Thursday, August 13, 2009

Hospital Bills

Well, it's too early to say concretely, but it appears that a common over-the-counter household pain killer may also kill cancer cells in your colon.

Aspirin, take a bowel.

Bow. I meant bow.



Billed: Mass Calculation Instrument Depreciation.
Translation: As fat as you are, we're sure you took a good six months off the life of our weigh scale.

Billed: Chemical system transportation and delivery components.
Translation: Those little plastic cups that carry your pills.

Billed: Antibacterial oral dentifrice and applicator.
Translation: Toothpaste and toothbrush.

Billed: Oxygen, $120.
Translation: We just wanted to see if we could sneak this one past you.

Billed: Visible-range electromagnetic intensity modulation.
Translation: We turned the lights on and off.

Billed: Pulmonary Function Test.
Translation: You blew in a plastic tube. We watched to see how high the ping pong ball went.

Billed: CT Head Scan.
Translation: We didn't know what was wrong with you. We guessed brain cancer.

Billed: Rehydrating H2O receptacle with thermally-adjusted fluid.
Translation: That pitcher of water you requested.

Billed: Therapeutic intravenal blood clot disruptor.
Translation: Two aspirin.

[Chris White's Top Five on Medicine; formatted and edited by Mark Raymond]


WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)


Mark's Musings puts on a white smock and says "ahhh" to an RSS Feed and is also delivered by e-mail each weekday. Take two mouse clicks and get your very own subscription here! Then call me in the morning if you still haven't received anything. The Facebook interns can see every wing in the blog by clicking "View Original Post" just below.

No comments: