Computer Jargon

Researchers in the "Technology Enhanced Learning Group" at Britain's Durham University have just moved the real world one step closer to the world of Star Trek.

They've created an "interactive classroom" with a student desk you use like a touch-screen computer - though it looks a bit like Apple's iPhone or Sprint's new Instinct phone - and the teacher controls and coordinates the content.

The hot new theories in training and, indeed, any environment where learning needs to happen - including church and civic groups - are to move away from Instructor-led teaching to a much more interactive approach. The technology these desks provide facilitate that.

Best of all, the University is giving the software away to schools for free.

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MORE COMPUTER DEFINITIONS

BACKUP - The opposite of go forward.

BATCH PROCESSING - Making a lot of cookies all at once.

BIT - 12 1/2 cents.

BUFFER - Programmer who works in the nude.

BUG - An elusive creature living in a program, making it act in negative ways at odd times. Note that "debugging" or removing these bugs from a program ends when the programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are out.

CHARACTER DENSITY - The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space.

COMPUTER - A device used to speed and automate errors.

CONSOLE - What one does to a depressed computer or programmer.

CURSOR - An expert in bad language.

KEYBOARD - An instrument used for entering errors into the computer.

LANGUAGE - A system of organizing and interpreting error messages.

LOOP - See "LOOP."

MICROCOMPUTER - One millionth of a computer.

PASSWORD - That nonsense bit of letters and numbers taped to your terminal.

PERFORMANCE - The speed at which a computer works. Or might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working at about a month ago.

STRATEGY - A long range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime after those who created it have left the organization.

USER - Someone requiring some form of rehabilitation.

[selected from Annoyances.org]

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It's Homecoming Weekend for our local high school sports team, and my band plays on Sunday for a Youth Rally at a local campground. So we are, as always, busy once again, but in pleasant ways. May you enjoy your weekend as much.

I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: You know how Netflix works, right? For a set fee each month, you get to rent a certain number of DVDs, take as much time as you want to watch them, then ship them back for free to get your next one. Well, now there's a pretty similar service, only for magazines (that you get to keep). At http://www.maghound.com/, you pay a monthly fee and then choose which magazines you want to receive. You're only obligated for one issue of the magazine at a time, and there are nearly 250 from which to choose.

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Mark's Musings is still a Habeas-certified spam free mailer. Subscribe, view past issues in the Archives, and frolic all you want at my web site. To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. To leave a voicemail that will improve your chances of being called back, leave your number at the beginning of the message, not the end. That way, if the listener didn't get your number the first time, he or she won't have to listen to your entire message again to get it, and are more likely to do so You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. The credits have recently begun using a CPAP machine to help them sleep more soundly, but don't think they still don't know when they're being lopped off the post. Original material and commentary © 2008 by Mark Raymond. I update this blog with a copy of this post daily and occasionally toss in bonus material on the weekends. Look for the label that says "Weekend" and you can bring them all up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. Had a really bad dream last night.

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "Achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others for your achievements. That's nice but not nearly as important or as satisfying. Always aim for achievement, not success." (Helen Hayes, paraphrased)