You are well due for your first installment of 2009.
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RANDOM ACTS of THINKING, 2009
Part the First
My wife is hoping someone steals my identity ... but only the annoying bits.
Yesterday I landed that big Johnson account. Too bad it was just on my Nintendo Wii.
I've stopped dusting. Eventually I'll be able to use my coffee table as a message board.
If the economy is getting slower, why is my money disappearing faster?
A dog in our neighborhood gave birth to puppies by the side of the road. The homeowner was cited for littering.
A lady standing outside the grocery story stopped me the other day and asked, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "Okay, but we're not going to get much done."
I watched a TV Show called "50 Things To Do Before You Die" but not one of them was "Shout for help."
My employers said they would match my 401K contributions. I didn't realize they would use *real* matches!
I'd like to be a firm believer in something but nothing on me is firm.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
I used to play sports. Then I realized you could buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything.
I like rice. Rice is the perfect food if you're in the mood for 2,000 of something.
[nicked, nabbed, nuanced, noted, netted, and nurtured from Randy Glasbergen, Reader's Digest, Hallmark's Maxine, Mikey's Funnies, Bob Thaves, Shoe, Demetri Martin, and the mind of Mark Raymond]
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If you live in a state that observes Daylight Saving Time, set those clocks, microwaves, alarms, VCRs, wristwatches, car radios, and stoves to "spring ahead" one hour at 2:00 a.m. Sunday morning.
I'll see you on Monday.
Mark
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WEB SITE of the WEEK: There are a few things I'm just no good at. Home repair, for one. Home repair and plumbing. Home repair, plumbing, and car repair. Home repair, plumbing, car repair, and carpentry. Home repair, plumbing, car repair, carpentry, and--okay, there are a *lot* of things I'm not good at doing. But some of them I just haven't taken the time to learn and have filed them away in my "someday when I'm retired" box. Like drawing. If you'd like to learn how to draw more elegantly, try http://www.drawspace.com. Registration is required, but it's all free and there are a TON of free tutorials and lessons on how to draw things.
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Mark's Musings is sent using Ezine Director and those folks are certified by Habeas to be a safe sender of e-mail. That means you can trust what I send. And I promise never to send spam or give your address to anyone who will. Subscribe, view past issues in my Archives, and otherwise click your day away at my web site. To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. Still changing my credits each week, after all these years (Paul Simon has nothing on me). Hey, you can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. The credits can be machine-washed, warm (tumble dry), but never take them off the post under penalty of being called names. Original material and commentary © 2009 by Mark Raymond. I update this blog with a copy of the e-mail post daily and occasionally toss in bonus material whenever the mood strikes. Look for the label that says "bonus" and you can bring all the bonus stuff up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. My daughter has no school today. Lucky stiff.
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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "By perseverance the snail reached the ark." (Charles H. Spurgeon)
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