Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Diabetics: We Can Rebuild You

Image courtesy of HuffPo Healthy Living
What I saw today around the world and the web:

Medicine has now given those with Type 1 Diabetes Mellitus a fighting chance to not obsess over their disease. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, a combination of an under-the-skin glucometer, a hard-wired bionic pancreas, and an iPhone - of all things - can be used in combination to effectively lift most of the burden of the disease. The original article is here and a more reader-friendly version is here.

In a nutshell, the glucometer constantly monitors your blood-sugars and sends a wireless signal to the iPhone, which then tells the bionic pancreas - which consists of both insulin for when sugars go too high and glucagon for when they dip too low - which component to send into the bloodstream. No more finger pricks, no more insulin needles, no more worry about crashing after a workout at the gym or a brisk walk or going too long in between meals.

I'm sure it will be some time before the product becomes commercially viable, affordable, and/or covered by insurance ... but it's good to know there is hope for my fellow diabetics.

I've always felt that diabetes was, in some respects, like cancer. There is no cure for it, only treatments, and in the end it will kill you just as surely. We know enough about it and have fairly good treatments that it does not need to define who we are, and for sure it doesn't carry the stigma and emotional weight of The Big C, but it is becoming a larger and larger problem in the world - especially for Americans and our consumptive lifestyles.

THIRD WORLD PROBLEMS

While folks here in the U.S. worry about which venue they will use to watch the U.S. Soccer team take on Ghana in the World Cup. Cable television? Online? Smartphone? Meanwhile, folks in Ghana are worrying about if their country will have enough electricity to power enough televisions to watch the contest. Apparently most of the electrical power in the country comes from hydroelectric plants and there has been a water shortage recently.

If this doesn't clearly define the difference between "First World Problems" and "Third World Problems," I don't know what will.

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Mark's Musings is published on a semi-periodical basis that may change without notice. Find me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/markmusings. Facebook link is over there to the right. This blog is considered to be a digital periodical publication and is filed as such with the U.S. Library of Congress; ISSN 2154-9761. Just a couple of little things today.

Monday, February 04, 2013

Super Bowled Over?

(Remember to click the title above to read the entire post!)

The Baltimore Ravens defeated the San Francisco 49ers in yesterday's Super Bowl. I admit that I was pulling for the Ravens, but only because they had Michael Oher playing for them and I greatly enjoyed the movie about his early life, "The Blind Side."

But enough about the game. Let's talk about the commercials. Because, really, that's the big draw for this event, am I right? Ad Blitz has them all up on YouTube here.

On the whole, I was disappointed. We generally gather together with friends and the only time everyone is paying attention to the television - as there are many, many folks at these things who couldn't care less about the game - is when the commercials come on. You can tell by the crowd reaction which ones are hit and which ones miss. It felt like there were a lot more misses this year.

Most of the typical ad strategies were represented: the "aww" ad featuring the Budweiser Clydesdale. Bud is even sponsoring a "name the pony" contest via Twitter. Then there's the put-a-lump-in-your-throat patriotic ad. Last year it was Clint Eastwood, this year it was one narrated by Oprah Winfrey for a combined Jeep/USO ad. There's usually some kind of "sex sells" ad, but this year was notoriously light on those (thankfully). The closest one was probably the Axe astronaut ad. There's generally a cute babies or cute animals ad ... I think Kia cornered the market on both in one commercial this year. 

There's always at least one ad that makes you scratch your head and wonder why any company would blow $3 million on *that* ... for me this year it was the one from Mio featuring Tracy Morgan. Speaking of which, there are always ads that feature celebrities; sometimes these click (as in the Best Buy ad featuring Amy Poehler), and sometimes they don't (see the near-unwatchable Bud Light ads featuring Stevie Wonder or the Samsung ad with Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen, with a LeBron James cameo).

Though there were several ads that I thoroughly enjoyed, for me the one that I'm remembering best is this ad for the Hyundai Sonata Turbo:



THOUGHT TO CHEW ON: Experts tell us that watching a 2-hour movie filled with violence and profanity has no discernible effect on our behavior. If that's true, why do these companies pay more than $3 million (plus some rather large production costs) on something that lasts only 30 seconds ... all in the interest of changing our behavior?

So which commercial(s) did you like?

