Firemen Observations

It's the last day of June. Back in my younger years, I would always call someone at midnight today and wish them a Happy New Fiscal Year.

We're also halfway through the Major League Baseball season. How's your team doing? One of my fantasy teams seems to be on its way to first place while the other appears destined to finish dead last, which is something that's never happened to me in the 20 years I've been playing this game. I'm breaking into a cold sweat just thinking about it.

But on with the post. Here's something ironic from the Fire Fighting News folks: a truck in Lancaster Township, Pennsylvania caught fire this past weekend. The ironic part? It belonged to a company that specializes in fire safety and was full of fire extinguishers.

Really.

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REAL WORLD FIREMEN OBSERVATIONS

The size of a firefighter's eyes at a raging inferno is directly proportionate to the number of years he has been a firefighter.

Air goes in and out; blood goes round and round. Any variation on these themes is a bad thing.

When dealing with patients, supervisors, or members of the public, if it felt good saying it, it was probably the wrong thing to say.

If the child goes quiet, move faster.

Never get into a Fire Appliance with someone braver than you are.

A patient's weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in the building.

If you respond to a motor vehicle accident after midnight and don't find a drunk, keep looking. You've missed a patient.

Never get excited by the sight of blood unless it's your own.

People don't call for firemen because they did something right.

[selected from the Cheshire Volunteer Fire Department website with heavy editing by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: We've probably all heard someone say they had a "senior moment," where they've briefly forgotten something that turned into an embarrassing moment. It's a reference to the dementia that will sometimes tragically set in as our brains age. Well, now The Word Spy is coining the phrase, "Junior Moment," which they define as a momentary lapse into immaturity, nervousness, or a folly brought on by youth or inexperience. So there, balance has been restored in the world of behavioral adjectivology.

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