Neighbors

Time Magazine has identified Ten New Money-Saving websites for your use.

For you folks who do a lot of home improvement stuff, DiggersList would be the one to check out.

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We were staying at a lovely country resort and became friendly with the inn's handyman during our stay. Toward the end of the vacation, he confided that his neighbor had a nice little cottage for sale at a reasonable price, if we liked the area.

We did, so we went to have a look at it and just fell in love with it, despite its run-down appearance. We bought the place "as is."

The day after we moved in, our handyman friend and new neighbor dropped by with a housewarming gift.

"You got a good buy, that's for sure," he said, "but the place does need some work, though. The roof leaks, the plumbing's shot, and the well tends to run dry in the summer."

Dismayed, I retorted, "Why didn't you tell us that *before* we bought it?"

"Weren't neighbors then," he replied.

[Da Mouse Tracks via Doc's Daily Chuckle]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, 'Of all the commandments, which is the most important?' 'The most important one,' answered Jesus, 'is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.' " (Mark 12:28-31)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Bathroom Jam

I think I mentioned that my wife is gone this week. Usually I try to surprise her with some sort of household improvement, even if it's just a little bit of extra cleaning. This week, however, I'm busy wearing my union editor hat so there may not be much of that.

If you have time, however, Reader's Digest provides solutions to nine common bathroom cleaning problems.

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As my wife finished cleaning the bathroom one day, she noticed the toilet wasn't flushing properly, and asked me to investigate. I couldn't fix the problem with a plunger, so I wound up dismantling the entire fixture ... no small feat for the non-plumber, home improvement-impaired man that I am.

I discovered, jammed down inside the drain, a purple rubber dinosaur, belonging to our five-year old son. I removed it and then painstakingly got all the toilet parts put back together properly.

To my surprise, it didn't flush and drain much better than it had before. As I pondered what to do next, our son wandered into the room. I explained what I was doing and pointed to the purple dinosaur as the source of the problem.

That's when he asked, "Did you get the green one out, too?"

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: It sounds like our friend above put that toilet back together meticulously. That word has its root in the Latin word, "metus," which meant fear. Someone who had "meticulosus" was fearful, or timid. The word in its current form has come to mean someone who is extremely or even obsessively careful about paying attention to details. Almost as if they were afraid to get it wrong. See how that word works?

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Moose Meat

Here's something that I can't see us being domestic enough to do, but I imagine many of you are.

You take one day each month, and make ALL your meals, for the *entire* month.

It's called OAMC. Once A Month Cooking.

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A butcher fresh out of his Canadian trade school applies for and receives a job at a meat processing business. His first task is to skin and cut up the wildlife kills of local hunters, chopping them into serving portions.

His very first job is to process a moose and package it for the freezer.

The job takes all day but he finally finishes up. He's got chops, flank steak, ribs, sirloin, etc. all bagged, marked and stored in the freezer. But after he finishes processing all the parts he knows, there's still a small pile of unidentifiable parts.

At a loss as to what to do with them, he bags them up for the freezer, also, and labels the bag:

Moosellaneous.

[Teddi's Humor via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "My favorite animal is steak." (Fran Lebowitz)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Jack Russell Jesse

Jesse is one smart Jack Russell terrier.

Reminds me of our old dog, Chelsey.





My favorite is the bit with the dishwasher.

Big Date

So last week Bonnie and I attended a fundraiser for our local Food Bank. While there, I submitted a bid in their silent auction for a serving platter autographed by Michigan (and Hollywood) celebrity, Tim Allen.

Well, as you can see by the photo, I won!

But, as my daughter asked ... now what? Display it? Use it? Sell it? Post your thoughts in the Comments section below.

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A young man called his mother to explain excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and what should he do next?

"Well, your father sent me flowers, and then invited me over for a home-cooked meal," Mom replied.

"That's a great idea! I'm seeing her on Saturday ... I'll do it!"

Sunday rolls around and Mom rings up her son to see how the big date had gone.

"Oh, Mom," moans the son, "it didn't go so well. I was totally humiliated."

"I'm so sorry! What happened?"

"Well, she insisted on washing the dishes," the son explained.

"And that's a problem for you....?" Mom inquires.

"We hadn't eaten yet."

[Good Clean Funnies]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours." (Psalm 128:1-2)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Washed Dog

Well, the weather went from partly sunny to mostly cloudy and back again ... the temperature was a brisk 52 degrees ... and Bonnie and I walked the three miles with a friend in just about 45 minutes, so that was pretty good. (That's me to the left right before we started.) Thanks again to all who contributed to the cause!

