Bean Soup

This Just In Dep't: Fellow list owner, list member, missionary, and all-around-good-guy Dave Aufrance reports an important new medical finding. Hydrogen Sulfide has been shown to reduce hypertension.

In laymen's terms, then: the stink in your farts helps keep your blood pressure low.

This is possibly the best news I've heard in years. No longer do we have to blame it on the dog. "Don't look at me like that, honey, I'm just staying healthy!"

And you thought I was kidding.

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Back in the 30s, Mrs. O'Malley arrived from Ireland and settled in Boston. In no time at all, her bean soup made her the talk of New England society.

At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, you simply *must* tell me the secret of your soup."

Mrs. O'Malley replied, "Faith and Begorrah, but 'tis a simple thing. The secret to me soup is that I use only and exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans to make it."

"But why only two hundred and thirty nine beans?"

"Because, lass, one more would make it too farty."

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I was shocked when I heard the fart emanate from the sugar bowl on my breakfast table. Honestly, from now on I'm only going to buy *refined* sugar.

[JokeMaster and Ruminations]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1)

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