Friday, March 11, 2011

More Late Night Quips

Hey, for those of you who live in states that observe Daylight Savings Time ... that starts this weekend. "Spring Ahead" one hour before you go to bed Saturday.



"Scientists in China say they have found a dolphin they previously thought was extinct. They say the dolphin is rare, beautiful, and delicious with hot mustard sauce." (Conan O'Brien)

"A new study found that women's faces age and wrinkle just like their mothers. The study was conducted by the American Society of Wrong Things to Say to Your Wife." (Jimmy Fallon)

"It's graduation time in New York City and many of the students here are honor students. 'Yes, your honor; no, your honor; not guilty, your honor." (David Letterman)

"A new study shows that California has the dirtiest tap water in the country. California officials insist that the dirty water is fine as long as you chew it thoroughly." (Conan O'Brien)

"A flight attendant was fired from Virgin Airlines for placing a baby in the overhead compartment. To be fair, the baby did not fit under the seat." (Conan O'Brien)

"Facebook is looking into buying Twitter for around $10 billion. If all goes as planned, the company hopes to combine the two companies, creating the biggest waste of time the world has ever seen." (Jay Leno)

"Congress is proposing a bill that would give President Obama a kill switch that he could use to freeze all activity on the Internet if there were a national emergency. The kill switch goes by the top secret name 'Microsoft Windows'." (Conan O'Brien)

[selected from Joe's Clean Laffs and]


WEBSITE of the WEEK: Kellogg's Cereal wants to share breakfast with one million kids who aren't getting it right now and their goal is to do that by this fall, and we can help. How? Tell 'em what you had for breakfast at Or better yet, show 'em by uploading a pic. For every one of us who participates, another breakfast is shared.


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