Monday Groaners

At first glance, you'll see a Norman church, two pubs, a shop, a school, a village hall, a huge manor with landscaped gardens, an entire village, in fact.

And then, upon closer inspection, you'll see it's all been knitted from wool.

All courtesy of the Mersham Afternoon Club, which began this project a whopping 23 years ago.

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YOUR MONDAY GROANERS

If someone is pregnant, do they have an ingrown heir?

My brother is very set in his ways, but always look great. He's clothes-minded.

I was going to give my wife one of those heart balloons for her birthday, but she said she didn't need angioplasty.

What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.

At the North Pole they say goodbye with a cold wave.

A shepherd drove his flock through town and got a ticket for making a ewe turn.

I need acupuncture like I need another hole in my head.

I called my plumber about a leak in my kitchen sink. He sighed and said he was always at my disposal.

A radical segment of the woodworker's union broke off and formed a splinter group.

I looked up "diet" in my thesaurus and found myself at words for a loss.

[mostly from Jokemaster with some rewording and editorial massage by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: Here's a word that's easy to remember, handy to slip in to any number of conversational situations, and will make you sound smarter: "eclectic." Combining the Greek "ek," which means "out" or "out of," and "legein," which was to gather or choose. You got "eklegion," which described what a group of ancient philosophers did when they selected doctrines from a multitude of belief systems. It arrived here in English as the word at the start of this paragraph and we use it in its broader sense, which is to describe something composed of elements drawn together from various sources. Yes, you could, in a very real sense, describe Mark's Musings as "an eclectic humor and trivia post."

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