Mechanic Quips

So a couple of days ago, the "low battery" trouble light on my car's dashboard starts to wink at me, which is odd as I just had the battery replaced last Spring. But I'm hoping and praying I can make it to the weekend when I can get the problem fixed without disrupting family work and commuting schedules.

No such luck. Yesterday morning on my way to work, my CD player has a conniption fit, then dies. Then one or two other unrelated trouble lights on my dash light up. Now, mind you, the vehicle starts up just fine, and seems to run just fine, but the electrical system is going to need some serious work, so I plan on dropping it off today, about the time most of you will be reading this.

Only that plan bites the dust, too.

Last night, on my way home from work well after the sun has set, I'm driving about sixty miles per hour down one of our local expressways, when my dash lights begin to dim. Followed immediately by my headlights. It's dark, my car is hurtling down the road, and I can't see, nor can I be seen, really, as my car is a deep brown color. I take the first off ramp I can find and as I reach the end of it, the car begins to chug. I stop for the red light and it stalls out completely. Won't start. All the electricals are dead. Can't even turn on my hazard flashers.

Well, to make a long story even longer, it took me almost two hours and an expensive tow truck ride to make it home. And as I write this, I have no idea how much the whole deal is going to set me back.

Now may be a good time to send in that donation you've been thinking about.

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MECHANIC QUIPS

It may be time to get a new vehicle when the mechanic you most trust advises you to keep the oil and change the car.

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After picking up her car, Sally confided in the friend who had given her a ride to the shop that, "I was really nervous my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was incredibly relieved to find out my car just needed blinker fluid."

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A doctor once complained to his auto mechanic, "Your bills are always several dollars more per hour than I make as a doctor, and I had to go to school for four additional years!"

"Well, Doc," the mechanic replied, "it's like this: You pretty much get to work on the same model, year in and year out ... we have to keep up with one that changes every year!"

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When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimsley couldn't resist having a little fun.

"Bill," began the doctor, "I just want to tell you up front that we won't know how much this will cost until we get in there and find out what's wrong. And if anything needs to be replaced, well, it could take up to three days to get the parts."

[with thanks to Net 153's Smile A Day, Joe's Clean Laffs, Andychap's The_Funnies, and Clean Hewmor]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18)

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