New Year's Quotations

This is it. The final page of our 2010 calendar. Some of you reading this have already moved into 2011, and those of us still here in the past year wish you well.

It's once again time for my annual report. On January 1, my list server e-mailed 568 copies of my Musings out to folks. Today I will electronically ship out 532. My hope is that my Facebook account and blog are making up for this drop, but I'm not yet up to speed on my Google Analytics to get those numbers.

You kind readers are located mostly in the U.S., but also in Nigeria, Australia, Iran, the United Kingdom, Singapore, Romania, Ireland, India, Canada, South Africa, Papua New Guinea, Belize, Finland, Germany, Malaysia, Thailand, New Zealand, the Philippines, Hong Kong, France, and those are just the countries I know about.

Whew.

I have no plans to make changes to what I do here in 2011, but I must warn you that the triple threat of the economy, my family's employment status, and the whims of Congress may force me to make some. I will keep you apprised, of course, as the situation unfolds.

As I've often said, the calendar - through the grace of God and whatever men or governments created it - gives us several times each year to put the past behind us and look forward with renewed hope to do better in life and vigor to accomplish new goals. January 1 is chief among those days. Your birthday is another. The end of the school year. The start of the school year. The first day of each season. You get the idea. My prayer is you take this opportunity to make a fresh start in whatever part of your life needs it, and may the best of this past year be the worst of your next year.

May God bless you, each and every one.

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NEW YEAR'S QUOTATIONS

"Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go." (Brooks Atkinson)

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." (Bill Vaughan)

"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average ... which means you've met your New Year's resolution." (Jay Leno)

"My new year's resolution is to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time." (James Agate)

"New Year's Day is every man's birthday." (Charles Lamb)

"New Year's Day. It is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." (Mark Twain)

"In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want." (Irish Toast)

[selected, with thanks, from about.com]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: The U.S. Forest Service is a part of the United States Department of Agriculture, which I did not know (I thought it was part of the Interior Dep't). They have begun an initiative to get ourselves and our kids away from our digital leashes at http://www.discovertheforest.org/. Lots of material for parents and activities for all are listed. I know for many it's winter, and a trek through the forest isn't high on your priorities, but bookmark this site and come back to it in the Spring.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Neighbors

Time Magazine has identified Ten New Money-Saving websites for your use.

For you folks who do a lot of home improvement stuff, DiggersList would be the one to check out.

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We were staying at a lovely country resort and became friendly with the inn's handyman during our stay. Toward the end of the vacation, he confided that his neighbor had a nice little cottage for sale at a reasonable price, if we liked the area.

We did, so we went to have a look at it and just fell in love with it, despite its run-down appearance. We bought the place "as is."

The day after we moved in, our handyman friend and new neighbor dropped by with a housewarming gift.

"You got a good buy, that's for sure," he said, "but the place does need some work, though. The roof leaks, the plumbing's shot, and the well tends to run dry in the summer."

Dismayed, I retorted, "Why didn't you tell us that *before* we bought it?"

"Weren't neighbors then," he replied.

[Da Mouse Tracks via Doc's Daily Chuckle]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, 'Of all the commandments, which is the most important?' 'The most important one,' answered Jesus, 'is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.' " (Mark 12:28-31)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Signs You've Overdone It

So as we move inevitably closer to New Year's Day - Saturday, my friends - here are five questions to help you make better resolutions.

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SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE OVERDONE IT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE

Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking fresh paint.

You devote an afternoon to spending quality time in your bathroom.

You would rather chew tacks than go outside.

Your spouse whispers "Good morning" and you reply, "I'm not going to talk to you until you stop yelling."

[selected from guy-sports.com w/heavy edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: My daughter wanted to know why we get goosebumps and why do we use that name. The answer to the second part of her question is easy: apparently when you pluck all the feathers off a goose, the resultant fleshy part looks like tiny little bumps all across the skin from stem to stern. Any type of fowl, actually, looks like that. We might as well call them chickenbumps, or duckbumps, which is actually a bit more fun to say. As to the reason, well, eHow has a pretty decent explanation.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Notre Dame vs. MSU

In the interest of time, just the joke today. Lots of links in yesterday's post.

This one's for all you football fans, as the season winds down and the playoffs approach.

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As a Catholic, I'm partial to Notre Dame football. As a former Michigan resident, though, I also keep tabs on Michigan college football teams. One Saturday afternoon, a neighbor dropped in while I was watching Notre Dame play Michigan State.

"Which team do you want to win?" he asked.

