Groaner Day

A WEB PAGE JUST FOR YOU: If your Flash or Shockwave Player is not updated - or installed at all - it has come to my attention that you would not have been able to view the movie schedule at the Turner Classic Movies site I recommended yesterday. So I created a page on my website for you to download the file here. I'm not providing any other links to that page from anywhere else on my site (at least until I need to), so don't delete this post until you've grabbed that schedule.

Lots going on at this end of the swamp and it's already past midnight, so that means another....

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GROANER DAY

Nothing can replace a bikini ... and often does!

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you can afford.

I was studying chemistry in college but after about six weeks I was out of my element.

If we looted our local pharmacy, would they call it pillaging?

How does a bee get to school?
School buzz.

Down at the railroad yard, they can always hear when the locomotive has a problem. They have engine ears.

What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!

Of all the fruits he could have eaten, do you think Noah enjoyed pears the most?

So a woman walks into a pet store and says, "I'd like a kitten but I haven't got much money. I'm wondering if you have any kittens you'll let go cheap?" Pet store owner replies, "I'd let them, ma'am, but they prefer to meow."

I heard of a young lady at my office who accidentally spilled her birth control pills into the copier while changing the toner ... now we can't get it to reproduce anything.

[with thanks to JokeMaster; edits and arrangements by Mark Raymond]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Jesus called the Twelve and said, 'If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.' " (Mark 9:35)

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