Mark at the Movies: After Earth

Plot:  The basic premise starts with the fact that we "ruined" the earth and humanity left the planet en masse 1,000 years ago and settled on a new world: Nova Prime. There we discovered that we were not alone; a new fearsome predator dubbed an "Ursa" was discovered. The beast is a huge, spidery thing with no eyes. It tracks its prey by smelling the pheromones given off by its terrified victim(s). Cypher Raige (Will Smith) has learned how to control his fear and thus become invisible to the creatures, a process that was called "ghosting." His prowess in helping humanity quell this menace has risen him to the rank of General in the Rangers and garnered him unprecedented respect and loyalty among the troops. But his dedication to this military effort has left him with a family that is distant and his relationship with his son, who is in training to become a Ranger as well, is growing cold. Recognizing this fact - with the help of his still-loving wife - he takes his son with him on one final training mission before his planned retirement. Their ship crash lands on ancient earth and breaks into two pieces. The only two survivors are the General and his son, Kitai Rage (Jaden Smith). Their distress beacon is damaged, but their hope is a working one will be found in the tail section, over 60 miles away from their current position. The General, however, sustained two badly broken legs in the crash and their only hope for survival lies in the ability of his son to travel to the tail section, then find and fire the distress beacon. His father cannot provide any physical aid, but as he strives to survive his injuries he can stay in contact with his son visually and digitally as he makes his way through the dangerous terrain. To add another layer of menace to an already perilous journey, the ship had carried an Ursa on it as part of the training mission, and not only did it survive the crash, it escaped into the wild.

Players: Look at the image above; note that Jaden Smith is the first face you see. That's because he is the actual star of the film, taking the lion's share of the screen time. Will Smith has a commanding presence in the movie as General Cypher Raige, but the story is of his son Kitai coming into his own. 90% of the movie features just these two players. Sophie Okonedo portrays the understanding-yet-firm wife and mother, Faia (pronounced Fie-ee-ah). Zoe Isabella Kravitz portrays Kitai's sister, Senshi, and carries a pivotal piece of the story with her role. All the other actors in the film have mere cameo roles to move the story along.

Performance: Jaden Smith has two previous "well-known" roles. The first was in The Pursuit of

Happyness and he again played his father's son. At that age, he was simply cute and precocious and not a lot of acting chops were expected from him. His next starring turn was in the remake of The Karate Kid and Jackie Chan was along to bear the weight of the dramatics. Smith was fine, but it was a role where not a great deal of range was expected. Here, the story relies almost solely on Jaden's maturing acting ability, and while he shines in spots, I was underwhelmed with his overall performance. The other performance to be taken into account here is that of M. Night Shyamalan (pronounced Shuh-yeah-mah-lahn), a director who has endured a meteoric rise (after The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable and Signs) and then a gigantic collapse after a string of critical and financial failures (The Village, Lady in the Water, The Happening, and especially The Last Airbender). Here he is directing one of the few films that he didn't write, though he does share co-writing credit. The story is Will Smith's, but the dialogue was mostly written by Gary Whitta. The film does not carry any of Shyamalan's twisty endings that change the nature of everything you've just seen but instead is told in a fairly straightforward manner. This is a welcome change and the film benefits from it.

Point: There are several layers and undertones at work here. The obvious message was the ecological one. We "ruined" the earth. The next message strongly present was the philosophical one, engendered by the film's catchphrase: "Danger is real. Fear is a choice." Early in the movie Will Smith explains this concept in some detail, including some very worthwhile words about the worthlessness of fear and it being all about what hasn't happened yet. All we can do is live in the moment. Finally, the film is centrally a coming-of-age story and repairing the relationship between father and son. I have read that some saw Will Smith's Scientology beliefs coming out, but I saw nothing of that. Perhaps I am too uneducated. As a believer in Christ and a follower of The Way, the message of choosing to set fear aside (because we know who holds the future) was strongly appealing to me.

