has turned Paige from a second class citizen to a second class immortal."

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching."

[with thanks to the Baseball Almanac]

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Remember that tomorrow is July 11. 7-11. And that means that Seven-Eleven convenience stores all across America will be handing out free Slurpees. Everyone who's not a diabetic go grab yourself one.

I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Get the "skinny" on your ZIP code - if you live in the States, anyway - at http://www.zipskinny.com/. Enter your ZIP on the first screen and on the next you'll find a wealth of demographic information about your part of town, culled from the 2000 U.S. Census. For example, in my town, 14% of the men here are about my age, and 63% of us are married. You can see the info displayed in charts, you can check out demographics about the schools your kids or grandkids attend, compare your ZIP to neighboring cities and neighborhoods and even see how close you are to the center of your ZIP.

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Mark's Musings is sent each weekday - pretty reliably - using Ezine Director and I pay a little extra every day to make sure those folks are certified by Habeas to be a safe sender of e-mail. I'm spam-free, tax-free, duty-free, and guilt-free. Subscribe, view past issues in my Archives, and otherwise pleasantly waste your time at my web site. If you need to change your e-mail address or you're all mused out and need to unsubscribe, use the "Change Subscription" or "Cancel Subscription" links at the very bottom of this page, but click with care, please. (The "cancel" click is final.) To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. I am way late for bed. It's almost ten o'clock! (Am I getting old, or what?) You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. The credits have never done anything to you. Original material and musings © 2009 by Mark Raymond. I update this blog with a copy of my post daily and occasionally with "bonus material" whenever the mood or muse strikes. Look for the label that says "bonus" and you can bring all that extra material up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. Find me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/baldmark/.

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "Attend to the details. Teach your children manners. Write cogent paragraphs. Drive carefully. And make good potato salad, one with some crunch, maybe accompanied by a fried drumstick with crackly skin - the humble potato and the stupid chicken, ennobled by diligent cooking - and is this not the meaning of our beautiful country, to take what is common and enable it to become beautiful?" (Garrison Keillor)

Happy Dog

A long time ago I learned the difference between happiness and joy. I'm sure I've shared this before but it's been awhile so let's refresh our memories about it. (And a tip o'the Mark's Musings cap to list member the Reverend Doctor James T. for first enlightening me on this subject.)

Happiness comes from the same root word that gave us "happenstance" and "circumstance" and originally had to do with luck. In other words, happiness depends entirely on what's going on around you. It's all exterior.

Joy, on the other hand, comes from within. It is a personal wellspring that each of us must find and nurture, with the help of the Holy Spirit, if so desired. While our happiness can be taken away by our circumstances, nothing can steal our joy.

Why this reminiscence? Because scientists now say that maybe happiness DOES come from within. They think it's a gene we carry.

Your thoughts, as always, are welcome.

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There is an old fable about a puppy that was vigorously chasing its tail. An old dog saw him and asked, "Why are you chasing your tail so?"

The puppy answered, "I have mastered philosophy. I have solved the problems of our universe, which no dog before me has solved correctly. I have learned that the best thing for a dog is contentment and happiness. I have further discovered that contentment lies within my tail. Therefore, I am chasing it; and when I catch it, I shall have happiness!"

The old dog just nodded his wrinkled head, then replied, "My son, I, too, have paid attention to the problems of our universe. In my own weak way, I have formed some opinions. Like you, I have judged that contentment and happiness are fine things for a dog and that, indeed, happiness lies within my tail. But I have also noticed that when I chase it, it keeps running from me; but when I simply go about my business, it follows after me."

[abridged from These Times via Wit and Wisdom]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)

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Movie Survey

Well, this has got to be one of the more helpful bits of Internet I've seen in awhile. It's just unfortunate they had to name it this way. Still, it makes its point.

Have you ever been in the middle of a movie at the cinema and suddenly felt the call of nature? What do you do? Do you hold it and try to enjoy the rest of the movie while you quietly feel your back teeth start floating? Or do you dash to the restroom and pray you haven't left in a really juicy spot of the flick?

