Hospital Bills

Well, it's too early to say concretely, but it appears that a common over-the-counter household pain killer may also kill cancer cells in your colon.

Aspirin, take a bowel.

Bow. I meant bow.

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WHAT YOUR HOSPITAL BILL REALLY MEANS

Billed: Mass Calculation Instrument Depreciation.
Translation: As fat as you are, we're sure you took a good six months off the life of our weigh scale.

Billed: Chemical system transportation and delivery components.
Translation: Those little plastic cups that carry your pills.

Billed: Antibacterial oral dentifrice and applicator.
Translation: Toothpaste and toothbrush.

Billed: Oxygen, $120.
Translation: We just wanted to see if we could sneak this one past you.

Billed: Visible-range electromagnetic intensity modulation.
Translation: We turned the lights on and off.

Billed: Pulmonary Function Test.
Translation: You blew in a plastic tube. We watched to see how high the ping pong ball went.

Billed: CT Head Scan.
Translation: We didn't know what was wrong with you. We guessed brain cancer.

Billed: Rehydrating H2O receptacle with thermally-adjusted fluid.
Translation: That pitcher of water you requested.

Billed: Therapeutic intravenal blood clot disruptor.
Translation: Two aspirin.

[Chris White's Top Five on Medicine; formatted and edited by Mark Raymond]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)

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