Friday, March 25, 2011

Bad Seats


It's my annual fantasy baseball weekend, where two of my three teams will hold their all day drafts and auctions. This year I'm pretty much flying by the seat of my pants as I haven't had time to do my usual player research, so we'll see how much baseball lore and knowledge I've soaked up over the years. Should be fun!

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SIGNS YOU'VE GOT LOUSY SEATS AT THAT SPORTING EVENT

The guy selling concessions in your section is a Sherpa.

The Goodyear blimp keeps blocking your view.

You got there early, but by the time you reach your seat, the rest of the crowd is doing the seventh inning stretch.

You hear the crack of the bat just as you see the batter rounding second base.

You'd call your buddy behind home plate to see how he's doing but when you got to your section your phone went into Roaming.

Your view is so obstructed your tickets came with a pocket radio so you could listen to the game.

"Supplemental oxygen! Git yer ice cold, supplemental oxygen right here!"



[Chris White's Top Five on Sports with edits and additions by Mark Raymond]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: As the parent of a teenage driver whose cell phone is never far from her hand, I'm loving http://www.zapmytext.com/. The cost is $4.99 per month ($49.99 if you pay annually, saving ten bucks), but if that child's phone is moving faster than 10 miles per hour, the application will block all texts, e-mails, and Internet browsing. You can add "safe" phone numbers for them to contact, and they can still call 911, and there are plans to add up to three phones if you have more than one child.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle (just 99¢. A month.) and arrives via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Notre Dame vs. MSU


In the interest of time, just the joke today. Lots of links in yesterday's post.

This one's for all you football fans, as the season winds down and the playoffs approach.

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As a Catholic, I'm partial to Notre Dame football. As a former Michigan resident, though, I also keep tabs on Michigan college football teams. One Saturday afternoon, a neighbor dropped in while I was watching Notre Dame play Michigan State.

"Which team do you want to win?" he asked.

"Gosh, I don't know," I replied. "I'm kind of torn between Church and State."


[Robert A. Kozma in Reader's Digest Online]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings." (George F. Will)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Pit Crew

Documentary films tend to have a decidedly, umm, let's say National Public Radio/Television axe to grind - which means they tend to lean more toward the liberal end of the spectrum rather than the conservative ... nonetheless there have been some very good documentaries made recently; Oscar-winning films, even.

And you can watch many of them - for free - at Free Documentaries; including some quite popular ones. Everything from films about 9/11 to Who Killed the Electric Car?, which I've heard was quite well done.

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The Ferrari Racing Team recently fired its pit crew to hire several unemployed youths from the Liverpool, England area, after team leaders viewed a documentary showing the vagrant young people removing a set of car wheels without proper tools in under four seconds. The prevailing theory is that most races are won or lost in the pit area so this was thought to be a good move.

What team officials hadn't counted on, however, was that not only were the lads swapping out the tires in under four seconds, but within another ten seconds they had repainted, renumbered, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Racing Team.


[Pastor Tim's PearlyGates]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: It's National Adoption Month and National Peanut Butter Lovers Month. For some reason, this is also Dear Santa Letter Week (must take six weeks to travel up to the North Pole and back ... wink, wink), and it's World Kindness Week. Wednesday marks the anniversary of the Marine Corps, Thursday is Veteran's Day, and Friday is Domino Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Michael's Money

I was scrolling through some folders in my Inbox, and one of them sent me to a website, where I discovered this gem:

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Michael Jordan, having "retired" with $40 million in endorsements annually, makes $178,100 each day, whether he works or not.

If he sleeps seven hours at night, he makes $52,000 while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $10, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a five-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415 more than minimum wage.

If he wanted to save up for a new Jaguar XKR (app. $90,000), it would take him a little more than 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money together, they would have to do it at the rate of $200 per second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100-meter dash in the Olympics, and $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

This year he'll make more than twice as much as all the U.S. past presidents, for all of their terms, combined.

Amazing, isn't it?

However, consider this: if Michael Jordan saves ALL of his income for the next 500 *years,* he'll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment.

Game over. Nerd wins.

[from Up Next in Sports.com]


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WEBSITE of the WEEK: Changing directions, here in the U.S., the August Primaries are coming up very soon. The League of Women Voters have a very helpful website at http://www.vote411.org. If you click the "On Your Ballot" link, you'll be taken to a page where you can enter in your state and local information, and all the ballot issues will be available for review, as well as a set of questions and answers posed and posted by each candidate for every office. Educate yourself and know why you're putting that "X" next to someone's name in the voting booth!

