Friday, August 27, 2010

Alternative Definitions

I'm happy to announce that Scrabble® lovers can now use words such as "turducken," "defriend," and "vuvuzela" in your game playing, because the folks at the Oxford Dictionary have added those and more than 2,000 others to their latest edition: The New Oxford American Dictionary.



LECTURE: The art of transferring information from the notes of the one lecturing to the notes of the listeners - usually students - without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.

COMPROMISE: The art of slicing a cake in such a way everyone believes they received the biggest piece.

TEARS: The force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

CLASSIC NOVEL: A book which people praise, but seldom read.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after a strenuous night at home.

ETC.: An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.

FATHER: The banker that nature provides.

CRIMINAL: A person who is different from the rest of us only due to the fact he or she was caught.

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills with pills but kills you with his bills.

[Colorado Comments; edited by Mark Raymond]


WEBSITE of the WEEK: Tomorrow is International Read Comics In Public Day, and I urge you to do so. Comics are certainly still considered "low brow," but they encourage literacy in children, are an excellent way for missionaries to get the Gospel into the hands of people in foreign countries, and are cheaper than the movies while often providing some of the same thrills. So find a bench at the mall or a local park, and enjoy some sequential art. Read more about it at You can find several "meet up" sites in a few large cities at the website.


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