Bad Seats

It's my annual fantasy baseball weekend, where two of my three teams will hold their all day drafts and auctions. This year I'm pretty much flying by the seat of my pants as I haven't had time to do my usual player research, so we'll see how much baseball lore and knowledge I've soaked up over the years. Should be fun!

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SIGNS YOU'VE GOT LOUSY SEATS AT THAT SPORTING EVENT

The guy selling concessions in your section is a Sherpa.

The Goodyear blimp keeps blocking your view.

You got there early, but by the time you reach your seat, the rest of the crowd is doing the seventh inning stretch.

You hear the crack of the bat just as you see the batter rounding second base.

You'd call your buddy behind home plate to see how he's doing but when you got to your section your phone went into Roaming.

Your view is so obstructed your tickets came with a pocket radio so you could listen to the game.

"Supplemental oxygen! Git yer ice cold, supplemental oxygen right here!"

[Chris White's Top Five on Sports with edits and additions by Mark Raymond]

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WEBSITE of the WEEK: As the parent of a teenage driver whose cell phone is never far from her hand, I'm loving http://www.zapmytext.com/. The cost is $4.99 per month ($49.99 if you pay annually, saving ten bucks), but if that child's phone is moving faster than 10 miles per hour, the application will block all texts, e-mails, and Internet browsing. You can add "safe" phone numbers for them to contact, and they can still call 911, and there are plans to add up to three phones if you have more than one child.

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