Particulars: There is no swearing in this film, and no violence so graphic as to be off-putting. There are moments of gruesomeness, and a few surprises that illicit shivers of sympathetic tension, but they are balanced by the occasional tender moment. You do see a few bloodied crash victims, and several bodies are impaled by the Ursa, but there is no gore.

Raymond's Rating: I give this film two-and-a-half stars, and would mildly recommend it as a movie worth watching. Kitai is given a line at the end that is the flick's one comic moment, and it is a good one.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. This film's working title was "1,000 Years A.E."

It Caught My Eye

There's a brand new flavor in Lollipop Land and it rhymes with "dressed silk" ... I'll give you a minute.

Need more time? Go ahead, I'll wait.

Yes, if the picture didn't give you enough of a clue, there is now a breast milk lollipop on the market. Adds a whole new level of meaning to "sucker."

And you thought I was kidding.

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On a completely different note, and I'm not sure why this caught my eye, but it did: Thrivent Financial, the insurance arm of the Lutheran Church, is opening up its doors to sell insurance to all denominations now, after a 111-year policy of insuring only Lutherans. Another economic victim of waning church attendance in America.

But they are going to open their doors slowly. Thrivent President Brad Hewitt said it is more like "a 50-year, (than) a five-year plan."

They are starting with just friends and family members of their current Lutheran subscribers.

"Everybody find your Lutheran buddy! If you don't have one, get one!" (Oblique Toy Story reference.)

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And this just in - uh, two weeks ago - Japan has stopped buying U.S. wheat. Why? Because they fear that wheat genetically doctored by agriculture giant Monsanto may creep into the commercial supply.

Really?

These are people who still have rampant radiation running loose in parts of their country. If they're not going to buy our wheat, what does that say about how bad this Monsanto thing is getting?

Hmmmmm.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. So what catches your eye?

Mark at the Movies: Now You See Me

Back in the day during my film critique studies (in college), we were taught that the title of a movie is usually - though not always - indicative of a film's main theme, or is used to underscore the message of the movie. Here, with this picture, your mind immediately leaps to the rest of this phrase: "...now you don't." In fact, that is one of the key lines in an early scene.

What the title is trying to tell us, I believe, is that the movie's heart lies in misdirection --> what you don't see. And, indeed, that turns out to be the case.

Plot: Four magicians with diverse talents, working mostly in little known locales for whatever they can shake out from a crowd, are recruited to become "The Four Horsemen" by a mysterious benefactor and the next thing you know (a year later), they're playing Vegas. Turns out their public appearances come in three "acts" and the first is robbing a bank right there, live on stage (and in France, no less), with the help of an innocent audience member. The second act involves ripping off an insurance company (with an interesting twist), and the final performance includes stealing a huge safe loaded with cash. As soon as the first heist is performed, however, the FBI is called in (and even Interpol due to the French connection) and the group has also attracted the attention of a magic "debunker" and all three spend the remainder of the film chasing the quartet and being led a merry chase, indeed. About a third of the way through the film we are introduced to "The Eye," a secret cult of "true" magicians dedicated to taking from the rich and giving to the poor which is, in fact, what The Four Horsemen do in their first two acts. The movie is all about what happens next, and will they get away with it all, and why were they doing it in the first place?

Players: Jesse Eisenberg headlines the mostly well-known cast as lead magician J. Daniel Atlas and grinds through his scenes with a capital Smug. Mark Ruffalo plays the beleaguered and often dumbfounded FBI agent Dylan Rhodes, saddled with this no-win case. Woody Harrelson is mentalist Merritt McKinney who proves to be a skilled observationalist and owns a piercing stare. Isla Fisher portrays escape artist (and former stage aide to Atlas) Henley Reeves. The last of the quartet is Jack Wilder, acted by Dave Franco (the brother of James Franco). French actress Mélanie Laurent is re-introduced to American audiences (after her turn in "Inglorious Basterds") as Interpol detective Alma Dray and represents belief to Rhodes' skepticism. The always watchable Morgan Freeman is around to explain how some things were done as debunk artist Thaddeus Bradley, and Michael Caine is pretty much wasted here as insurance mogul and financier Arthur Tressler.

