Friday, April 04, 2008

Intelligence Impairment

Well, some research by your fellow Mark's Musingites turned up the fact that the "human colony on Mars" idea from my Wednesday post was, indeed, an elaborate April Fool's Day prank by the owners of Google and Virgin Atlantic. Thanks to list member Matthew R. for looking into that initially.

So in "honor" of my not seeing through that...

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

STILL MORE WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS INTELLIGENCE-IMPAIRED

A few hairs short of a wig.

Three feathers short of being fluffy.

The dip stick doesn't reach the oil.

Sharp as a bubble.

Nice toy -- no batteries.

Up the creek and the water's dried up.

A few quacks short of a duck.

A few peas shy of having a casserole.

A couple trucks short of a convoy.

An experiment in artificial stupidity.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As quick as a tortoise on Prozac.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Doesn't have all the dots on her dice.

Forgot to pay the brain bill.

If brains were taxed, he'd get money back.

Couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if she had two guesses.

[inspired and selected from Mikey's Funnies with help from several websites; edits and rewrites by Mark Raymond]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

My second league fantasy baseball draft is Sunday so once again I will be having a wonderful weekend! I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

WEB SITE of the WEEK: Bowline, Clove Hitch, Englishman's Bend, Lark's Head, Sheepshank. These are all names for different types of knots. Those of you who were - or still are - Boy Scouts may remember those names. You can visit http://www.42brghtn.mistral.co.uk/knots/42ktmenu.html and not only see all those knots, you can watch an easy to view animation on how to tie them. Because you never know when tying a good thumb knot may come in handy.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mark's Musings is available via email each weekday and is a Habeas-certified spam free mailer. Subscribe, view past issues in the Archives, or help defray publishing costs - and yes, (sigh), *still* be the first to donate this year - at Mark's web site. To contact Mark, click here. To avoid dehydration, drink water (God's best invention). You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. Removing my credits is a sign of intelligence impairment. Original material and commentary © 2008 by Mark Raymond. This includes the fine print you're reading now. My personal mission statement is John 3:30. Play ball! Again!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." (Emerson M. Pugh)

No comments: