Friday, May 08, 2009

Historical Moms

It's our annual "Big Weekend" here at the Raymond household. The yearly subdivision-wide yard sale is tomorrow, my son's birthday is tomorrow (we're seeing "Star Trek" on the IMAX screen together), my birthday is the following day, and mothers celebrate a day set aside just for them on Sunday, as well.

What a weekend!

If there was one thing I'd wish for you to give me on my birthday - and this will be the only time I mention this all year - it would be to wish for a donation to help offset the cost of publishing Mark's Musings each day. If every list member chipped in just one dollar, I could pay for all my costs until Christmas of 2010. $2 would keep me quiet about this until 2012.

But enough about me, let's spend today talking about motherhood.

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FAMOUS MOTHERS THROUGHOUT HISTORY

MONA LISA'S Mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you could give us?"

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' Mother: "I don't care how far you had to go to discover something, you couldn't have written?"

MICHELANGELO'S Mother: "Can't you just paint on the walls like other children? Do you know how hard it's going to be to get that off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S Mother: "All right, young man, I don't care how bad your grades are, take that report card from out of your jacket and let's have a look at it."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S Mother: "What's with the stovepipe hat? Did you lose your baseball cap again?"

MARY'S Mother: "I'm not really upset the lamb followed you to school. But how did it get better grades than you?"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S Mother: "But it's your senior picture! Can't you do SOMETHING about your hair?"

JONAH'S Mother: "That's a nice story, son. Now tell me where you've *really* been for the last few years."

PAUL REVERE'S Mother: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, or how many lanterns you have to hang ... your curfew is midnight!"

THOMAS EDISON'S Mother: "Of course I'm proud of you! Inventing the electric light bulb is huge! Now turn it off and get to sleep!"

CHARLES LINDBERGH'S Mother: "Really, Charlie? You don't have *any* friends who want to go with you? Not one?"

LEWIS and CLARK'S Mothers: "It's very nice, dear. Very detailed. But I said *take* a map, not *make* a map!"


[Crosswalk's You Make Me Laugh; edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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I know that not every woman on my list is a mother. I understand. And I know that there are some Moms out there who have lost a child and choose not to celebrate so much on Sunday. You have my sympathy and prayers. And for the guys who read this stuff ... hey, Father's Day is just around the corner.


Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Every day city, state, and federal government agencies across this great land excess equipment, vehicles, and furniture they no longer want. You can get some pretty sweet deals at http://www.govdeals.com/ ... but you have to be willing to pick it up from the agency selling it.

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Mark's Musings is sent each weekday using Ezine Director and I pay a little extra every day to make sure those folks are certified by Habeas to be a safe sender of e-mail. That means you can trust what I send. And I promise never to send spam or give your address to anyone who will, no matter how financially lucrative that may be. On that you have my word. Subscribe, view past issues in my Archives, and otherwise click your day away at my web site. (There are years of archival jokes and links, for instance, and at least three years of "Web Sites of the Week" to browse. More to come, one day.) To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. On Sunday I will be celebrating my 52nd trip around the sun. Just in case you wanted to know. You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. Does your mother know you forward this without the credits? Original material and musings © 2009 by Mark Raymond. I update this blog with a copy of my e-mail post daily and occasionally with "bonus material" whenever the mood or muse strikes. Look for the label that says "bonus" and you can bring it all up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. This post not valid with any other offer.

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "There is still no cure for the common birthday." (John Glenn, upon announcing his retirement at age 75)

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