At the end of our little jaunt, we were ... well, sweaty. Some of our clothes *definitely* needed to see the inside of a washer. Even in the cool weather.

The folks at Wallet Pop have put together a pretty good feature on detergents.

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A young lad of about eight was in the corner grocery one day, picking out a pretty good-sized box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked him if he had a lot of laundry to do and did he need any help with his selection?

"Oh, no," replied the boy, "I'm not doing laundry. I'm going to wash my dog."

"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," the grocer advised, pointing to the box the boy was holding. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he might get sick. In fact, it might even kill him!"

But the boy was not to be dissuaded and so he carried his big box of detergent to the checkout and paid for it.

About a week later the grocer saw the boy in the store again, this time buying some candy. He asked him how things had gone with his dog.

"Oh, he died," said the boy, sadly.

The grocer, remarked that he was very sorry the boy's dog had passed away, but that "I did try to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."

"Oh, I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."

"What was it, then?" asked the grocer.

"I think it was the spin cycle."

[Pastor Tim's Pearly Gates]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: October, as you must know by now, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it's Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month, it's Church Library Month, it's Emotional Wellness Month, and it's Apple Month (among many others). It's Financial Planning Week, Customer Service Week, and World Space Week. Tomorrow is World Teacher's Day, Wednesday is Mad Hatter Day, and Friday is National Depression Screening Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Light Bulbs

One of the biggest bugaboos about installing solar energy panels for your home use was the cost. Not only of the equipment, but also of the installation as you had to find some way to wire it up to your home energy source efficiently.

Well, a company called Clarian Technologies thinks they may have licked that issue. Here's a more indepth interview.

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MORE LIGHT BULB JOKES

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
One ... two ... a-one-two-three-four!

How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but you need a lot of light bulbs.

How many climate-change skeptics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The bulb going out is a natural cycle of nature. It will come back on eventually.

How many senior citizens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she paid $2,000 and got it from an infomercial.

How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
Eon.

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb.
Five. Because the light bulb was *THIS* big! You should have seen it! It took all of us!

How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll tell you that he thinks he'll have to replace the entire socket.

How many pushy wives does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows, they're still trying to change their husbands.

How many interior decorators does it take to change a light bulb?
It isn't too late to move this fixture farther from the window, is it?

How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
One ... plus or minus three.

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but you'll have to get his attention first.

[selected (with a few minor edits) from several Internet sources by Mark Raymond]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need, but not for man's greed." (Mohandas K. Gandhi)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptionsare free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Classical Errors

It is National Sewing Machine Day. For those of you who still use one (and I know you're out there), you can find some handy instructions on maintaining your machine at the link.

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WHY PROOFREADING IS SO IMPORTANT

Monday: "For sale - R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7:00 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap."

Tuesday: "Notice - We regret having erred in the ad for R.D. Jones yesterday. It should have read: 'One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7:00 p.m.' "

Wednesday: "Notice - R.D. Jones has informed us of the many annoying phone calls he has received because of the error we made in his ad yesterday. The ad is now corrected as follows: 'For sale - R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7:00 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him.' "

Thursday: "Announcement - I, R.D. Jones no longer have a sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have NOT been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper. She has now quit. So do I!"

[Thomas S. Ellsworth in the Good Clean Funnies List]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." (2 Corinthians 9:6)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Friendly Greeting?

I take a shower nearly every day. But thanks to this slightly dated link, I have yet one more reason to be thankful I'm healthy.

And here's what you can do about it. I try to be helpful.

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In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom supply store. It was near closing, so all we had time to do was discuss our needs with the young woman helping us. We made plans to come back the next day and make a final decision.

Later that evening, we went out to a local restaurant, only to run into the same young lady who was helping us at the store. She was working as a waitress.

From across the restaurant, she spotted us and shouted a greeting that made nearly every head in the place turn, and my wife act like she didn't want to know me.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, "you're the man who needs a shower!"

[Net 153's Smile A Day]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: The Latin word for a dish, or a pan, was patina, which also came to eventually describe the encrusted sheen frequent use gave to it. Now it pretty much refers to any look that gives an object a unique - and usually aged - quality. It can, however, also be used to describe a thin coating of anything. As in, "the shower head was so old there was a thin patina of rust on it."

