Heckles

Tonight Major League Baseball will play its "Midsummer Classic," also known as the All-Star Game.

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BASEBALL HECKLES AND HASSLES

For Umpires:
(Hold up cell phone) "Is this your phone? Because it's MISSED THREE CALLS!"
"Flip over the plate and read the directions!"
"You couldn't call a cab!"

For Pitchers:
"Yoko Ono's got better pitch control than you!"
"I've seen better windups on a toy!"
"I've seen better arms on a snake!"

For Batters:
"I've seen better cuts at a deli!"
"Betty Crocker has better batters!"
"You've got fewer hits than an Amish website!"

[courtesy of the Heckle Depot]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off." (Bill Veeck)

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