Performance: With so much plot ground to cover, the story must by default leave these characters' back stories practically untold, so it's difficult to work up much enthusiasm for anyone in the movie, except Ruffalo, who has the most screen time and always seems to come across as a sympathetic nice guy. The script does leave us with some questions that more or less cheat us of an honest ending, and sour the nature of a major character, but I can't fault the actors for this.

Point: There is no point to this movie. Nothing deep. No hidden meanings. Just a slick, captivating thrill ride with mostly unexpected twists throughout. The most honest line of dialogue is when Morgan Freeman utters, "When a magician says here's the magic (pointing with one hand), you can be sure the trick is actually being done elsewhere." Eisenberg utters several times throughout the film, "The closer you look, the less you'll see."

Particulars: I found nothing terribly objectionable here. There are no scary scenes, no bloody violence. It is rated PG-13 but I didn't even hear the one F-bomb these films are allowed, which was a relief. There were a few instances where God's name was added to "damn" that didn't need to happen, and "sh--" abounded throughout, of course. Early in the movie a young lady whips off her dress to reveal a pretty figure in lingerie and some mild innuendo follows, but nothing comes of it.

Raymond's Rating: Two stars. While the movie was impressive in its execution, there were too many characters, too much plot, and not enough meat in the story to sustain any kind of emotional connection to the film. I wonder how things would have played out had the revelation at the end of the film been delivered earlier, and if more reason had been given for Morgan Freeman's character to go through what he did at the end. After all was said and done, I found myself watching just to see what was going to happen next. Perhaps that's all I should expect from a summer flick.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Abracadabra.

Mark at the Movies - Star Trek 2: Into Darkness

Plot: A little girl is ill. A self-sacrificing act of sabotage is the price demanded for saving her and that kicks off what turns out to be a one-man war on Starfleet that leads the Enterprise and her crew into peril and a possible intergalactic war with the Klingons. But the film's main perpetrator will allow no obstacle to stand in his way of revenge, and Starfleet High Command is ready to welcome a war and between those two, Captain James Tiberius Kirk and the other characters we have come to know and love so well find themselves caught in the middle. The question comes down to "how do you protect Starfleet - even from itself?" The answer eventually becomes clear, but the body count is high and we are taken on an emotional roller coaster through the whole journey.

Players: All of the cast from the first film returns. Chris Pine is the young Jim Kirk, Zachary Quinto seems even more comfortable in the role of Spock, Karl Urban continues to chew up every scene he's in as the irascible Leonard McCoy, Simon Pegg is the ebullient Scotty, Zoe Saldana is Uhura, and both helmsmen: John Cho as Sulu and Anton Yelchin as Chekov are given more to do this film. Bruce Greenwood returns as Christopher Pike, and along for the ride on this trip are the much-discussed Benedict Cumberbatch - playing John Harrison, the villain of the piece - as well as Peter Weller in an important role, and Alice Eve, who provides insights at critical moments and takes on the job of being the film's "eye candy" for a few frames. There is a cameo from a special guest star, as well, but I won't give away that identity so as not to spoil your fun.

Performance: As I mentioned, it's an emotional roller coaster. The canon of the Star Trek universe is so familiar to so many that no time need be spent on each character's back story for us to understand the unique interplay of give and take, joke and jest, and point/counterpoint they immediately dive into with each other. It *is* an alternate timeline, so characters are allowed to deviate from the Star Trek norm. I was particularly impressed with the range Quinto explored within the narrow confines of Spock's Vulcan cold logic. Weller is comfortable in the role of a man wielding power and used to getting his own way. Urban is a delight to watch. Somewhere DeForest Kelley (the original McCoy) is smiling. Simon Pegg can no longer claim to play the only comedic relief in the cast, but his work as Scotty continues to be enjoyable, as well. And what can I say about Benedict Cumberbatch without giving away too much? He is not who he seems to be, and he effectively works both sides of the good and evil equation. He manages to walk that most delicate line of acting roles: he makes you feel for him while he's committing atrocities. While Chris Pine gets most of the screen time as Kirk, and his performance is spot-on and commendable, at the end of the film it was these other actors who stood out in my mind.