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and your Inbox via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761

Friday, May 14, 2010

Little League


Shortly after the movie "Field of Dreams" came out, I read an interview with its star, Kevin Costner, and in it he said he had wanted to make a movie where, when the lights come up and the credits roll, it's the *guy* who reaches over, touches his girl's arm, and says, "Gimme a minute."

For me, anyway, he succeeded. I needed a minute. It is one of a very small handful of movies that has moved me to tears.

This makes me melancholy, as well.

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SIGNS YOUR LITTLE LEAGUE SEASON WON'T BE SO GOOD

You thought *last* year was awful with your Dad as Coach. This year? It's the vice-principal from your school.

In accordance with the league's new "mercy" rule, the umpire calls the game as soon as your team shows up.

The Coach tells Billy he's batting cleanup, then hands him a mop.

The ball caps provided by the team sponsor have a large "L" embroidered on the front, but your sponsor's business name is "Wally's Wash World."

Your manager? Charlie Brown.

Your best pitcher's fastball is clocked with a snail.


[selected w/some minor edits from Chris White's Top Five on Kids]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: Patricia Hysell retired from Nursing, returned to school to learn about computers, and began writing. Now she writes a very nice blog chock full of historical trivia and insights called "Little Bits of History" at http://patriciahysell.wordpress.com/. She found me through my Facebook page and I'm happy to feature her work here. Enjoy!

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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

One-Two


So is your March 31 weather the opposite of what it was on March 1? You know, the whole "lion/lamb" weather proverb? Ours is actually even nicer than it was on March 1, and March 1 was pretty nice, indeed.

I have some friends who gave up their cable television and now watch a *whole lot* of YouTube. So this is for them, because they also have two children.

Classic cartoons online. Free.

And before you offer, yes. They know about Hulu.

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It began as an innocent game with my toddler son, Robert.

I'd get down on my knees and get into a fighting stance, like a boxer, and start shadowboxing with him. Jabbing with alternating fists, I'd say "one-two, one-two" and he would imitate me. We'd do this over and over again.

I never thought about the consequences of this little game until my wife came home one day from a birthday party to which Robert had been invited. She was a little peeved.

Turns out that the birthday boy's mother had been handing out noisemakers when she leaned over to Robert and asked, "Would you like one, too?"

It took my wife the rest of the party to explain her way out of what happened next.


["Life in These United States" from Reader's Digest via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Why is there boxing at the Goodwill Games?

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Sunday, February 28, 2010

An Olympic Meditation

As the 2010 Winter Olympics shut down in Vancouver today, I thought I would share these words from list member Paul C., who is the pastor of a Baptist Church in Pennsylvania.

He writes:

I have enjoyed watching the Olympics. You too? I’ve been drawn in by all those behind-the-scenes stories. Competitors become more human; victories, more personal; the events, more compelling. When one person wins, their whole country wins as well.

In this season of Lent, Jesus Christ is our humble hero. God comes into the world wearing our uniform. A win for Jesus will be for more than mere gold or bragging rights. A win for Him is a win for us as well. For He wears the flag of TEAM HUMANITY.

Jesus takes on the competition — Satan, who has held onto the gold all these years. Jesus gives himself completely to the struggle. It is life or death. Early on, the crowds cheer to His amazing performance. Later, the tide seems to be turning — and the competition lunges ahead. Now it looks as if there is no hope. It looks as if Jesus has lost. He cries, “It is finished.” Satan raises his arms in gleeful victory.

But wait. Something is happening! It’s not over. What looked like dismal defeat has been overturned! Jesus’ death was only a prelude to a miraculous finish! This victory for Jesus is a victory for all of Humanity! Satan has been defeated now and forever! Death and sin will no longer reign.

This description from Philippians 2 seems to describe the most amazing medal ceremony ever:

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Thank you, Jesus.

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And thank you, Paul.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Olympic Surprises


My wife has been watching a lot of the Winter Olympic Games these past days. I'm learning new terms such as "Super-G," "Skeleton," and "Moguls." This on top of my ongoing puzzlement over the difference between a Salchow, a triple lutz, and a double axel.

Keep tabs on what's going on in Vancouver here.