Well, now you can visit RunPee, and they will tell you EXACTLY when to make that mad dash, and how much time you've got. Each white dot on the yellow timeline bar will tell you precisely when to go, and what you will miss while you're gone (they do scramble that part, though, so there's no plot spoilers unless you want them).

What I found most helpful was the very last white dot; click that and they will tell you if there's anything at the end of the movie worth staying through the credits to see. Unless you have just GOT to know the name of the head gaffer.

If you're one of those folks who own an iPhone, you can purchase an app to take with you on your phone.

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My mother was walking through the mall one day when a man with a clipboard approached her.

"Excuse me," he said, "would you mind answering a question for a quick survey?"

My mother agreed and he said, "Do you think there's too much sex and violence in the movies these days?"

"I'm not sure," my mother replied. "I'm usually too wrapped up in what's happening on the screen to notice what's going on around me."

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Do you think they can really turn garbage into fuel? I mean, I know they can turn it into books, movies, and TV shows, but fuel?

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Hugs

I know I don't hug my daughter enough. I need to get better at doing it. There's nothing like a warm, physical touch to affirm your love for someone. And I mean in a good way, of course. Not overdoing it or being sarcastic with it, or heaven forfend, being creepy about it.

But these kids, I think, may be taking things too far...?

I don't know. You tell me.

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My husband and I had made some huge changes in our lives.

He had been on a strict diet and exercise regimen and had recently lost 50 pounds. And after being a homemaker our entire marriage, I had just gotten a job in a local restaurant.

I returned home from work after my first morning shift and gave my husband a great big hug.

For some reason, he seemed to cling to me much longer than usual.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "Did you miss me that much?"

"No, not really," he replied, still holding me close, "but you smell so much like pancakes I just hate to let you go!"

[Clean Humor Digest]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "A hug is a smile with arms, a laugh with a stronger grip." (Terri Guillemets)

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Patriotic Twins

Well, I hope you had a happy Fourth of July celebration, filled with fun, family, and fireworks. We hit two out of three. We were with family in Indiana and the fireworks there were canceled due to an all day - and most of the night - steady rainfall.

Besides commemorating an historical milestone this past weekend, something else significant happened on July 4 this year. The crown on the Statue of Liberty was reopened to the public.

I don't remember who sent me this link, but there are some unique photographs and some juicy tidbits of information on the regal lady here.

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A very patriotic couple gave birth to identical twin girls one day, and as fate would have it, they were born on the Fourth of July. The father, inspired by his love for country and the happy day of their birth, wanted to name the girls Liberty and Justice. "You know, like in the Pledge of Allegiance," he explained.

His wife would hear nothing of it.

"Are you nuts? You can't have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice! First off, people will think they're 'for all'! What kind of reputation would that be? No, we're going to name them regular girl names, like Mary, or Jane."

Well, the argument went back and forth for about a month, when finally they decided that each one of them would name one of the girls. The father chose the name Liberty, and his wife picked the name Elizabeth for the other girl.

Time went on and the girls grew into beautiful young women. They did have a bit of a mischievous streak in them, however, and since they were so identical in appearance, they constantly played tricks on others who couldn't tell them apart.

As it happened, a young man met one of them and they began to date, but periodically one twin would trade places with the other and the boy couldn't tell the difference. And even though he was never sure which one he was with, he fell in love with both of them and wanted to marry one.

So one day he went to the father and explained his quandary. "I love both your daughters and I want to marry one of them, but honestly, I can't tell them apart, so I will leave the decision up to you. Give me Liberty or give me Beth."

[Just for Grins via Charlie's Chuckles; slightly retold by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Remember last week's word, "pandemic"? I'll pick a similar word for this week: panacea. This is also from a Greek word: panakeios. "Pan" meaning, again, "all" and "akos" meaning "cure." So a panacea is a cure for all, or a cure for everything.

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Altar Ego

I've made no secret of the fact that I've made my life's mission statement the words of John the Baptist found in the Book of John, Chapter Three, Verse Thirty: "He must become more, I must become less."