Point: What do you do to save your friends? What decisions do those in power have to make in order to propel a civilization forward? When do you ignore the rules to save those you care about? In the end, Star Trek Into Darkness reminds us of some important truths: do what's right, no matter what. Be loyal to those you love to the point of death and beyond. And even if you mess with the timeline, you'll eventually end up in the same place.

Particulars: Parents should be warned there is liberal use of the word that colloquially describes fecal matter. Scotty gets drunk (but really, don't we expect that of Scotty?). A human head is crushed off screen. Humanoids with entirely black eyes and painted faces are seen, which may prove to be a frightening image to small children.

Raymond's Rating: I am a self-professed "Trekkie," so take that into account when I say this was a fantastic film. My only quibble is with one scene involving a Tribble that ultimately telegraphs a key plot point later, and winds up taking much of the suspense of one of the film's most critical scenes away. It was the only unnecessary scene (as that plot point was set up in the very beginning of the film). Aside from that minor defect, I give this movie a full four stars. In the end, it's a brilliant retelling of a familiar story and well worth plunking down your dollars to see.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Boldy go.

Mark at the Movies: Iron Man 3

PLOT: "The Mandarin," a madman patterned after Middle East terrorist leaders, is out to destroy America and seems to have a personal vendetta against the U.S. President. Meanwhile, millionaire industrialist (genius, philanthropist, etc.) Tony Stark is having trouble settling into a stable relationship with his long-time assistant, Pepper Potts (who now runs Stark Industries), beset by nightmares about his New York experience with The Avengers and prone to panic/anxiety attacks. When one of The Mandarin's attacks injure Tony's friend and one-time chauffeur Happy Hogan (played by Iron Man 1 director Jon Favreau), that's the last straw for Stark's stress levels and Tony calls out the Mandarin - giving out his home address, no less - and the battle is joined, but there are wheels turning within wheels here, and not everything will turn out or turn up the way it first appears.

Players: Nearly everyone from the Iron Man story returns - Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, even a cameo from Shaun Toub, who was in the very first Iron Man movie. Noticeably absent is Scarlett Johansson. This film also features Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley, Rebecca Hall, the aforementioned Mr. Favreau, and everyone's favorite computer assistant, Jarvis, voiced by Paul Bettany and given a somewhat larger role and personality here.

Performance: In an action movie, you don't look for great range or depth of character, and don't expect that here. Downey is still the quintessential Tony Stark, Cheadle provides solid foundational support as sidekick and yet stands on his own as both a character and an actor, and Paltrow is both sympathetic and strong as straight-arrow Pepper Potts, who knows Tony's strengths and weaknesses, and juggles them appropriately. The villains in the movie are, by and large, portrayed effectively enough that the audience feels happy when they receive their comeuppance.

Point: When the movie was all said and done, I came away with the feeling that the message was about the mistakes we make, how they come back to haunt us, and how we eventually learn from them. Tony dares to take steps he's never taken before, and seems to finally be at peace with both himself and the world. Taken as a whole, this trilogy journey about the creation of Iron Man to the resolution of Tony Stark, simply Man, has been a good one. While you are left wondering how it will be possible by the end of the movie, we are assured that Tony Stark will return. And yes, stay all the way through the end credits.

Particulars: Other websites are better at this than I, but personally I found nothing really objectionable about the film, in terms of language, violence, sexuality, or morality. The woman in the row behind us at the theater used worse language every time something unexpected happened on the screen.