"Gosh, I don't know," I replied. "I'm kind of torn between Church and State."

[Robert A. Kozma in Reader's Digest Online]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings." (George F. Will)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Recession Resume

I hope your Christmas was wonderful and you loaded up with many happy memories. My wife returned from her long Florida jaunt just over a week ago and all is well here. We spent an intimate little Christmas Day with just our kids, and it was marvelous.

As we begin to put the finishing touches on Year 2010, here are 21 tips for making 2011 even better. And just about every tip has one or more links to other sites, so this should make up for ALL those days I skipped issuing a link.

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WHAT TO PUT ON THAT RESUMÉ
After several months of unemployment

Negotiated long-term acquisition and consumption of Cocoa Krispies.

Broadened personal knowledge of Internet memes.

Led efforts to reduce fingernails to the quick.

Compiled a database of daytime television hosts' favorite filler words.

Contributed 40% of Inbox spam to my friends' accounts.

Performed hourly appraisals of Craigslist postings.

Spearheaded a campaign to generate new bathtub rings.

Developed and implemented a strategy to hide employment status from potential dating partners.

Executed seventeen feats of long-format cinema critique.

Became skilled in obtaining short-term micro-loans from complete strangers.

[selected from McSweeney's with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: Though I personally don't know anyone who celebrates it, even among my African-American friends, we are in the midst of Kwanzaa, which you can read more about here. You may be happy to know that there will be no "leap second" added this year, so your timepieces will remain startlingly accurate or disappointingly not so much. Enjoy New Year's Eve on Friday ... ring in the new year happily and with as much hope as you can muster.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

With No Apologies to Clement Moore

My daughter finished up her Segment I driver training yesterday, which means I have once again pretty much become a passenger in my own vehicle. All part of the parenthood process.

And I apologize for the spotty e-mails recently. I've been working on a couple of long, tough projects to finish before Christmas and by the time I remember I still have a post to write, it's 10:00 at night! So I've just been updating the blog here. Check down below to catch up on anything you may have missed.

Finally ... Merry Christmas!

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CHRISTMAS POEM
By Pastor Zachary Bartels

'Twas 750 years before Christmas and all throughout Judah
There were idols aplenty (of Baal, not Buddha)

The Assyrian Empire was everywhere feared
Led by Tiglath-Pilesar, whose name was quite weird

King Ahaz had buckled like the belt on my khakis
And the great nation Judah became boot-licking lackeys

They abandoned the covenant and the God who had made them
And looked to Egypt for help, which had been ... umm ... forbaden.

Their enemies were mean, they were kickers and spitters
So the people lost hope, like a bunch of lame quitters

The Devil was happy; he was pleased! He was winning!
With the king a big wimp and the people all sinning

And so, without hope, they gave in to these Gentiles
As Isaiah had prophesied, a couple of exiles

The south off to Babylon, the North to Assyria
('fore that massive Diaspora from Spain to Siberia)

Could there be hope again for this covenant people?
It seems the Old Testament's in need of a sequel

For 400 years, not a peep from a prophet
God withheld the big bomb, not quite ready to drop it

Then about A.D. 1, God said, "Now, let's get to it
And reverse the great curse that came down when they blew it"

The arrangements all made and the stage all prepared
The Virgin conceived and the census declared

And up in the heavens, God let loose with his Spirit
(He doesn't say "Ho ho ho" -- when He laughs you feel it)

"On Raphael, on Michael, on Uriel, on Gabriel
Operation Immanuel will kick off in a stable"

Salvation is coming; Satan's curse is deleted
The people redeemed and the devil defeated

Old Satan was cooked -- with potatoes and gravy
How horribly embarrassing -- to be trounced by a baby

So into the darkness was born a great light
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night

[written by Pastor Zachary Bartels; used with his permission]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: Trent Hamm writes a blog called "The Simple Dollar," as well as two books. Both book and blog contain very practical and down-to-earth advice on finances, and how to simplify your life. Today I'm highlighting his December series, called "Out with the Old, In with the New." Begin at the bottom of the page, read up, and when you get to the top, go back to the bottom and click "Newer Posts." Then do it again.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

My Favorite Version: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Well, he's not much to look like, but he can croon a bit. This slow jazz flavor is not what my memory says it was - I remember a much more acoustic guitar version - but it'll do.

I had a post nearly ready to go when the last of my evening energy slipped through the fingers of my mind today ... so, another song. Please enjoy it.

Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

My Favorite Version: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Okay, so the video's not much to look at, but I l-o-o-o-ve this arrangement.

Perhaps - on nights like this - where I haven't got any time for a regular post, I'll share some of my favorite music.

Very acoustic. Quite contemporary. All good.



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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Red Cross

Welcome to winter, everyone. December 21. The Winter Solstice. The longest night of the year. Sorry this is out so late ... deadlines have kept me very occupied this week. In fact, yesterday I didn't even e-mail one, so be sure to check the post below for some more Christmas groaners.

According to the Farmer's Almanac, today is one of two times each year that the sun stands farthest from the equator. It actually appears to stand still, which is why it's called a "solstice." That's a combination of two words: sol, meaning sun, and stice is from stitium, which means "stoppage."

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It had been a hard winter in the Appalachians. The snow had piled up, deeper and deeper, the temperature dropped, rivers froze, and many people suffered. The Red Cross used helicopters to fly in emergency supplies and provide aid.

One crew had been working day after day, very long hours. They climbed back into their helicopter and were finally on their way home late one evening, when they saw a little cabin, nearly submerged in the snow, with a thin whisper of smoke coming from the chimney.

The team figured whoever was inside must have been about out of fuel, food, and perhaps needed some medical attention. So they decided to make one more stop. Because of the trees, they had to put down nearly a mile from the cabin. They put on heavy backpacks, full of supplies, grabbed their snow gear, and began trudging through the heavy snow, often waist deep, until they reached the cabin.

Using their small shovels, they dug out the doorway and exhausted, panting and perspiring, they pounded on the door.

When it was finally opened by a thin, gaunt older woman, the lead man gasped out, "We're from the Red Cross."

The woman looked at her rescuers, was silent for a moment, then said, "It's been a hard winter, Sonny, I just don't think I can give anything this year."

[Wit and Wisdom; retold by Mark Raymond]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring." (W.J. Vogel)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

More Christmas Groaners

Eep! Where has Monday gotten off to? I think it got lost amid the huge task list of items to be completed before Christmas.

Well, at least on the good news front, my wife is home, after being away for five weeks. I am a happy man.

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MORE CHRISTMAS GROANERS

I crossed an archer with a gift-wrapper. I got Ribbon Hood.

Mom: What do you want for dinner?
Son: I'd like Father Christmas stew.
Mom: I don't know how to make Father Christmas stew.
Son: Get him stuck in a chimney!

Kris Kringle became a private detective and decided to go by the name Santa Clues.

Patient: Doctor, I'm a Christmas kleptomaniac. I can't keep myself from stealing other people's Christmas gifts!
Doctor: Well, have this prescription filled, then take three of these pills every day. If they don't work after a week, come back and see me. And bring me a new video camera.

How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
Don't feed it.

I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one arm.
Yeah, but where are we going to find a reindeer with one arm?

I asked for a dog for Christmas, but my mother told me I'd be having turkey, just like everyone else.

What's black and white, has feathers, and writes?
A ball point penguin.

[selected from several websites and most rewritten by Mark Raymond]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: You can still celebrate Safe Toys and Gifts Month, take a swipe at Gluten-Free Baking Week, or enjoy Crossword Puzzle Day tomorrow, Christmas Day on Saturday, and Boxing Day - when household owners traditionally boxed up gifts for their servants and staff and presented them on the day after Christmas - is on Sunday.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Random Thoughts III - Last for 2010

Gotta believe you're overdue for another installment of these.

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RANDOM ACTS of THINKING
Part the Last

Ambiguity: What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.

An apple a day still leaves you 2-4 servings short of your daily fruit recommendation.

My daughter gave up dating; said she was going on a boycott.

Why does it take a properly prepared and primed surface to paint a wall, but if some spills onto the floor, it's there for life?

If a minister runs out of bread during Communion, is that considered an "out-of-Body" experience?

It's good to have self-confidence. It's better to have a reason for it.

My life story has a superb cast, but I'm still trying to figure out the plot.

You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving.

I had to stop driving my car for awhile. The tires got dizzy.

Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?

If a General is higher in rank than a Major, why is a major illness worse than a general illness?

Do cows have calf muscles?

Can bald people get a hairline fracture?

What do the French say when they use bad words? Pardon my English?

Why do we call the elderly old people but you never hear someone call kids new people?

Can a pig pull a hamstring?

