Monday Groaners

Hey, thanks for letting me back into your Inbox! I've worked on a few "upgrades" over the last couple of weeks, so what's new around here?

The daily e-mails look more like the blog here, and I've joined the Twitter gang. During one of those conferences I told you about yesterday, I learned about social media and decided it was time. Facebook will be where I share thoughts, photos, bits of Scripture, snatches of lyrics, and personal activities. Twitter I will pretty much restrict to the occasional random thought or web link.

You'll notice some new "kickers" at the bottom of the post. Gone is Wednesday's "Wonder for Your Week," replaced by Monday's "Word for Your Week." Today is the debut of "Welcome to Your Week," which is a quick look at items our nation is celebrating, commemorating, or otherwise calling to your attention.

Finally, I have been officially recognized by the United States Library of Congress as a digital periodical, and I have been issued my ISSN, which has to appear on every post.

I must be doing something right, because last time I checked, when you Google "Mark's Musings," I come up as the number one search result. And in the online world, that's a pretty big deal.

It's a good birthday gift. Hey, did I mention it's my birthday? Remind me to share sometime why this is an emotionally pivotal year for me.

But okay, enough about me. On with the laughs. Because I know you must have missed them, here's....

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YOUR MONDAY GROANERS

News lead: "City officials say sewer repairs are going well, but are holding their breath until they are fully completed."

I know a girl who only dates during wet weather. She loves seeing a rain beau.

Did Rhett Butler have Scarlett fever?

My grandfather once got paid to quit smoking. He loved it. Said it was a kick-butt job.

Then there was the time when famed pantomime artist Marcel Marceau purchased a seafood restaurant in Bangor, Maine. They were known for their signature dish, filet of sole. Customers came from all over the country to enjoy both the food and the greeting given - mimed, of course - by the owner. In fact, all the employees became skilled in the art of pantomime. A sign over the kitchen doors proclaimed, "These are the mimes that fry Maine's soles."

The other day my wife sat at the kitchen table, looking bleary-eyed and haggard while she stared into her cup of coffee. I asked what was wrong and she replied, "Morning sickness." Shocked, I asked her when she had found out she was pregnant. "What?" she exclaimed. "I'm not pregnant! I'm just sick of mornings!"

[JokeMaster]

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WELCOME to YOUR WEEK: It's National ... Nursing Home Week, Police Week, Return to Work Week (how fitting is that?), Women's Health Week, Reading is Fun Week, and Salute to Moms Over 35 Week. And today is Windmill Day. Have a tilt at one.

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