Cocktail Napkin

This is bound to be good news for someone.

Research scientists at the University of Wisconsin discovered the reason for "the French paradox" ... you know, the one that says they have lower incidents of heart disease and cancer despite a high-fat diet. They cite a chemical called resveratrol, which grows naturally in grapes and thus, red wine.

Ah, but students at Rice University have taken that research and applied it to another adult beverage. They say they can create a beer that will fight cancer and heart disease.

Now, if only they could create one that fights stupidity after you drink it.

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SEEN ONCE UPON A TIME ON A COCKTAIL NAPKIN

The horse and mule live 30 years
And nothing know of wine or beers

The goat and sheep at 20 die
And never taste of Scotch or Rye

The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is mostly done

The dog at 15 cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin

The cat in milk and water soaks
And then in 12 short years it croaks

The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nog, then dies at 10

11 animals are strictly dry
They sinless live and swiftly die

But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive for three-score years and ten

And some of them, though very few
Stay pickled till they're 92

[Syman Says]

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WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought." (Samuel Johnson)

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