[selected, stolen, swiped, swindled, snapped up, and snazzily copied from Mental Floss, Mikey's Funnies, Good Clean Funnies List, Stephen Wright, Sermon Fodder and the mind of Mark Raymond]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: If you're still doing some last minute online shopping (I did just before I finished up today's post), you can have a small percentage of your purchase donated to a charity by buying through http://www.endorseforacause.com/. If you don't see your favorite charity listed, you can nominate it.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

You Know It's Cold...

For your link today, check out the video I put up here yesterday, just down below. It's a quick take on what the Nativity might look like if it happened today.

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YOU KNOW IT'S COLD WHEN...

...politicians have their hands in their *own* pockets.

...you buy ice cream at lunch and can leave it in your car until you get home that evening.

...your hot chocolate is a fudgesicle before you finish drinking it.

...you have to open the refrigerator to heat the house.

...you have to go up and break the smoke off the chimney.

...when the ducks are *walking* on the water.

...the snowman begs you to take him inside at night.

...your false teeth chatter, and they're still in the glass.

[selected from a Reader's Digest Facebook status stream]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease." (Genesis 8:22)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

The Digital Nativity

I have to say that this made me chuckle right out loud several times.

What would The Nativity look like if it happened today?



And, might I add, the *truth* remains the same, as well.

Everyday Items Trivia Quiz

And so this is the way of things. We were enjoying a mild, unsuspecting December when the storm hit. It began with rain, then as the temperature dropped, it turned to sleet, providing a lovely foundation of ice on the roads. Then the mercury in the thermometer fell a few more degrees and it snowed. Only about 3-6 inches, which is hardly anything in some parts of the continent. But it was enough.

The snowplows were awoken from their long summer of slumber and dutifully cleared the snow away, but that left the ice. So the salt trucks then made their rounds, and the ice began to melt. Ah, but this storm had one more trick to play. The temperature then plummeted to single digits with sub-zero wind chill, freezing all the melted ice and leaving a *double* layer of icy treachery on the roads. Large tractor-trailer trucks could not even make it up hills. Highways were closed. Byways were closed. Schools were closed.

Even now, two days later, braking is problematic and schools are still closed. The storm has created lots and lots of work for insurance claim adjusters, auto body repair shops, emergency medical personnel, and mechanics fixing anti-lock brakes. And this is how living in Michigan helps our economy. And this was really just a small storm. You hope it's not a harbinger for the rest of the season.

Meanwhile, for your Tuesday link, here's 15 things you've probably gotten wrong.

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EVERYDAY ITEMS QUIZ

1. On the United States flag, what color is the top stripe?

2. Whose face is on a dime?

3. How many sides does a Stop sign have?

4. Are a book's even-numbered pages on the left or on the right?

5. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

6. On the back of a $1.00 bill, what is in the center?

7. How many curves in a standard paper clip?

[Answers at the very bottom of post]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home." (Edith Sitwell)

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Answers: 1. Red - 2. Roosevelt - 3. Eight - 4. Left - 5. Five - 6. The word ONE - 7. Three 1. Red - 2. Roosevelt - 3. Eight - 4. Left - 5. Five - 6. The word ONE - 7. Three

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Mystery Shopper

The "Winter Without Wife" continues this week, but the end is in sight. She has a plane ticket home for this Sunday. Yay! Whether or not she'll have to return to Florida after Christmas depends upon a few things that will hopefully be resolved this week.

Meanwhile, here's 27 gift ideas from Reader's Digest for Monday's daily link.

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As a secret shopper for a large department store chain, my sister made purchases at their various outlets and then reported back her findings on how she was treated by the staff.

After a few weeks, I asked her if she was enjoying her job.

"I love it!" she replied. "I'm getting paid to do two of my favorite things ... buy stuff and criticize people!"

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: It's National Tie Month, Wednesday is Bill of Rights Day, and I know some of you will enjoy the fact that Thursday is Chocolate-Covered Anything Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

More Musical Terms Defined

Erg. Getting late. Better do just a joke today.

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MORE MUSICAL TERM DEFINITIONS

Allegro: Leg Fertilizer

Counterpoint: A favorite device of many Baroque composers, all of whom are dead, though no direct connection between these two facts has been established. Counterpoint is still taught in many schools, as a form of punishment.

Discord: Not to be confused with datcord.

Gregorian Chant: A way of singing in unison, invented by monks to hide snoring.

Trill: The musical equivalent of an epileptic seizure.

Virtuoso: A musician with very high morals.

