Friday, July 11, 2008

Lightning

Hey, here's one reason to avoid facial jewelry, especially in the summer.

Jessica Lafreniere and her mother were outside filling up water balloons when a summer thunderstorm moved into their New Hampshire neighborhood. They took cover inside the house. When it looked like the storm was breaking, they ventured back outside to turn off the hose. Just as they opened the garage door, Jessica was struck by lightning that entered through her feet and then exited ... through her nose ring.

Yes, Jessica is fine.

Meteorologists say your chances of being struck by lightning over the course of your lifetime are one in 5,000.

Anybody out there been struck and have a tale to share? Click on "Comments" at the bottom of this post and start a comment thread.

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CLASSIC LIGHTNING STORIES

The tale is told about a small town that had been historically "dry" but then a local businessman decided to build a saloon.

Church elders in the city were very concerned and took to rallying the populace against the establishment. On the night before it opened, they held an all-night prayer vigil, asking God to intervene.

As dawn approached, a storm front moved in, lightning struck the bar, and in short order it had burned to the ground. The saloon owner sued every church in the city, claiming that the prayers of the congregations were responsible for his bar's destruction. The church elders were forced to hire their own lawyer to defend them and argue that they were certainly *not* responsible for the event.

The presiding judge, upon his initial review of the case, stated that "one thing is obvious. The saloon owner believes in the power of prayer while the Christians do not!"

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Despite the fact that she had henpecked her husband for decades, driven her kids to years of therapy, fought with the neighbors over the slightest provocation, and even made the family pets neurotic, a very fine funeral was held for her when she passed away.

As the casket was gently lowered into the gravesite and the pastor concluded his benediction, a violent storm suddenly broke out. Lightning flashed, striking a nearby tree, and a horrendous peal of thunder boomed.

As the rain began to fall, her husband could be heard to mumble, "Well, it sounds like she got to where she was going."

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Every day the young boy walked to his elementary school. One morning, the clouds were gathering and the forecast wasn't good, but as it wasn't raining yet, he still made his daily trek to the classroom.

On the way home, however, the winds whipped up, the thunder began to roll, and lightning began streaking and arcing across the sky. The boy's mother, worried that her son might be afraid, jumped into the family car and drove along the route to her son's school.

When she found her son, he was just fine, but every few feet he would stop, look up at the sky, and put on a great big smile.

Puzzled, his mother pulled up next to him, rolled down the window, and called out, "What are you doing?"

The boy answered, "I'm trying to look nice for God. He keeps taking my picture!"

[with thanks to Pastor Tim's Illustrations, JokeMaster, and the Good Clean Funnies List. Everything edited by yours truly.]

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Well, this was the weekend we were going to finish prepping the kitchen for our GKR of '08, but the company building our cabinets has delayed the shipping for a week, so I guess we'll be doing some yard work and maybe taking in a movie. May your weekend be as relaxed. I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Kim Komando turned me on to this site, which I like and my wife - the amateur photographer - just loves. Check out http://picreflect.com. Upload a picture and in 10 seconds you get a photo with a beautiful reflection, as if a crystal clear lake was suddenly added to the bottom of your photo. Then you can save the new creation and create your own incredible artwork suitable for framing.

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature." (Samuel Butler)

1 comment:

Lloyd said...

Actually, I've been struck by lighting twice.....at least they were near misses. I was raised on a large farm in South Western Ohio. One rainy day, it was decided the hammer mill must be moved. A hammer mill is a large angry machine that takes grain in one end and spits a powered meal out the other. Since, in operation, it makes a lot of dust it has to be vented like a furnace. Otherwise the air gets loaded with a very fine mist of grain dust that creates a very explosive situation. I was in the Upper part of the barn (the Loft) removing the metal vent pipe from the metal roof. Lighting struck the roof and I woke up far away from where I had been standing....didn't know how I got there and for months afterward I had trouble talking and thinking. (At least I blamed it on the lighting!)

The second time wasn't nearly as dramatic. I was building fence. I was attaching the metal fence to steel fence post with metal "twist tie" do-hickeys. I heard a snap and saw ball of light on the fence about a quarter mile away......immeadeatly, I was picking myself off the ground. I wasn't nearly as rattled by the experience that time....but I vowed to quite "singing in the rain!"