The Patch

I don't know whether to file this under "citizen heroism" or "criminal stupidity." Probably both.

Erin Vanmatre, of Pennsylvania, must have thought she had an easy score: 71-year old Harry Kopenis and his wheelchair-bound friend Kevin Lamb were at an ATM withdrawing some cash. Erin grabbed the $100 cash, knocked Harry down and took off.

What she didn't count on was that Harry would get up. And then chase her. And then catch her.

He tackled her in the bank's parking lot and Kevin rode up in his wheelchair to lend a hand in subduing her.

The kicker? Harry had suffered a stroke five years ago.

The moral of the story is don't ever think you're too old or too disabled to go beyond the boundaries you've set for yourself.

The news story is here.

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So these three guys are driving around, guzzling down too many adult beverages and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

Suddenly the guy in the backseat notices a police cruiser is behind them with lights flashing, obviously wanting them to pull over.

"Oh no!" he shouts. "What are we going to do with all these bottles?"

The driver says, "No, it's okay, don't worry. Just peel the label off and slap it on your forehead. Quick!"

The police officer walks up and states, "You lads were swerving all over the road and yelling at some of our fine citizens. Have you boys been drinking?"

"Not us, officer" says the driver, and points to the label stuck on his forehead. "We're trying to give that up, see? We're on the patch!"

[with thanks to comedy-zone.net]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?" (Ecclesiastes 2:24)

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