Valentine's Groaners

Okay, Valentine's Day is coming up and rather than wait until the last minute, I thought I'd give you a few days to order something special for that special someone.

Reader's Digest has "10 Gifts You'll Love to Give" to your dog, your spouse, your best friend, etc. They run from just a few dollars all the way in to the hundreds.

Of course, I can't get any of these as a surprise for my own wife, as she receives this post. So if you have any inexpensive yet original and, of course, incredibly romantic ideas for what a busy man can get for the wife who does everything - but is still not feeling so well - let me know.

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VALENTINE GROANERS

If you give someone a really small Valentine's Day card, that's called a "Valentiny."

I told you about the painter who was in love, didn't I? He loved a girl with all his art.

So what's a good gift for the man who loves his car this time of year? A Valenshine!

Two boat oars went out on a date. They dined and wined and were very row-mantic.

I saw a pig give a box of chocolates to another pig. Apparently it was Valenswine's Day.

What did one pickle say to the other on Valentine's Day? "You mean a great dill to me."

Why do valentine's come in the shape of a heart?
Because a spleen would be pretty gross!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy a kiss?

[from Mikey's Funnies, JokeMaster, and the mind of Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: The Arabic word al-qubba meant "the vault" ... the Spanish called it "alcoba" and English uses the French version: Alcove. An alcove is a small recess in a wall or a small secluded space connected to a room.

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