I try to remind myself of this as often as I can ... it's on my car's license plate, I put it on the end of every Friday's post, it's on my Facebook Profile (Info Tab), it's always hovering close by my thoughts, in a "What Would Jesus Do" kind of way, if you'll allow me that rapidly-becoming-tired cliché.

And yet, like Paul, I "do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15)

It seems to me that Christianity is a constant process of intentionally making the effort to become more like Christ. To constantly be at war with our flesh and what it desires. To deny our baser natures and seek after "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable." (Philippians 4:8)

So the war with myself goes on. I found this struggle captured almost perfectly by a Canadian woman named Carolyn Arends, on one of her earlier CDs titled "I Can Hear You." It's a song called "Altar of Ego" and there is not a word wasted in this lyric. Every one strikes the heart of the matter. At least with me.

ALTAR of EGO

I am talking too loud when there's so much I should be hearing
I am walking too proud when I know a fall is nearing
I am thinking too much for someone who knows so little
I am spinning so fast, I’m landing in the middle
Of this cold familiar place where I struggle to save face
And I lose all of the things that matter

Chorus
I don’t want to be here again
Bowed at the altar of ego
I’ve sacrificed most everything
Here at the altar of ego
The altar of ego

I’ve got just four friends I will let advise me
Me, myself, and I and the evil twin inside me
We talk each other up and we bring each other down
‘Cause there’s nothing we like more than the ever present sound
Of the voice inside my head, once again it’s led
To losing all the things that matter

(Repeat chorus)

I need a touch of love, I need a thrust of grace
A push, a shove, a slap in the face

I have gazed too long at the person in the mirror
As I turn away, I’m finding things are clearer
I will set my sights on Someone so much higher
Not on what I want, but on what I require
To travel to the place where at last I can embrace
All the things that really matter

(Repeat chorus)

© 1995 Sunday Shoes Music (ASCAP)

May your struggles be easier.

Crazy Parades

One month from today I have a week away from work to attend the national Postal Press Association Convention. I will be out of town. For that week I am going to engage in something I'm calling the "Great Blog Experiment" (GBE).

For that week - and perhaps for that week only - I will not be sending the Musings out via email. I will only be posting to this blog. You may want to bookmark this site. Why am I doing this? Well, I want to simplify my life a bit while I'm busy with the Convention and, frankly, I'd like to expose more of you to my bloggy goodness.

Ummm, that didn't sound like I thought it would. Conjures a mental image of the Pillsbury Dough Boy, doesn't it?

Meanwhile, you folks here in the States enjoy celebrating America's 233rd birthday this weekend.

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SIGNS YOUR FOURTH of JULY PARADE WAS PUT TOGETHER BY A CRAZY PERSON

For some reason, the arrival of Santa at the end of the parade didn't generate much excitement.

Instead of tossing candy, the firemen were told to use their water cannon. On random parade observers.

The first two marching bands were awesome. The 52-piece orchestra, not so much.

Throwing tee shirts and candy into the crowd works. Throwing giblets and gravy doesn't.

You've never seen a parade where the route doubled back on itself. It wasn't pretty.

All the floats had to be made from ice cream and soda. Traffic was stuck to the pavement for a week after.

The parade route leads into the mouth of the volcano.

Due to scheduling conflicts, it will be held on August 4.

Free samples of salmonella.

[Chris White's Top Five for Kids with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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We're headed off to the Indianapolis area this weekend, to celebrate the marriage and fulfillment-of-military service for our niece. She survived two tours in Iraq so that's something to celebrate, indeed. Back home late Sunday afternoon.

May your weekend be as full of fun and family, and I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Are you a little wishy-washy? Have trouble making decisions? Try visiting http://www.hunch.com/. There you'll answer 20 questions about your preferences and then you can use the search feature to zero in on a topic you're pondering ... the database will give you options to pick from based on what you've told it you like. It's the Web's version of a coin flip, only the coin is three- or four-sided.

