High Tech Watch

Happy birthday, Bonnie! You may send all your well wishes and e-cards to me, and I'll dutifully forward them.

Since she's celebrating forty-something spins around the sun, this is a good day to talk about time.

Specifically, 20 things you may not have known about it.

Like Daylight Savings Time began as a Benjamin Franklin joke, or that it actually works, or the more you fly, the faster you age, or how they determine how fast-paced a city is.

Time for your joke.

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AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

John is at Grand Central Station waiting for his 6:00 p.m. train, but he's forgotten his watch and he's not at all sure the large clock in the station is accurate. So he looks for someone with a watch and spies a fellow traveler carrying two suitcases and wearing a fancy watch. So John asks him for the time.

"Sure," the man replies. "Which state?"

John tells him, notes after the man's answer that he still has 20 minutes before his train leaves, and then comments, "That's a pretty nice watch."

"It sure is," the man responds. "It has all the time zones for each state in the U.S. and every country in the world!"

"Wow," says John.

"But that's nothing!" the man exclaims. "This watch is also GPS-enabled, can do faxes, e-mail, and even pick up satellite television signals and display them on a miniaturized LCD color-pixilated screen!"

"Boy, that's incredible," remarks John. "I wish I had a watch like that. You wouldn't consider selling it, would you?"

The man mulls over this offer for only a moment and then says, "Well, the novelty *has* kind of worn off for me, so tell you what, if you've got $500, I'll let you have it."

John can hardly whip his checkbook out fast enough. In a moment, he's handing the man the money.

"Congratulations," says the man, taking off the watch and handing it over to John. "Here is the fanciest, most technologically-advanced watch known to man."

Then he hands John the two suitcases he was carrying. "And here are the batteries...."

[Basic Jokes.com, again; retold by Mark Raymond]

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WISDOM for YOUR WEEK: "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:8)

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