What with my sabbatical and all, I know you're long overdue for some random thinking.
Which, by the way, you can get on a pretty regular basis by checking my Twitter account.
RANDOM ACTS of THINKING
Part the Second
My first year in college I was a five-letter man. Those letters were F-L-U-N-K.
I was in the restroom of a popular restaurant and I noticed that someone had written, "What Would Jesus Do?" on the wall. Below that another person wrote, "Wash His Hands." And below that a third person had scribbled, "And Your Feet."
My plumber said he couldn't put in the bathroom fixtures until next month. That's a shower stall if I've ever heard one.
I ran across a new diet plan that was so good it promised to take my breadth away.
I saw an online ad: "For Sale - One York Peppermint Patty. Mint Condition."
A friend of mine walked into a bar and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like my friend.
If God had a favorite dog food, I bet it would be IAMS.
Is it possible to say Worcestershire Sauce and not sound like you need to take a breathalyzer?
I knew a plumber who became a shoe salesman. For the life of him, he couldn't sell anyone clogs, though.
When it comes to telling people how old she is, my wife is shy ... about ten years shy, usually.
My jeans have gone from relaxed fit to just plain lazy.
I watched the finale of "Lost." The title was fitting, because that's how it left me.
Let's see, my credit is shot and no one will lend me a dime ... hey! I'm financially independent!
[found, finagled, financed, frightened, fought, and brought forth from Net 153's Smile A Day, Mikey's Funnies, Bob Thave's Frank & Ernest, Cassatt & Brookins' Shoe, Top Greetings, Jim Gaffigan, Glenn & Gary McCoy, and the mind of Mark Raymond]
WEBSITE of the WEEK: When you own a pair of used "treasures" such as the two vehicles we lovingly call part of our family, you find yourself visiting http://repairpal.com/ often. Get an idea of what repairs and routine service will cost, find a reliable repair shop if you live near a big city, get general information about your car (or a prospective car), and keep track of your repairs and routine service.