Elephant Robbery

Now that I'm on the road so much with my current postal job - and much of the driving is in the early morning out in the country - I'm seeing a lot of deer. I nearly hit one earlier in the summer, but the little doe hit the skids before getting too far into the road and I swerved out of its path, so no harm was done to either of us. Another benefit of early morning driving is there's not much traffic.

I always thought that the deer population gets "twitterpated" in the Spring, but I guess Hollywood has once again steered us wrong. As we wave goodbye to September, we stand on the cusp of the annual deer mating and migration season. So pay more attention out there.

Especially if you live in West Virginia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Iowa, or Montana.

At least according to State Farm.

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Three men, who had fallen upon hard times, decided the only solution to their troubles was to rob a bank. But they wanted to do it in a way no one had done before. After much discussion, they decided they would use an elephant to rob the bank. So they went out and got an elephant.

At the heist, everyone is quite impressed with these men, who would have the moxie and the creativity to use an elephant in the commission of this crime. During the getaway, however, they had only gone two blocks when the police showed up and demanded they stop. Instead, they urged the elephant on faster.

The police, regrettably, did their duty all too well, and felled the elephant with a hail of bullets. The three thieves, remarkably unwounded, stood around the animal, in tears. "No!" one cried, "Why him?? It should have been me!"

The police were dumbfounded. As they clapped the men in handcuffs, one officer asked, "What's going on here? What's the big deal? There's eight different ways you guys could have run with the money after we shot this animal. What's so important about an ELEPHANT?"

One thief answered him, "You don't understand, officer. You couldn't possibly understand. No one could have *any* idea of the trouble we had getting the stocking over his head."

[Net 153's Smile A Day]

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WONDER for YOUR WEEK: If you cross a buck with some doe, will you get a lot of money or just something to fawn over?

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