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SURPRISES AT THE OLYMPICS

Due to rainy, warm weather, the medal for downhill skiing was won by Michael Phelps.

The Curling event was won by a team of janitors from Swiffer.

Someone discovered the extra helium tanks that keep Scott Hamilton's voice in shape.

The Zamboni's have been sequined-proofed.

NBC is using holographic projections to make the events appear sold out.

There is no snow. It's all in my backyard.

[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Sports]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: "Super-G" is the Super Giant Slalom in downhill skiing; "Skeleton" is a luge run on your stomach instead of your back; "Moguls" is another downhill ski race, characterized by a pattern of small mounds, or bumps in the snow. For the figure skating stuff, you're on your own. Knowing the moves and spotting them on the ice is, I think, a talent beyond my ken.

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Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Football Celebrity?

I know I overlooked the Super Bowl results yesterday, but I wanted to post about the Boy Scouts on the day of their anniversary.

I actually watched the entire game, and ALL of the commercials. I remember laughing out loud a few times, chuckling once or twice, and smiling a bunch ... but nothing blew me away this year.

Oh, wait, the Snickers® commercial featuring two classic TV stars did. I laughed until I stopped.

See them all - or see them again - at Hulu's Adzone.

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The night before we were to attend a celebrity golf tournament, my friend Irene went to a party in honor of the event. Several of the famous athletes who were playing in the tournament were at the door, greeting guests. Among them was Joe Montana, the pro football Hall of Fame quarterback and Super Bowl winner.

Shaking Irene's hand, he said, "Hi! Joe Montana."

Well, Irene didn't know Joe Montana from Joe Six-Pack, so in all sincerity she extended her hand and said, "Irene. Minnesota."


[Roger Lee via Reader's Digest Online]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental." (Doug Plank)

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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Two Strokes

This Christmas season, why not give the Earth a gift?

You can plant a tree for as little as $5.00.

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AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

A golfer set up his ball on the first tee and took a mighty swing. To his chagrin, he saw that his drive landed in the midst of a clump of trees.

After he located his ball, he spied a small opening between two of the trees with a clear view of the green. Confident he could hit his ball squarely and accurately, he took out his 3-wood and took another mighty swing.

The ball, sadly, hit the tree squarely and came screaming back at the golfer, striking him right on the forehead and killing him instantly.

As the man approached the Gates of Heaven, 3-wood still in hand, Saint Peter says, "You must be a good golfer."

Proudly, the man exclaims, "Got here in two, didn't I?!"


[with thanks to Molly Rhea's Quotes of the Day via Wit and Wisdom]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools." (John Muir)

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Coaching Future

Columbus Day, 2009.

As Christopher Columbus landed in 1492, and had we the technology available then, would he have wanted to send an e-mail to himself to be read oh, say a year into the future? What would he have wanted to say to himself in 1493? ("Don't give up! There *is* a shorter way to India!")

Hmmm.

Well, now we do have the technology to send yourself an e-mail in the future. Need to remind yourself of something you need to do? Want to remember what you're going through now and how you felt about it? Do you need to send your children a loving letter at some point after you've passed on?

Do it all at Future Me. Make sure you're using an e-mail address that's still likely to be there.

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It's said that Robert Knight, fabled for his temper on the basketball sidelines as a coach, had turned his thoughts to his future after his last firing, and was contemplating more than just basketball. So he called his church pastor one day and asked him, "Reverend, will I be able to coach basketball in Heaven?"

His pastor, not wanting to give a glib answer, asked for a few days to pray and meditate upon the issue.

About a week later, he returned Bob Knight's call and asked him to come in and meet with him in his study.

"Well, Bob," says the pastor, as the two sit down together, "there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that yes, you'll be able to coach basketball in Heaven."

"Great!" exclaims Bob. "What's the bad news?"

"Unless you get a handle on that temper of yours, you'll be coaching for the visiting team."


[Colorado Comments]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Bobby Knight was once the very definition of the word "cantankerous," which is quarrelsome, ill-tempered, crotchety, ornery, and difficult to handle. It's one of those words that no one is quite sure where it came from, but the explanation I like best is that it's a mish-mash of the words "contentious" and "rancorous."

