Shakespeare Dogs

And continuing with animals this week, here's a product I just could not make up, suffers from an unfortunate name, and makes me wish I'd thought of it first.

You know how when you're out walking Rover (or Spot, or Fido, or whatever you call your dog), and he or she stops to "do a little business"? Well, the polite thing to do - and, indeed, in many places you'll break local ordinances if you don't - is pick up "the business" when your dog is done.

The makers of this product at one point said to themselves, "wouldn't this job be a lot easier if the poop was frozen solid?"

So they invented "Poop Freeze," an aerosol can of liquid coolant that chills your dog's waste to a negative 62 degrees within one minute. And it's yours for under $12.

And you thought I was kidding.

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IF SHAKESPEARE HAD BEEN A DOG...

"All the world's a fire hydrant."

Hamlet's famous monologue stops at "Aye, there's the rub..." for a few seconds of hind leg vibrations.

Instead of "Out, damned spot," Macbeth would now say, "Good boy! Who's a good boy?!"

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him -- hey, come back here with that!"

Marc Antony may have come to bury Caesar, but you can bet somebody's going to dig him right back up again.

"The Taming of the Shrew" now involves a choke collar and a rolled-up newspaper.

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark -- let's roll in it!"

[Chris White's Top Five on Pets with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Do the poker playing dogs own pictures of people playing fetch?

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