Monday Groaners

So after finishing my tax returns this weekend, I spent some time updating my blog, as you can see. I've changed the layout, the color scheme, and I've gone back and added labels to all 130+ posts.

That means you can click on one of the labels over on the right side and see all the posts related to that subject. The "video clip" label means that post contains a video. (Well, duh.) The "your thoughts" label includes posts where I've specifically asked for your comments. And so on.

Anyway, check it out if you're in the mood and have the time.

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YOUR MONDAY GROANERS

Someone once gave a bald man a comb for a gift. His response? "I'll never part with it!"

There's only one type of nail a carpenter hates to hit. His fingernail.

Are royal chairs ever throne out?

Even though he was lazy, the bakery wouldn't fire him. They needed a loafer.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

My daughter got her ears pierced because all of her friends had pierced ears. It was a clear case of pierce pressure.

Emmanuel was very ill. He tried every bit of medical advice from every doctor he could visit and nothing made him feel better. Finally, in desperation, his wife told him to try their local beauty salon. That turned out to be just what he needed and he soon was feeling much better. The reason? Well, everyone knows that beauty salons are experts on Manny cures.

[selected from JokeMaster with mild edits and rewrites by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: I'll do some double-duty this week. You have "grisly" and you have "grizzly" and they mean two completely different things. "Grisly" comes from the Old English word "grislic" which is related to a word that means "to fear." Today's usage implies something fearful, disgusting or horrific, as in a "grisly murder." Now, while grizzly bears are, indeed, fearful, they get their name from the Middle English adjective "grisel," which means gray. The grizzled fur is streaked with pale or silver tips, creating a gray effect. So while a grizzly bear may do something grisly, the two words aren't really related.

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