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Crossword Clue

I'm probably biased, but my father is remarkable.

He is one of those people who can, quite literally, do just about anything he sets his mind to. He's artistic, he's a published poet, an ordained lay minister, and he's extremely good with his hands and tools, creating many handy gadgets and home aids from scratch with just wood, nails, glue, and a bit of ingenuity.

So he'll probably appreciate this.

50 years of Popular Science magazine. Online. For free.

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Sitting in a hospital waiting room, I watched a woman and her son. They were working a crossword puzzle together.

"Mom?" the boy asked, pointing to the puzzle. "What fits here?"

"It's man's best friend," Mom hinted, helpfully.

The boy thought a moment, then guessed, "Duct tape?"

["Life in These United States" from Reader's Digest Online]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Why are they called monkey wrenches? Do monkeys use them, too?

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Bad Furnace Guy

I arrived home from work yesterday to the smell of smoke in the house. Never a good thing.

Turns out our furnace had decided to go out. Way out. In fact, it went out so far it's not coming back. And that's really unfortunate timing, because it's tough to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day when your skin is slightly blue.

Ah well, there goes the summer vacation money.

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SIGNS YOU MIGHT HAVE CALLED THE WRONG FURNACE REPAIR GUY

He smells like smoke. And your his first stop of the day.

He uses a bright flashlight and a really big magnifying glass to try and re-light your furnace.

The instruction manual he leaves for the furnace he just installed only has two instructions:
1. Light furnace.
2. Run away.

He opens his toolbox and the only things you see are a roll of duct tape, some tinfoil, and a crucifix.

Estimates his bill with a set of Yahtzee^TM dice.

You notice his furnace filters all say "Mr. Coffee" on them.

When the firemen arrive, they all say his name in unison.

[selected from a list written by Dave Tippett; circa 2006. Edits by Mark Raymond]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "The light is what guides you home, the warmth is what keeps you there." (Ellie Rodriguez)

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"Motivational" Posters

Say you have an empty wall in your room and a giant poster would look really great in that spot. Say you have the perfect picture you'd like to have made into that poster. Say you have a couple of spare ink cartridges.

You can make your own. For free. (Well, not counting paper, ink, frame, effort, etc.)

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CORPORATE "MOTIVATIONAL" SLOGANS for POSTING

Adversity: That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.

Ambition: The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

Apathy: If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us.

Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

Compromise: Let's agree to respect each other's views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

Consulting: If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Customer Disservice: Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

Despair: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Ineptitude: If you can't do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

Leaders: Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.

Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Overconfidence: Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you can survive the odds beating you.

Propaganda: What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies to our faces.

[selected from the "Demotivators" section at Despair.com; the pictures that go with these posters are priceless]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Did the person who invented copyrights make any money on it?

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Christmas Thanks

Well, I am back to work today. Still not quite 100% and that dang flu cost me about 10 pounds in three days. Certainly nothing I can't afford to lose (hey, jump start on that diet!) but the reality is that probably most of it was water weight loss from all the up and chucking.

But enough about me. It's back to business as usual here in the corporate HQ of the Musings.

List member Susan B. sends along a very cool link and a nice Christmas gift for someone who is probably sorely in need of it. Cleaning for a Reason offers four free cleanings - one each month for four months - to women going through cancer treatment and chemotherapy. They have over 600 partner cleaning companies all across the U.S. and Canada. And they only contract with professional cleaning services that are insured and bonded, so you can feel good about using them.

Because life is hard enough when you have cancer, isn't it?

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Lord, this year for Christmas I am thankful that...

...the grass doesn't grow through the snow, making winter mowing necessary, as well.

...that there are only 24 hours every day available for television programming.

...that there aren't twice as many Congressional Representatives and half as many doctors.

...that teenagers will ultimately have children who will grow up to be teenagers.

...that the space available for messages on tee shirts and bumper stickers is limited.

...that snow covers a multitude of gardening sins.

...that hugs and kisses don't make you fat or cause cancer.

...that DVD players, and radios, and TVs, and iPods, and cell phones all have an "off" button.

...that the sun and moon and stars do not.

[Mikey's Funnies; edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Here's one that tickled my fancy, coined by The Word Spy. When the news media trumps up a nonexistent or trivial - even false - story, that's now being called a "nontroversy." As in, "no controversy." I love it!

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Tidy Bed

A quick trip through our home - even a cavalier jog ... okay, even a mad dash at full speed - would reveal we're not much on cleaning. We periodically have to invite people over so we have a reason to do it. You, too?