Raymond's Rating: It's not four star material, but I would give it a solid three stars for entertainment. My acid test for movies is "did I or did I not feel the need to look at my watch?" With Iron Man 3, I didn't even think about the time until the end credits were rolling and my bladder was nagging at me. If this was 2013's first summer "blockbuster," it's going to be a good summer.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761.

Happy Birthday, Internet!

The World Wide Web turned 20 yesterday. One more year and it can go buy itself a congratulatory adult beverage.

It was opened up for public use on April 30, 1993. The news story on this - thanks to Kim Komando - is here. The concept of the WWW was conceived by British physicist Tim Berners-Lee (not Al Gore!) in 1989 but took four years for the restrictions to be lifted and public access granted.

And look how it has changed our lives. My, my, my. 20 years ago I was the father of a 6-year old boy, I was mourning the recent passing of my hair, and I was celebrating my tenth anniversary with the U.S. Postal Service. I was using Apple IIe computers at work, and had a first generation Apple IIc at home. (Eventually I switched to the PC platform for productivity and available software reasons. Sorry, Steve Jobs and Apple wonks everywhere.)

Now, I find that probably 80% of my communications are over e-mail, much of my social interaction is done on Facebook, and my Smartphone keeps me in touch with news and friends no matter where I am. All because of the Internet.

Yes, I still talk to people in real life. On the phone, at church, in restaurants, and I meet with friends on a face-to-face level frequently. No worries about becoming an online hermit here. But this anniversary puts me in mind of a mental exercise I like to go through every now and then.

We all have heard the things our parents have said to us:

• "In my day, we had to get up, walk six feet, and change the channel by hand."

• "When I was your age, when we got home, we had to get out of the car - no matter what the weather was doing - and lift the garage door by hand."

• "When we first had a telephone, if someone called and no one was home, we didn't know about it!"

Stuff like that.

So the mental exercise is wondering about the things we'll be saying to our own grandkids. I imagine we'll eventually hear ourselves say...

• "When I was your age, we could turn the computer off."

• "Used to be you needed a key to get into a car and turn it on...."

• "I remember when the computer sat on top of your desk, not the top of your glasses."

And what's even more fun is trying to imagine what our children will say to their children.

• "When I was your age, we actually had to go visit the doctor in his office to find out what was wrong with us!"

• "Google used to just be a big company, not a country."

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Here's a grin, courtesy of Dilbert:

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Heh. What do you imagine you - and your children - will be hearing yourself say in the future?

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. "I remember when people used to do this online diary kind of thing. We called it a 'blog'."

Friday Fodder

A few odds and ends here at the end of the week.

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Spring seems to have finally come to us here in Michigan. I know because yesterday we had our first tornado watch of the season.

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Long time readers will know that I am a fan of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series of books. In that world, posits Adams, the Earth is merely a supercomputer built by a super-intelligent race of beings to come up with the question to the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Well now, apparently, certain physicists are going to see if there's any truth to that fictional hypothesis.

And you thought I was kidding.

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Have you been to Disney World and gone into one of their theaters where you get to experience *more* than just 3-D? Where the seats move, things tickle the back of your legs, a breeze blows across your face ... all in conjunction with what's happening on screen?

They are now calling that "4DX." At least in Japan. And that's where they will test it out on none other than the upcoming Iron Man 3 release. PC Magazine has the story here.

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Finally, a link that I'm sure will not work in a month, possibly even next week ... but here's breaking news on the Boston Marathon bombing brought to you by CNN and Yahoo.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761.

Where Does Your E-Mail Go When You Die?

Many of us have something known as a "Last Will and Testament." This is a document that describes, rather in detail, what we would like to have done with our worldly goods and other possessions when we shuffle off this mortal coil.

But what happens to our digital possessions? What happens to your e-mail when you die?

The answer is nothing. It just sits there, taking up digital space on an Internet server. The same thing for your Facebook account, Twitter, LinkedIn, GooglePlus+, Pinterest, Tumblr, Flickr, LiveJournal, or any of a hundred other websites and social media networks where you might have an account residing.

