Monday, July 26, 2010

Version Numbers

I have reached the point where over half of my interpersonal communication is now done over e-mail. But there is one thing this electronic medium will *never* be able to replace - the human voice, with all its inflection, which imparts so much meaning to the simplest of words.

This lack of inflection and the meaning it can insinuate behind the words can lead to conflict in your Inbox. People can easily misunderstand what you meant to say. Well, help is on the way.

A company founded by a former salesman called ToneCheck is now offering software - free while it's in beta testing - that connects to Microsoft Outlook and will "analyze" each e-mail you compose for phrases that might come across as emotionally-charged to the reader.

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A GUIDE TO VERSION NUMBERS

1.0 - We've got a really great new way to do things.

2.0 - We pretty sure this works well, now.

2.1 - The attorneys made us change a few things.

3.0 - No, really, we've got all the bugs out now.

3.1 - We've now fixed bugs you wouldn't see in 27,000 years of using this software.

3.2 - This version fixes bugs we found in the last round of bug fixes.

4.0 - All right. This really *does* fix all the bugs.

4.1 - Except that one. That one really big one.

5.0 - This version is put out by an entirely new batch of developers after we fired the old group.

At this point, the product name is changed, three new features are added, and you have to go back about ten steps.


[Written by Mark Raymond; inspired by an old JokeMaster post]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: Tomorrow is "Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day." It's also "Walk on Stilts Day," but I recommend you try not to combine the two. Wednesday is "National Milk Chocolate Day," and Thursday is "Lasagna Day." And Friday, for those of you in tall buildings, is "Talk in an Elevator Day."

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