Schwartz and Feldman

So, the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009" has been signed into law and we have just borrowed $787 *billion* from our children's future to help pull us out of a nasty recession.

You can, theoretically, download the entire 999-page bill with its 485 amendments in two parts ("Appropriations" and "Tax Provisions") here, though the links weren't working so well when I tried last night. I did find some of the 400+ Comments on the bill somewhat, umm, stimulating, however.

Another, more interactive tool to try and wrap your head around where this gargantuan chunk of money is going can be found here.

If you want to know the WIIFM (What's In It For Me), check out the H & R Block spin here.

And, of course, if you have no interest in any of this stuff, just read the joke and close your browser.

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Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had just suffered through their worst season ever. 8,000 Madras sports coats were hanging on racks in their warehouse, unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer each day.

Out of the blue, in walks a buyer from Australia. "G'day," he begins, "you blokes wouldn't happen to have any Madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere."

Schwartz says he MIGHT have a few left, he'd have to check the warehouse. Well, to make a long story short, before long a deal was struck to ship all 8,000 coats to Australia at a handsome profit.

But before he left, the Australian buyer says, "There is just one thing. For an order this large, I'll have to get confirmation from my home office in Sydney. I don't anticipate any problems, though, so unless you hear from me by Friday, plan on shipping the coats as we agreed."

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with both partners nervously wondering if the Australians would cancel their order and ruin the business. Friday arrives. The morning passes without incident.

The afternoon drags on, but finally the partners allow themselves a little hope as they begin to close up shop late in the day. Five minutes before closing, however, the door opens and a messenger arrives, shouting, "Telegram!"

The partners froze. In a cold sweat and trembling, Feldman takes the telegram and opens it. Fearing the worst, his eyes slowly scan the words ... then his face lights up and with a beaming smile he shouts, "Schwartz! GREAT NEWS! It's just your brother! He's had a heart attack!"

[Pastor Tim's Pearly Gates]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: If every nation in the world is in debt ... where did all that money go?

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