Google - as they do with many things - is attempting to get ahead of the curve by introducing a concept they call an Inactive Account Manager, which sets up a series of actions for them to take if your Google account goes silent for a specified number of months. These actions include simply deleting your data, or shipping it off to a contact you have named. You can read more about it here.

Let me go on record right now as being an advocate of this. It is conceivable that, at some point (undoubtedly far in the distant future), there will be more inactive data on the Web than active users. I am not tech-savvy enough to say if this will clog or impede the use of the Internet, but why take the chance? I recommend that all my readers include instructions - and passwords - in their wills that will allow your estate to delete or properly archive your data on personal hard drives once you are deceased.

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Theologically Incorrect...

Three men who seldom went to church passed away in the same vehicle accident and stand before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"I will allow you through these gates," Saint Peter says, "if you can tell me one simple thing, that all men should know by now."

The three men looked hopeful.

"Tell me about Easter."

The first man steps up and says, "I think I know. That's the holiday the whole family gathers together to watch football and eat turkey."

Saint Peter says, "Umm, no," and the man disappears in a puff of smoke and brimstone.

The second man, looking a little rattled, says, "Isn't that the holiday where the whole family gathers and we give each other gifts and decorate a dead tree?"

Saint Peter sighs heavily and sadly says, "Wrong," and the second man is gone in a puff.

Saint Peter turns to the third man, who looks confident, and asks, "What can you tell me about Easter?"

The third man smiles and says, "From what I remember, that's the holiday that usually occurs in early Spring and is the culmination of Holy Week, after Christ's crucifixion. He is buried and placed in a cave and a large rock is rolled across the front of it. Three days later, the rock is rolled away by angels and Jesus emerges..."

Saint Peter smiles. Then the man says, "...and if he sees his shadow, it means six more weeks of winter."

Puff.

--near-death.com

Edited

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. There are never any endings, only beginnings in disguise.

Friday Fodder

Just a few random musings for a lazy Friday...

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A weather haiku I dashed off just now:

Nature Doesn't Do Calendars
Nice having winter
Cold, wet, windy, snow, blowing
But isn't it Spring?

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So the U.S. Navy has taken a giant step forward into the Star Trek future, and has installed a working laser - called LaWS, for Laser Weapons System - that has supposedly been 100% accurate in taking down attacking drones, because no matter how they fly, they're not faster than light.

Here's a video released by the Navy in the last day or so.



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And here's a cute little animated GIF sent to me by former list member Dianne F. ... my daughter wonders if this cat is naturally talented or if there was training involved. Your thoughts?

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Spending the weekend with my Dad. See you Monday!

Onyms

The Greek word for "name" is onyma. This gives us the back end for several word descriptions:

Antonym: a word that is the opposite of another word. For example, "bad" and "good" are antonyms of each other. (The front end comes from "anti," which is against or opposite.)

Homonym: words that sound the same but have different meanings. For instance, "him" and "hymn." One is a person, the other a song. The front end here is from the Greek "homo," which means same and is used in words like "homosexual" and "homogenized."

I've recently been introduced to words that are, thanks to English usage, contronyms, though sometimes that word is spelled "contranym." The front end of the word is, again from the Greek, something that means against, (like "anti") but with the inference of being compared to something else. Contronyms are words also referred to as auto-antonyms.

What they are, in plain language, are words that can have opposite meanings, all by themselves, depending on use and context. They don't depend upon having to have another word like the two examples at the top of the post. Generally, it depends on whether or not the word is being used as a noun or a verb.

You know what? Mental Floss can probably explain it better than I can. They have a short list with further details here.

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Funny Thoughts

It cost me 75 cents to put air in my tires the other day. I remember when it was free. I asked the gas station guy why the price had gone up. He replied, "Inflation."

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
Abominable. (Say it slowly to yourself.)

I bet the butcher at my grocery store $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf behind him.
He looked and said, "No bet. The steaks are too high."

