Monday, April 11, 2011

More Monday Groaners

We saw Mom this weekend. She looks frail, spent, and ready for her promotion to the Afterlife. But she doesn't act like it, and the Hospice nurse says her vitals are strong, but she could have been putting up a brave front for family. So we will see what we will see, in the end.

Meanwhile, the weather here has been typically Michiganish. In the 40s on Friday, the 60s on Saturday, the 80s yesterday, back to the 60s today, and the forecast calls for dipping down into the 50s for the rest of the week.

No spotlight link for you today, sorry. (There are a few down below, though.) I did finish editing some of the marvelous photos my wife took of our trip to Chicago but ran out of time to upload them to my website and write captions. Look for them later this week.

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MORE MONDAY GROANERS

I knew of a baby born in France and raised only on goose liver spread. He was paté trained.

There was a real estate agent in our town who had trouble finding homes to sell. So he switched to selling undeveloped property. Now he has lots.

Some people are overweight in just their torso. Others carry extra pounds on their backside. Some bear fatty tissue on their arms and legs. It just goes to prove that the lard works in mysterious ways.

A pile of old bones was discovered in an abandoned lot. The police were called in and the coroner was tasked with figuring out who the bones belonged to and what had happened. Within a day the coroner reported that there was indeed *fowl* play. The bones all came from male turkeys - about six dozen of them - and they had perished from a deadly avian virus. Yes, they were 70 sick tom bones.


[selected from Jokemaster and retold by Mark Raymond]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: It's Irritable Bowel Syndrome Month. Really? It's National Poetry Month. It's National Inspirational News Week; try this. Check out National Library Week. Get it? Tomorrow is Be Kind to Lawyers Day. Tuesday is also Tax Freedom Day, the day when the average American has earned enough to pay annual tax obligations and the rest of what is made this year goes into his or her pocket.

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