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Score

Thursday is my second day off work during the week. (I have Sundays and Thursday off. I explained that some time ago, didn't I?) Anyway, it's the one day of the week I look forward to getting more than four to six hours of sleep. And sleep I do, like a baby.

Well, a baby that snores like a chainsaw on steroids, but yeah, you get the idea.

Which brings me to today's item. Why are the snooze alarms on most alarm clocks set for a nine-minute interval?

The folks at Mental Floss have suggested the following answer: When the first snooze alarm was added to your bedside clock - circa the 1950s - the engineering of the clock mechanism was already a standardized set of gears. The gear that was added for the snooze alarm could have been sized for roughly nine minutes, or roughly ten minutes.

Physiological sleep studies of the period reported that sleeping for ten minutes was just long enough to fall back into a deep sleep, so the powers that be decided nine minutes it was. Because who wants to wake up from a sound sleep more than once a day?

When the industry converted to digital clocks, the nine-minute interval was so ingrained into the consumer psyche that it was simply carried over.

I am reminded, however, of an old Irish proverb: "A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures."

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After staying up far too late one night watching football, my husband fell asleep in his chair in front of the television. He looked so comfortable I couldn't bear to wake him and just let him spend the night there.

In the morning, I shook him awake and said, "Get up, it's twenty to seven."

Without missing a beat, he said, "Which team has twenty?"


[Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." (Proverbs 3:21-24)

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Old NASCAR Driver

Well, I can't seem to sleep so I might as well write today's post. Sleep will come when it comes. I'm thinking sometime Monday afternoon.

Hey, it's my Dad's birthday today! I won't tell you how old he is but it's a score-and-some years more than myself.

DaySpring makes a lovely and often quite melodic line of Christian e-greeting cards.

You know, for sons who get too busy to remember their father's birthday and get an actual birthday card in the mail.

Ulp.

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WAYS TO TELL THAT NASCAR DRIVER IS TOO OLD

His Nomex fire suit reveals the outline of his Depends.

He leaves the track at 3:30 to make the Early Bird Special down at the Stuckey's.

The champagne in Pit Row has been replaced with Metamucil.

You've heard the story over and over again about when he first started racing, the track was UPHILL all the way around and he had to be his OWN pit crew.

The cup affixed to his dashboard holds his dentures.

"Uh, Billy, this is your crew leader. Anything wrong out there?"
"Nope. I just got the ol' cruise control set to 55."

He waits for an opening in traffic before leaving the pits.

"Hey, when did they get this fancy new pavement here at Daytona?"


[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Sports]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Ancient Greek mythology gave us the halkuon - a bird that nested at sea, usually about the time of the winter solstice, and was fabled to calm the waters. Over time that gave us the word "halcyon" (hal-see-ehn), which now means calm/peaceful/happy/golden/prosperous. We see and hear it most often in the phrase, "halcyon days of yore."

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

War Thoughts

Apparently today is National Tug-of-War Tournament Day, though the actual event this year is being held in Prior Lake, Minnesota on August 1.

Wouldn't it be nice if this was how ALL wars were decided? A length of rope, an arbitrary line in the sand, one judge from each side, and a bunch of people pulling instead of shooting.

Tug of War has been around in one form or another since Egyptian times. It's most popular use was by Captain Richard Woodget in the late 1800s on the tall ship Cutty Sark to help keep his crews fit. Shortly after that clubs were formed in England for the sport. It was even an Olympic event from 1900 through 1920, when the number of games were reduced.

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THOUGHTS ON WAR

"Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work -- that goes on, it adds up." (Barbara Kingsolver)

"There never was a good war or a bad peace." (Benjamin Franklin)

"Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals." (Colman McCarthy)

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies - in the final sense - a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed. The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children." (Dwight D. Eisenhower)

"You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake." (Jeanette Rankin)

"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living. We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount." (Omar Bradley)

"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." (Robert E. Lee)


[selected from Wisdom Quotes]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "You can't say civilization don't advance ... for in every war, they kill you in a new way." (Will Rogers)

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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Conclusion Jumping

Remember "Mad" magazine?

Founded in 1952, this satirical humor magazine is still going strong and recently published its 500th issue. It's like The Simpsons, The Daily Show, and The Onion all rolled into one.

Along the way, it has contributed several iconic figures and strips and images into our societal consciousness. Like its mascot, Alfred E. Neuman. The Spy vs. Spy series. Cartoons in the margins. Don Martin's work. Every issue has a spoof of some television show or popular movie.

