Monday, June 23, 2008

Pregnant Men

Oh. Dear. This can't be good. It feels like the first step down a ver-r-ry slippery slope.

Japan, according to Reuters News, has created a robot "girlfriend" for lonely men.

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WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MEN GOT PREGNANT?

Choice of delivery/recovery room decor would also include NFL, NBA, NASCAR, or Bass World.

Ultrasound monitors would come in HD plasma wide screen and 5.1 surround sound.

Planned Parenthood elevated to cabinet-level office.

Instead of worrying about month-to-month weight gain, it would become a competition to see who could add the most.

The American Medical Association would pressure Congress to require that prenatal vitamins be added to Doritos, Oreos, and Beer.

Men would have the option of C-Sections finished up with baseball or football stitching.

Ads would say, "Please call your doctor if you experience labor pains lasting four hours or longer."

Delivery must be accomplished in thirty minutes or less, or the kid is free.

[selected, with family-friendly edits, from Chris White's Top Five on Medicine]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: My wife wanted to know about how the phrase "gave up the ghost" came to mean the death of something. We first have to understand that the very root of the word ghost began as "ghois" and meant something had excited and frightened you, in the sense of a supernatural being. Old English used the word "gast" in the sense of "soul, spirit, life, breath" and took some of the meaning from the Latin word "spiritus." The phrase was used at least as early as 1600, in the King James version of the Bible, in the book of Genesis, to describe someone dying. (Genesis 25:8 - "Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a good old age..." KJV) In the sense that now we attribute human characteristics to just about any old thing, your car radio could "give up the ghost."

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