...and today. The very first day of a fresh, new year.
My prayer for you is that you make the choices today that will make you happier with yourself at the other end of 2008.
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SOME GROANERS TO GET THE NEW YEAR OFF RIGHT
So a guy goes to his doctor and complains about a pain in his leg. "Doc," he says, "I know this sounds crazy, but would you listen to my knee?"
So the doctor puts on his stethoscope and listens to the man's knee. To his surprise he hears, "Can you loan me ten bucks?" He moves the stethoscope down to the man's shin. He hears, "C'mon, fifteen bucks. How about it?" Finally, in alarm, he puts the stethoscope near the man's ankle and hears, "I need twenty bucks. Can you give me twenty bucks?"
The doctor takes off the stethoscope, sits up and tells the man, "Well, I think I see the problem. Your leg is broke in three places."
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What kind of snacks do small monkeys have with milk?
Chocolate chimp cookies.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and legs.
How does a lion like his steak?
Medium roar.
What's the tallest building in town?
The library. It has the most stories.
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It was little Michael's first visit to the country farm and feeding the chickens fascinated him.
Early one morning he caught his first look at a peacock, strutting in the yard.
Rushing indoors, he excitedly told his Grandma, "Gramma, you gotta come see this! One of the chickens is in bloom!"
[with thanks to Kim Komando, Ed's Raucous Laughter, and list member Carolyn W.]
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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "New Years Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving the road to hell with them as usual." (Mark Twain)
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