Did you hear about the numbering snafu on the spaces at the new multi-level parking garage?
It was just wrong on so many levels.

Never hit a man with glasses. It's usually better to use a blunt object.

Oldie but a goodie: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Well, anybody can roast beef....

Do attorneys have to wear law suits to court?

--Laugh Factory

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761.

R.I.P., Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert, the very first film critic to win a Pulitzer Prize, passed away yesterday. He had announced on Tuesday that he was taking a "leave of presence" as they had discovered his cancer had returned and he was going to undergo further chemotherapy. He died two days later.

I had always held a soft place in my heart for Roger, for he was the critic who came closest to my own feelings about movies. What he liked, I enjoyed; what he disliked, I generally wouldn't spend money on seeing.

How did I discover this? By using the WiseGeek website, where they have a database of critics and their reviews of movies. Here's how it works: They have a list of movies here, and you personally rate each movie you've seen. Then they compare your ratings of those movies with their database list and match you up with a movie critic who has also rated those movies similarly to your scores.

It's that easy.

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The WIT and WISDOM of ROGER EBERT

From his review of "The Brown Bunny": I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.

"No good movie is too long and no bad movie is too short."

From his review of "Mad Dog Time": Mad Dog Time is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time ... [it] should be cut into free ukulele picks for the poor. 

"If a movie is really working, you forget for two hours your Social Security Number and where your car is parked."

From his review of "Armageddon": Whatever they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.

"Kindness covers all of my political beliefs. No need to spell them out. I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out."

From his review of "Freddy Got Fingered": This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.

"Every great film should seem new every time you see it."

From his review of "Crocodile Dundee": I've seen audits that were more thrilling.

"Yes, I was fat, but I dealt with it by simply never thinking about it. It is useful, when you are fat, to have a lot of other things to think about."

From his review of "A Lot Like Love": To call A Lot Like Love dead in the water is an insult to water.

From his review of "The Last Airbender": The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.

From his review of "Seven Days In Utopia": I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.

 In his last public statement, on his blog, he had reminisced about the beginning of his film criticism career, some 46 years earlier. He summarized by saying, "So on this day of reflection I say again, thank you for going on this journey with me. I'll see you at the movies." 

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. I understand that Gene Siskel is waiting, and has saved Roger a seat on the aisle.

An American Road Trip?

I have been on several fabulous vacations with my Dad in recent years. There was the cruise to Alaska, the long road trip - spent mostly in the car, frankly - to Nova Scotia and back, and our most recent jaunt to sunny Florida where, I think, we finally got it just right.

But now I will suggest another road trip for you, sparked by the news that this past Monday the Obama Administration declared five more sites in the good ol' U.S.A. national monuments. Go visit 'em all!

The list now sits at a total of 108. You can find them all and a bit of background from your friendly neighborhood Wikipedia here.

What a trip that would be, eh?

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SILLY ACTUAL ROAD SIGNS

"If you hit this sign, you will hit this bridge."

"Welcome to Reed City. If you lived here, you'd be home now."

"Extreme Fire Hazard. Don't Even Fart in the Forest Today."

At a gas station: "Regular - Arm; Mid•Grade - Leg; Premium - First Born"

On the road outside of Las Vegas: "Guns - Wedding Gowns - Cold Beer"

"Drive slow, see our village. Drive fast, see our judge."

--Roadandtravel.com

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"When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it."  (Yogi Berra)

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Be careful when you hit the road. It's hard and often hits back.

Mawwiage

Any fan of the movie, "The Princess Bride" should instantly recognize the title of today's post.

But yes, let's talk about marriage for a moment. There's a new legislative bill being considered in Scotland that would allow a third type of organization to conduct marriages, in addition to religious and civil ceremonies. The third type is being defined only as organizations that must pass certain tests to be defined as a "belief group."

The link takes you to a story where the Free Church of Scotland comes out against it, suggesting that groups as far afield as the Order of Jedi Knights would be allowed to conduct marriages, if the "Marriage and Civil Partnership Bill" passes.