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Mark's Musings is sent each weekday - pretty reliably - on an RSS Feed and also via e-mail using Ezine Director and I pay a little extra every day to make sure those folks are certified by Habeas to be a safe sender of e-mail. I'm spam-free, tax-free, duty-free, and guilt-free. Subscribe, view past issues in my Archives, and otherwise pleasantly waste your time at my web site. To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. This weekend remember one thing: after you light the fuse, run away! You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. The credits have never done anything to you. Original material and musings © 2009 by Mark Raymond. I update this blog with a copy of my post daily and occasionally with "bonus material" whenever the mood or muse strikes. Look for the label that says "bonus" and you can bring all that extra material up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. "He must increase, I must decrease."

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "There are many victories that are worse than a defeat." (George Elliott)

Conclusion Jumping

Remember "Mad" magazine?

Founded in 1952, this satirical humor magazine is still going strong and recently published its 500th issue. It's like The Simpsons, The Daily Show, and The Onion all rolled into one.

Along the way, it has contributed several iconic figures and strips and images into our societal consciousness. Like its mascot, Alfred E. Neuman. The Spy vs. Spy series. Cartoons in the margins. Don Martin's work. Every issue has a spoof of some television show or popular movie.

But what I'm sending you today is a link to some of the classic Al Jaffee "Fold-Ins" that used to grace the inside of the back cover each issue. Probably still do. Man, those were creative.

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Dick Innes shared this story in Executive Speechwriter some years ago:

"Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning as he was shaving the phone rang. His wife answered and called upstairs to him that someone from Sports Illustrated wanted to talk with him.

"Coach Morris was so excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine that he cut himself with his razor.

"Covered now with blood and shaving lather, he dashed down the stairs, only to trip halfway down and tumble the rest of the way down the steps. Finally, bleeding, bruised and out of breath, he got to the phone and breathlessly said, 'Hello?'

"The voice on the other end said, 'Is your name Speedy Morris?'

" 'Yes,' Speedy replied.

"The voice continued, 'Mr. Morris, I've called to offer you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated for just seventy-five cents an issue.' "

[courtesy of Wit and Wisdom]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." (Habakkuk 3:2)

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Bait

Welcome to the second half of 2009.

July is "National Read An Almanac" month.

So I would be remiss if I didn't point you in this direction.

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My husband Ed and our grandson, Eddy, were digging up a corner of my garden one fine Saturday morning, on the hunt for bait so they could go fishing.

Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy held it up proudly for his Grandpa to see.

"No, Eddy, that won't do," says Ed, "he's not an earthworm."

"He's not?" asked Eddy, eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"

[Smile A Day Humor]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Who does the editing on those TV fishing shows? How do they determine what's too boring to show?

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Fundraising

I have a hunch that every single one of my readers is a good person. More than 600 of you (small in comparison to other ezines, I know).

But as good people, I have an even stronger hunch that you support some really good causes and are involved on a personal level with church and community activities. Probably on a volunteer basis.

And *that* means, if your experience has been anything like ours, that you are involved with organizations that at one time or another need to raise funds.

If you're looking for some fresh ideas in this area, try Fundraiser Insight. On the surface it appears that they have a lot of the traditional fundraisers that most of us are familiar with ... but it also looks like they will cover most every aspect of fundraising out there. I don't know if I've seen a more thorough treatment of a subject.

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SIGNS FUNDRAISING HAS TAKEN OVER YOUR LIFE

On family vacations, you find yourself putting together "mystery bags" for auction filled with trinkets from the shops you visit.

You cut out the box top label on the cereal before you open the bag.

You had to purchase a separate stand-alone freezer for all the cookie dough you sell.

Your family has to play "Guess What Soup Is In This Can" because you couldn't wait to remove the labels.

You volunteer to take a shift at the bake sale ... in the NEXT TOWN OVER.

Other parents walking toward you suddenly change directions when they see the clipboard in your hand.

You have the state's raffle license office on speed dial.

Your kids come down to open their gifts on Christmas, only to find a bid sheet attached to each one.

[Jim Berigan on Top School Fundraisers.com]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "When we recognize that a better word for fundraising is 'friend raising,' we open limitless doors to creativity in support of our causes." (Sue Vineyard)

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Mark's Musings is available via RSS Feed and e-mail each weekday. Get your own subscription here with hardly any investment at all.