Office Illnesses

W. Neil Berrett works - or worked - at a Naval Shipyard. When he needed to quit recently, he did it in style.

He put his resignation letter on a giant sheet cake so his coworkers could party at his expense. Maybe the next time the boss will be more specific when he says, "Give me something in writing."

And you thought I was kidding.

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COMMON FORMS OF OFFICE SICKNESS

The Macy's One Day Sale Flu.

The Day Game at the Ol' Ballpark Cold.

The Friday Afternoon Start the Weekend Early Suddenly Unbearable Stomach Pains.

The I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's Going to Take but I Want to Stay on the Payroll Until Then Mysterious Infection.

The I Just Broke Up with a Co-Worker Bleeding Ulcer.

The My Boyfriend's Got a Long Weekend So Suddenly I'm Too Contagious to Come Into the Office Disease.

The I Need A Haircut and My Stylist Doesn't Work Evenings Bout of Influenza.

The I Have Something I Need to Do Today But You Wouldn't Let Me Have It Off 24 Hour Bug.

The There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want A Day Off Sickness.

The First Week of Spring General Ailment.

The My Cat Has to Go to the Vet So I'll Tell You My Child is Sick Family Leave Day.

The I've Screwed Up Royally and I Won't Come In to Face the Music Terminal Illness.

The I Need a Mental Health Day and It's Sunny Outside Migraine.

[Kitty's Daily Mews via Wit and Wisdom; additional material written and gathered by Mark Raymond]

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I bet you have some office "illnesses" you could add. Let me know, maybe we'll get a sequel out of this one. Meanwhile, we're still moving stuff from one room to another here. Will probably be doing that for a long time.

And hey! It's the first day of Spring! Go outside!

I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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Mark's Musings continues to be available via e-mail each weekday and is sent using Ezine Director and those folks are certified by Habeas to be a safe sender of e-mail. That means you can trust what I send. And I promise never to send spam or give your address to anyone who will. Subscribe, view past issues in my Archives, and otherwise click your day away at my web site. To contact me and sooner or later get a reply, click here. To effectively replace a bad habit, you must replace it with a good one. Yes, you can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. Besides, they're fun to read so why remove 'em? Original material and commentary © 2009 by Mark Raymond. I update this blog with a copy of this post daily and occasionally toss in bonus material whenever the mood strikes. Look for the label that says "bonus" and you can bring all the bonus stuff up with one click. My personal mission statement remains John 3:30. I *really* need to clean my office this weekend.

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "The first day of Spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month." (Henry Van Dyke, thanks to Kim Quiggle's Cup O'Cheer for the reminder)