The TV

Although his birthday was last Thursday, today is the day we have chosen to nationally celebrate Martin Luther King, Junior's birthday. Government employees, bank workers, and what's left of our auto industry probably have today off.

It's also the 200^th birthday of Edgar Allan Poe (Postal Service releases stamp honoring him). He was a minor writer and social critic until his poem, "The Raven" was published in the New York Evening Mirror in 1845. Then he became an "overnight" celebrity and children would follow him down the street shouting, "Nevermore! Nevermore!"

So I decided to take my own swipe at this classic, skewed for a slightly different subject, and abridged so as not to bore you too much.

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THE TV
"Paid Programming"

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I sat there weak and weary,
Watching many a quaint and tired episode of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly dreaming, suddenly there came a screaming,
As if of someone yelling, selling items from a store.
" 'Tis some sad commercial, and the salesman's a bore"
Was what I muttered, sore.

Presently my ire grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your sales pitch I deplore;
But the fact is I was dreaming, and so loudly you came screaming,
And with your scheming you disturbed my slumber's gladsome snore,"
I spoke right at the TV - here I looked upon the floor -
The remote to find, and end his store.

But the TV, sitting lonely, in the dusty corner only
Kept on slamming, slamming me with paid programming.
A respite I did yearn, but to each new channel that I turned,
Was yet another salesman, scamming,
Selling, screaming, dancing, shamming,
To my ears my fists flew, damming.

And the TV, unrelenting, hawks its wares of new inventing,
No matter how much I sit venting words of lowly scoff.
To my bed I think of going, if I can't find one channel showing,
Something else; I'll watch e'en a rerun of pig at trough.
But finally I stand, shake my head and give a cough.
Touch the remote, and turn it off.

[written by Mark Raymond w/apologies to Edgar Allan Poe; copyright 2009]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: With a tip o'the Mark's Musings cap to Rob Kyff, "The Word Guy," let's look at how the adverb "only" can change the meaning of a sentence depending upon where it's placed:

Only I poked him in his eye with my stick.
I only poked him in his eye with my stick.
I poked only him in his eye with my stick.
I poked him only in his eye with my stick.
I poked him in his only eye with my stick.
I poked him in his eye only with my stick.
I poked him in his eye with my only stick.
I poked him in his eye with my stick only.

So use your "only" choices carefully, pilgrims.

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