[ahajokes with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: I have a pretty good head for details. Which is one reason my greatest fear is Alzheimer's Disease. Well, list member Lavonne T. did much to allay that fear when she forwarded me a link to http://www.freebrainagegames.com/. There are about half a dozen simple tests you can do and then your "brain age" is summarized. If the number is lower than your age, you're probably in good shape, though the site is quick to say its results are not necessarily to be taken seriously and only with good health and nutrition and etc., etc., etc. So, anyway, I supposedly have the brain of a person 22 years younger than myself. (I keep it in a jar next to my computer.)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Random Christmas Thoughts

I spent some quality time with my daughter last night and didn't get around to e-mailing a post out to you. It is here just down below, however, so I hope you take a quick moment to read it.

If you have some friends who aren't close enough to send a *real* Christmas card - acquaintances and coworkers, perhaps, you know who I mean - but you'd like to send them just a little something to keep the relationship fresh, try one of these e-cards for Christmas built by and for Fidelity Investments. They are short, clever, and the upside is that by doing so, Fidelity donates $1.00 to public schools for the purchase of musical instruments.

Last December Bonnie and I bought several boxes of Christmas cards that were on sale after the holidays so we could send them out this season.

Now, if I could only find them....

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CHRISTMAS RANDOM ACTS of THINKING

Christmas is that time of year when you exchange hellos with strangers, and good buys with friends.

Some people put so many lights on their house you're not sure if they're celebrating the birth of Christ or the birth of General Electric.

Christmas is that time of year when everyone gets so Santamental.

I know, I know. "It's the thought that counts." But gee, couldn't people think a little bigger?

While Christmas is in our hearts one month a year, VISA makes sure we're reminded of it the other eleven months.

They have so many creative things on the market this year! I just saw "Neurotic Barbie." It comes already wound up.

Back in my day, we didn't have a Christmas tree. We had a Christmas stump.

Overheard in the hobby shop store: "That's a great Star Trek set. I'll take it!" Clerk says, "Very good, sir, your son will love it." Dad replies, "Hmmm, maybe you're right. I better get two!"

[selected with my thanks from Ed Peacher's Laughter for a Saturday; some editing by yours truly]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned." (Isaiah 9:2)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Car Recall

If you drive a silver vehicle, you are driving the most popular vehicular color in the entire world.

So says DuPont.

Here in North America, it's white, black, silver, gray, and red.

I drive a brown car. For whatever that tells you about me.

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SIGNS YOUR MODEL OF CAR IS ABOUT TO BE RECALLED

Snopes can't keep up with the number of urban legends building up around it.

You just whistle a high-pitched "cheep, cheep" sound and all the doors unlock.

After you press the "CD Eject Button" you have to go look for your wife. And hope the 'chute deployed.

To describe the problem to your mechanic, you have to do a combination of noises and interpretive dance.

The National Traffic Safety Board has assigned you a personal investigator.

Your 16-year old - who just got her license - refuses to drive it.

The owners manual describes emergency braking with an illustration of Fred Flintstone.

[selected from Chris White's Top Five on Travel with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: In the early development of our language, wegh meant to go. When the Latins came around, it became vehere, which meant "to carry." When you put the load into something, that thing was called a vehiculum, which was a "means of transport." And now you know how the word "vehicle" got here.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Basilica Tour

Ran across an interesting story recently about the Russian military blowing up their weapons. Literally.

Which was followed closely by this story about street artist Joshua Allen Harris. I put his video here, as well (see below).

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On a Spring Break trip, a group from our college had gone to Italy. One day we were standing just inside St. Peter's Basilica, the second largest church in the world.

The guide explained, "To put it in American terms, this church is so large that no man on earth, living or historical, could hit a baseball from one end to the other. Not Mark McGwire, not Henry Aaron, not even Babe Ruth."

My group stared in wonder for a few quiet moments at the beautiful marble sculptures, intricate paintings, and glorious mosaics all around the enormous structure.

Then a small voice in the back said, "You mean they actually let you hit baseballs in here?"

[Joe's Clean Laffs]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better." (André Gide)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

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The promised video, please forgive the 30-second ad. Can't be helped.

Tree Shopping

As my daughter and I prepare for another week without Mom, the snow is falling outside and our thoughts are increasingly turning toward Christmas. Perhaps it's time to decorate the tree we put up after Thanksgiving.

Speaking of Christmas, enjoy this site, from England, all about Christmas, including the Christmas story told in contemporary measures, and something they call the "Natwivity" which is meant to be a clever blend of Nativity and Twitter.

