Cat Baseball

This is our cat, Spot. As she approaches her fourth birthday, she is finally settling down enough to become a lap kitty.

Mind you, she's no Oscar, but we love her. Most days. Usually.

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IF BASEBALL WERE RUN BY CATS

Hard rubber ball with horsehide cover? History. New ball comes with jingle bells and catnip.

No one showers after a game; must lick themselves clean.

Catcher=Scratching Post.

Each team gets nine outs and that's it.

Interest in the peanuts is secondary to fascination with peanut shells.

Base runners must run home. Or they could climb the outfield wall. Or hide in the dugout. Or hide in the bullpen and run home the next morning.

A player is no longer charged with an error if they were simply ignoring the play.

Pitcher's mound doubles as a litter box. Umpire checks for foreign substance on ball quadruples.

Hacking up a hairball on the umpire is cause for immediate ejection.

Only three players are allowed to chase down a ball at any one time.

Seventh inning stretch lasts for the whole inning.

Before the game starts, everyone stands for the playing of the sound of a can opener.

[Chris White's Top Five on Pets w/edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: You might think that "feline" was derived from the same word that gives us "lion," but it doesn't. It's from the Latin word felis, which refers to a "cat," a "wild cat," or a "marten." Late Latin used the word felinus to describe something that belonged to a cat, or was like a cat, and that's where we get the current usage. (Thanks to the Online Etymology Dictionary.)

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