Monday Groaners

My daughter spent most of her summer and autumn afternoons in a swimming pool as a member of her High School Swim Team. Which meant that every evening I'd come home to bathing suits, towels, and sundry other articles of clothing draped over the shower doors for drying.

Wouldn't it be nice if someone could invent clothing that didn't get wet?

Wish granted.

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YOUR MONDAY GROANERS

They don't make wooden cars, because too many of them wooden go.

My realtor found me a really cheap apartment. I asked him if that was the best he could find ... he told me it was the lease he could do.

Did the Vikings know Norse Code?

When I was a boy on my grandfather's dairy farm, we used special milking machines with large pails to milk the cows. Grandpa told me it was because one good urn deserves an udder.

If you get sick at the airport, is it a terminal illness?

I know a guy who never parks his car in the right spot. He suffers from parking zones disease.

There was once a Sea Scout Camp outside of Norfolk, Virginia, that was so close to the beach that dolphins would swim in close to shore during the evening and the scouts would enjoy tossing scraps out to them. By the end of the week the chef began announcing dinnertime by yelling, "It's meal time! For all in tents and porpoises!"

[JokeMaster, with plenty of edits by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Since I started off with wet stuff, I'll finish with it. What's a "quagmire" and where did the word come from? A quagmire is soft, swampy marsh land that is never firm and slips and slides while you walk through it. We use it to describe not only such ground conditions, but also social conditions when one has gotten him or herself into a shaky situation. As in, "Mark was drawn into a quagmire of commentary with his friends over his political beliefs." The word comes from Old English (cwacian, which gave us the word "quake") and old Norse "myrr," which was a swamp.

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