But when you do clean, here's a few methods using mostly stuff you may already have lying around your home to do some nasty jobs. Plus there's a bunch more methods in the comments section at the bottom.

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My wife and I are teachers, and the way we teach often spills over into our home. One morning our young daughter was getting ready for school and as I walked by her bedroom, I peeked in to make sure she had tidied it up as we asked.

"You call *that* a made-up bed?" I asked.

"No, Dad," Maggie replied, "it's just a rough draft."

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "When it comes to housework, the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or perhaps I mean why." (Katharine Whitehorn)

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Mark's Musings is available via RSS Feed and e-mail each weekday. Get your own squeaky clean subscription - it's free! - with a click here.

Secret Shopper

Every now and again I will put together our grocery list. Lately it's been more now than again, but that's due to the fact I get out of work in the early afternoon these days. And on every list I find I'm jotting down what you might call "household essentials." Things like toilet paper, toothpaste, razors, trash bags, vitamins, shampoo, soap, etc.

Well, because I'm all about stuff you can do with the Internet here at Mark's Musings, you can now order these items online, and shipped right to your door for free ... at a price that's the same or, quite often, less than what you'd pay down at the corner grocer's or local big box store.

So go see Alice. She'll also remind you of when you're probably running low on these items, and she'll even scour the Internet and retailers to find coupons that could save you even more money.

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As a secret shopper for a large department store, my sister made purchases at various chains and then reported back to the supervisors on the clerks' performances. After a few weeks of doing this, I asked her how she liked her job.

"I love it!" she replied. "I'm getting paid for doing two of my favorite things in life -- shopping and criticizing people!"

[Reader's Digest via Joe's Clean Laffs]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Why do cashiers always insist on putting the coins on top of the bills?

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Mark's Musings comes on an RSS Feed and via e-mail for free almost every day and you can get it by clicking here.

Service

Calendar note: today is the autumnal equinox, or "Fall" in other words. So named, one presumes, for all the leaves that fall out of the trees during this season.

Hey, my wife spent much of Monday night watching "Dancing with the Stars" while whipping up some steaks for our lunch today. (Well, we were supposed to have them for Monday supper, but best-laid plans and all that.)

This might be a handy little gadget next time you need to cook something. It's a frying pan with a digital thermometer built right into the handle (removable for dishwashing).

They're currently sold out but stuff that sells that well gets restocked pretty quickly.

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The other day I went to a restaurant that I hadn't been to in some time. It was quite busy but I was in no hurry.

When the waiter came to take my order, I remarked, "You know, it's been ten years since I came in here."

The waiter gave me a sympathetic look and said, "I am sorry sir, but I'm working as fast as I can."

[Top Greetings]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Winter is an etching, Spring a watercolor, Summer an oil painting, and Autumn a mosaic of them all." (Stanley Horowitz)

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Deck Work

We are still in the middle of redecorating and renovating several rooms in our home. With both Bonnie and I working several jobs, the progress is slow. Very slow.

If we had any artistic skills at all, maybe we'd just paint the whole place cream, buy $10 worth of permanent markers, and go to town, like this guy did.

Clicking on the video stops it briefly, and a clicking/dragging combination will move the picture left or right. It is perhaps the most innovative - and cheapest - decorating job I've ever seen.

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I was working in the sun all day this past summer, putting the finishing touches on our new deck, when my sister pulled into the driveway. She greeted me and spent a few minutes looking over my work as I continued to paint.

From behind me I heard her gush, "Wow, you're an expert!"

I felt complimented and immensely satisfied. But, not trying to seem too full of myself, I turned to her and said, "Well, once you get going, it's pretty easy!"

She looked puzzled and I had to wonder if perhaps I had misheard her comment, so I asked, "What did you just say?"

She smiled and replied, "I said, Wow, your neck's burnt!"

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

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Hey, tomorrow is "International Talk Like A Pirate Day." If you're on Facebook, scroll to the bottom of your screen and click the name of your current language, then select "English (Pirate)." It's a hoot! Gets kind of annoying after more than a day or two, but for tomorrow, it's entirely appropriate.

I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Time Magazine has done it again and issued their "50 Best Websites of 2009" at http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/0,28757,1918031,00.html. It's late and I haven't got time to go through them all, so I apologize in advance if any of these are not family friendly, but in general, I trust Time. Thanks and a tip o'the Mark's Musings cap to local blogger Andy Heller.