But what I'm sending you today is a link to some of the classic Al Jaffee "Fold-Ins" that used to grace the inside of the back cover each issue. Probably still do. Man, those were creative.

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Dick Innes shared this story in Executive Speechwriter some years ago:

"Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning as he was shaving the phone rang. His wife answered and called upstairs to him that someone from Sports Illustrated wanted to talk with him.

"Coach Morris was so excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine that he cut himself with his razor.

"Covered now with blood and shaving lather, he dashed down the stairs, only to trip halfway down and tumble the rest of the way down the steps. Finally, bleeding, bruised and out of breath, he got to the phone and breathlessly said, 'Hello?'

"The voice on the other end said, 'Is your name Speedy Morris?'

" 'Yes,' Speedy replied.

"The voice continued, 'Mr. Morris, I've called to offer you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated for just seventy-five cents an issue.' "


[courtesy of Wit and Wisdom]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." (Habakkuk 3:2)

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Chocolate


Okay, Monday was not a very good day for Michigan.

The Spartans - as I'm writing this, anyway - are having their collective green helmets handed to them by UNC.

The Tigers lost in Toronto on baseball's Opening Day.

And our annual Spring snowstorm - and there's three words you hate to see in the same sentence - invaded our fair state early Monday morning, dropping from 2-5 inches of snow. At least during this time of year nobody worries too much about shoveling it.

For many of us, there's only one thing that can redeem yesterday: chocolate.

Here's nine things you may not have known about Cadbury's Creme Eggs.

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A good piece of chocolate - emphasis on good - has about 200 calories.

As I enjoy two servings per night and a couple more on the weekends, let's round it up to munching down about 3,500 calories of chocolate per week.

Now, a pound of weight is about 3,500 calories.

So...

...in the last three-and-a-half years I've eaten enough chocolate to gain 180 pounds of weight. I only weigh 155 pounds.

So without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing three months ago!


[with thanks to list member Molly Rhea's Quotes of the Day via Wit and Wisdom]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true ... but dare I take the chance?" (Author Unknown)

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Monday, April 06, 2009

Basketball Cell


I'll tell you what, I'm not really much of any kind of sports fan other than baseball. I give baseball my complete attention and am certainly what you would consider a devoted fan. At least of the American League and the finer points of the game itself.

Basketball? Not so much.

But I'll also tell you that I grew up a 10-minute bike ride from East Lansing and Michigan State University. I never attended the school, but having so much of my formative years spent near it, I am taking a special interest and pride in what their basketball team has done, here on the cusp of the NCAA Championship game this evening.

And, thanks to the Internet, if you can't get to a TV you can still watch for free here.

Go Green and White!

(And would my readers near North Carolina please allow me this moment of indulgence.)

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After a recent college basketball game, the coach spotted a cell phone lying on the floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying "Here's your phone."

"What makes you think it's mine?" the ref asked.

"Easy," the coach replied. "It says you missed 13 calls."


[selected from Top Greetings]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: "Vincere" is Latin, meaning "to overcome." A more recognizable version is "vincible," which refers to something that is able to be overcome, or is defeatable. We use it more with the negative modifier "in" on the front to give us the word "invincible," which is something that is not able to be defeated. I thought it an appropriate word for today.

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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Rejected Names

Oh, dear. Some of you couldn't watch the Superbowl Commercials because access to the NBC website was apparently not available in your area. Here's a site that will tell you lots of alternative locations to view them online.

And other than that, troops, I am just all in. Pooped. Exhausted. Burned out. Crispy, even.

So I'm going to bed an hour earlier Monday night, which means just the joke today.

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REJECTED NAMES FOR INTERNATIONAL SPORTS TEAMS

Brussels Sprouts

Cannes Openers

Belgium Waffles

Manila Folders

Czech Bouncers

Bolivia DeHavillands

Seoul Brothers

Taipei Personalities

Syria Killers

Hungary Jacks

Prague Tologists

Peking Toms

[selected from Net 153s Sunday Funnies via Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: (Regarding football) "You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four." (Dan Birdwell)

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Mark's Musings comes on an RSS Feed and is also sent each weekday via email, so why take a swing with a two-by-four when you can get your very own subscription here? It's still free.