Friday, January 23, 2009

Retiree Q & A

For one reason or another, I've had three days off work this week but I'm headed back as most of you read these words this morning. It's always tough to establish a rhythm and routine when you work infrequently like that.

But don't get me wrong, I've mostly enjoyed the time off. Except for the one day I was sick. Didn't enjoy that. But it does make me look forward to retirement.



Q. When you're retired, how do you know which day of the week it is?
A. That's easy. Six Saturdays, one Sunday.

Q. When does a retiree go to bed?
A. Three hours after falling asleep on the couch.

Q. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day to do it.

Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. Not enough time to get everything done.

Q. Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
A. Because at this stage of life that word carries a 10% discount.

Q. Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
A. Shoes you have to tie.

Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They're the only ones who have the time to do it.

Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the attic/basement/garage?
A. Because they know as soon as they do, one of their children or grandchildren will want to live there or store their own stuff there.

Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal.

Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school when you retire?
A. If you cut class, no one can call your parents.

Q. Why does a retiree say he or she doesn't miss the work, but misses the people he or she used to work with?
A. The retiree is just too polite to tell the whole truth.


A brief conversation with a retired person:

Me: "So what are you doing today?"
Retiree: "Nothing."
Me: "I thought you did that yesterday."
Retiree: "Yeah, but I wasn't finished."

[with thanks to Dave and Barbara at Clean Hewmor; additional material and edits by Mark Raymond]


I'm facilitating another meeting tomorrow, but the rest of the weekend should be quiet and enjoyable. May your way be as peaceful. I'll see you on Monday.



WEB SITE of the WEEK: With a tip o'the Mark's Musings cap to Mark Hurst and his "Good Experience" blog (hmm, must be something special about those guys named Mark), this week I'm recommending It's a free teaching program you download to your desktop. If you spend more than just a few minutes at a time on your computer, the program - through the periodic display of "flash cards" - can help you learn a new language, some basic math, chemistry, software languages, cooking, history ... and a whole array of other subjects is just waiting to be programmed. I'd get it while it's all still free.


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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible." (Alfred A. Knopf)

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