I like this recent Tweet: "Shepherd: I have an Old English Sheepdog, which is odd, given I'm in Bethlehem. He's had a big commute."

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After searching high and low for a Christmas tree, my husband Norm and I finally found one we liked.

That was when I spotted a woman nearby, holding up and inspecting the "perfect" tree. How could we have missed it? Even as we gathered up our tree and began making our way to the checkout stand, I kept an eye on the other woman, and watched as she carried it around the lot. Suddenly, she set it aside and started looking at other trees, clearly no longer interested in that one. I couldn't believe my eyes!

I ditched ours and quickly ran over to grab the coveted tree. As we made our way back to the checkout stand, I said to Norm, "That was a stroke of luck. I can't believe she didn't want this tree. It's perfect!"

"Not to her," Norm replied. "She just ran over and snatched up the one we had."

[Good Clean Funnies List]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: Hey, it's December! It's World Aids Month, we're in the midst of Cookie Cutter Week, and today is Saint Nicholas Day, celebrated by many cultures around the world. Tomorrow is, of course, Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, and Friday is Dewey Decimal System Day, and Nobel Prize Day.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Not the Rules

Well, my daughter finally starts her driver training Segment I class on Monday. So now would be a good time to make sure your insurance premiums are paid up.

Oh, it's all right. She said I could say that.

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DESPITE WHAT YOU SEE, THESE ARE *NOT* THE RULES OF THE ROAD

Turn signals will give away your next move. Never use them to maintain the element of surprise.

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you. This space will just be filled in by another car, creating a hazard, and you'll have to slow down to create another safe space, which will be filled in by another car and you'll have to slow down again and you will NEVER reach your destination on time.

Crossing more than one lane at a time marks you as an expert driver and feels dangerously cool.

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of being hit.

Never get in the way of an older model car that needs extensive body work.

Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible, forcing the anti-lock brake system to kick in so the pulsating brake pedal will give you a foot massage. If you don't have ABS, it's an opportunity to stretch your leg nicely.

Electronic traffic warning signs are only there to distract you from the nearby police car clocking you on radar. Pay them no attention.

Speed limits are only suggestions and are to be ignored during rush hour.

Throwing litter on the roads adds a touch of color to the landscape and keeps Adopt-A-Highway teams and minimum security prisoners occupied.

It is assumed that police cars traveling at a high speed - especially with their sirens on - may be followed safely, allowing you to make up for time lost by constantly slowing down to achieve a safe zone between you and the car in front of you.

Heavy fog, snow, wind, or rain make no difference to the above rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring employment for auto body shops, junkyards, and car salespeople.

[selected from joke email.com with heavy edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: So, yeah. While I'm proud "my little girl" has reached this milestone in her life, I am also, as a father, terrified for her safety. Each day eleven teenagers are killed on America's roads. http://www.facebook.com/save11 is set up to gather support for the STANDUP act, which is an acronym for "Safe Teen And Novice Driver Uniform Protection" which would require states to pass and enforce minimum standards for graduated driver licensing programs. If your Congressperson isn't signed on to sponsor this Act, use the site tools to encourage them. Allstate Insurance is the corporate sponsor for the site, in the interest of full disclosure.

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.

Rejected TSA Slogans

Well, what was supposed to be a one week trip for my wife to help get her parents to Florida will have turned into a month or longer due to her stepfather's medical issues. In fact, we are now even investigating the possibility of flying the family down to see her on Christmas weekend, pending the results of another pair of her stepdad's doctor's appointments, because she may need to stay into January.

I'm just grateful my daughter is now so capable with helping me around the house, picking up much of the work Bonnie normally does and allowing me to continue my extracurricular projects, such as this post and several others to which I've vaguely referred recently.

To help with your family's organizational needs, try the free family calendar - that can be edited by any family member and is also available via any Internet-connected mobile device - at Cozi. They also have shopping and to-do lists, all free. Once you sign up, you can even create a family website.

Meanwhile, I've been busy checking out flights and travel arrangements and I've realized that sooner or later one of us will be bumping up against the new TSA (Transportation Security Administration) regulations and scanners.

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REJECTED SLOGANS FOR THE TSA

Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.

Grope discounts available.

We rub you the wrong way so you can be on your way.

If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.

It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.

Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.

[submitted by list member Pierre L.]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." (Proverbs 19:14)

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Mark's Musings is available via an RSS Feed, a Facebook Note, the Amazon Kindle and via e-mail each weekday (usually). Subscriptions are free. ISSN 2154-9761.