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Mark's Musings is sent each weekday - to now around 580 of you (am I getting more unpopular?) - using Ezine Director and I pay a little extra every day to make sure my posts are certified by Habeas to be a safe source of e-mail. Subscribe, view past issues in my Archives, and otherwise pleasantly click your mouse at my web site. If you need to change your e-mail address or you're all mused out and need to unsubscribe, use the "Change Subscription" or "Cancel Subscription" links at the very bottom of this page, but click with care, please. To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. Please notice that today's post is just CHOCK FULL of links you can click. You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. It's nice if the credits stay post-bound. Original material and musings © 2009 by Mark Raymond. I update my blog with a copy of this post daily and occasionally with "bonus material" whenever the mood or muse strikes. Look for the label that says "bonus" and you can bring all that extra material up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. Find me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/baldmark/. If I had a nickel for every time I thought about charging money for this post, I'd have five cents.

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "The future is much like the present, only longer." (Don Quisenberry)

Spring Cleaning

Well, Spring weather finally appears to have arrived here in Michigan.

And that means that Spring Cleaning can't be far behind.

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HOW TO TELL YOUR HOME NEEDS A DOSE OF SPRING CLEANING

Your front door has more fingerprints than the FBI.

The dust mites have banded together and formed a union.

The kids can't find their toys ... or the toy box.

The garbage disposal is coughing.

You can't find the cordless phone unless it rings.

You can make concrete blocks from the kitty litter.

The pile of magazines on the coffee table goes back to the Nixon administration.

You wonder if hosing down the carpets would make them look better.

You seriously consider just moving instead of trying to clean the house.

[written by Sheila Moss with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Let's get to today's word in three steps. Step One: Ancient Greek words "ou" (not) and "topos" (place - root for the word topography), were the foundation for the word utopia. Step Two: Utopia was the name of Sir Thomas More's novel, written in 1516, about an imaginary island enjoying a perfect system of democracy, law, etc. Step Three: Add the Greek modifier "dys" (bad - think of dysentery or dyslexia) and you get today's word: dystopia. It means the opposite of utopia. As in, "Mark's office was a dystopian quagmire of unfiled papers, unfinished projects, unopened mail, and leftover food." (Hmmm, maybe that was too much information....)

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Mark's Musings is available via RSS Feed and e-mail each weekday. Get your very own subscription by clicking here.

Peggy's Answer

Everybody likes to get the most "bang" for their buck.

And pretty much everyone I know trusts Consumer Reports, a magazine and website dedicated to fair reporting and evaluation of, well, pretty much everything. They receive absolutely no ad revenue from anyone, so they can remain completely fair and impartial.

Check out this report to get the skinny on eleven common, everyday products you see on your grocer's shelves that Consumer Reports thinks are just "great."

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Christian author and speaker Tony Campolo tells a story from the days when his wife, Peggy, was at home full-time with their children.

When someone would ask, "And what is it that you do, dear?" Peggy would reply, "I am socializing two homo sapiens into the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into the kind of eschatological utopia that God willed from the beginning of creation."

Then Peggy would ask the other person, "And what do you do?"

[from the book, "An Ordinary Day with Jesus" with thanks to the Church Laughs Newsletter]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Why will a child eat everything the sample lady at the store passes out but not touch it on their plate at home? Is it the toothpicks?

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Mark's Musings is available via RSS Feed or via e-mail each weekday. You can get your own subscription, I mean, you know, if you don't already have one, by clicking here.

Wool Socks

Vinegar. What do you think of when you read that word?

I'll bet some of you are making a face. Stop it.

Vinegar - besides being tasty on your salad when mixed with the right herbs and flavors - is one of those "amazing wonders" in your everyday household products.

In fact, Reader's Digest is offering up 175 uses for the stuff.

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The psychiatrist was interviewing his new patient.

"You say you've come to me," he inquired as he consulted his notes, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"

"Yeah, they are," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."

"Wool socks? Why, that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor.

"That's what I told 'em," the new patient mumbled.

"Yes, many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I like wool socks, myself."

The patient grew excited, "You DO?" he asked. "With oil and vinegar ... or just a squeeze of lemon?"

[Pastor Tim's Pearly Gates]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "If you could give yourself one new present in the new year, I would say buy a new set of dishes and make the salad plates your main plates. Dinner plates are so large and we just fill them up. We simply eat too much of everything." (John Hastings)

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