Your thoughts?

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While we're on the subject, here's a relatively thoughtful article from Our Sunday Visitor's blog, a Catholic weekly newspaper, on why same-sex marriage is not necessarily a good thing. Though it's published in a religious forum, the article goes out of its way to set religion aside and makes its point in a kind, civil way. Something quite refreshing, if you ask me.

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When it comes to the whole question of homosexuality and same-sex marriage, I must confess that my thoughts are a very jumbled bag. It's a thorny issue with which I wrestle using the Bible in one hand and my experience and understanding of the way God and nature works in the other. One day perhaps I shall have the courage to make the attempt to put these musings down here on the blog, but I hesitate because a) I have not found any answers that satisfy me, and b) I'm pretty sure my beliefs would offend just about everyone, no matter which side of the question you stand.

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I do have some legitimate thoughts on two people committing their lives to one another, however. And I wrote them back in 2006. You can find those here.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. For richer, poorer? For better, worse? In sickness and in health? I choose richer, better, and health. Well, it's multiple choice, isn't it?

NASA, Phasers, Guns, and Mr. Rogers

I just keep stumbling across these interesting tidbits in my Internet travels, which have actually increased since I retired (to my work ethic's chagrin).

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was recently called on the carpet by Congress to explain why they haven't done more to locate and advise the public on Near-Earth Objects (NEOs), such as the meteor that exploded over Russia recently.

The answer? Congress keeps cutting their funding.

Duh! And d'oh!

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From the science desk comes the invention and miniaturization of the ... are you ready? ... phaser! Seriously, you know that the word laser is an acronym, right? It stands for "Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation." Well, scientists in Japan have now done basically the same thing that lasers do, only with sound waves instead of light waves. Those particles are called phonons, so the appropriate name for the process is "phasing."

It was actually first invented about three years ago, but at that time the phonons needed a medium - such as light - to move through. The Japanese research lab has successfully removed the light ride-along piece. Unlike a laser, which can move through the vacuum of space, the phaser needs air to get the job done, so it will only have an earthly application at this time.

They've been able to put it on a microchip, though, so it may well end up replacing quartz as the regulator in all of our timepieces. At least for those of us who still wear a watch instead of peeking at our cell phone for the time.

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Speaking of guns, the website Thumbs and Ammo posits that real men don't need to use a gun, just the power of positive thinking.

So they have dedicated themselves to taking images from popular movies, removing the gun(s), and replacing the trigger fingers with a "thumbs up" sign.

Some of them - such as the one pictured here - are quite funny.

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Finally, today would have been Fred Rogers 85^th birthday. Here's an interesting mashup honoring his life as the children's TV host, "Mr. Rogers."



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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/baldmark. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Why yes, it *is* a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Miscellaneous Monday

Well, ABC's Dancing with the Stars is back and my wife is ecstatic. Did I tell you she once studied ballroom dancing? 'Tis true. In fact, our local Arthur Murray's studio asked her to become an instructor, but she demurred.

It's something I've promised her we'll take up in retirement, and I intend to keep my word. When she retires and her schedule frees up, watch for us!

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A company that helps develop smartphone applications - called "apps" in the vernacular - has published an infographic on mobile phone use. Internet access is indeed getting more and more portable and ubiquitous. Soon it will be everywhere.

The company - New Relic (love that name!) - says there are now more Android phone activations every day than there are babies being born. And by 2020, half of all your financial transactions will be done over your phone.

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So, hey, my daughter has a blog. It's a work in progress and she's new to all this stuff, but I feel proud of her in a "chip-off-the-block" kind of way. You won't find anything really deep there yet, but she's got an easy way of writing that makes it a fun read.

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And oh, yes, before I forget ... tomorrow is my wife's birthday. That's her, below. Yup, I'm one lucky guy.

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Mark's Musings is published on a periodical basis - right now on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - but that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/baldmark. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. No, I won't be telling you how old she is.....