Recession Resume

I hope your Christmas was wonderful and you loaded up with many happy memories. My wife returned from her long Florida jaunt just over a week ago and all is well here. We spent an intimate little Christmas Day with just our kids, and it was marvelous.

As we begin to put the finishing touches on Year 2010, here are 21 tips for making 2011 even better. And just about every tip has one or more links to other sites, so this should make up for ALL those days I skipped issuing a link.

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WHAT TO PUT ON THAT RESUMÉ
After several months of unemployment

Negotiated long-term acquisition and consumption of Cocoa Krispies.

Broadened personal knowledge of Internet memes.

Led efforts to reduce fingernails to the quick.

Compiled a database of daytime television hosts' favorite filler words.

Contributed 40% of Inbox spam to my friends' accounts.

Performed hourly appraisals of Craigslist postings.

Spearheaded a campaign to generate new bathtub rings.

Developed and implemented a strategy to hide employment status from potential dating partners.

Executed seventeen feats of long-format cinema critique.

Became skilled in obtaining short-term micro-loans from complete strangers.

[selected from McSweeney's with edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: Though I personally don't know anyone who celebrates it, even among my African-American friends, we are in the midst of Kwanzaa, which you can read more about here. You may be happy to know that there will be no "leap second" added this year, so your timepieces will remain startlingly accurate or disappointingly not so much. Enjoy New Year's Eve on Friday ... ring in the new year happily and with as much hope as you can muster.

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