Ensemble Rules

Way back in March of 2006, I wrote about the "feud" between The Beatles and Apple Computers (mainly over perceived copyright infringements). You can find that original post in my archives here.

Well, folks, the war is over. Or at least a big battle has been settled.

Sir Paul McCartney this past week finally authorized Apple Computers to carry the majority of The Beatles' catalog on iTunes, all for the tidy sum of $400 million, to be shared by himself, Ringo Starr, Michael Jackson (who owns a large chunk of the rights to Beatles music), the estates of the other two Beatles (John Lennon and George Harrison), as well as two record companies.

In the interest of full disclosure, the Apple Records latest lawsuit against Apple Computers is still in the British courts. This agreement will, obviously, not do anything to help their case.

+++

RULES FOR PLAYING MUSIC IN AN ENSEMBLE

1. Everyone should play the same piece.

2. Observe the repeat signs only if what you just played was interesting.

3. If you play a wrong note, glare at one of the other players.

4. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. Then if you play out of tune, you can at least do it with a clear conscience.

5. The right note, at the wrong time, is a wrong note. (And vice-versa.)

6. A wrong note, played timidly, is a wrong note.

7. A wrong note, played with authority, is simply your interpretation of the phrase.

8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow the ones who are lost.

9. Strive to always play the maximum notes per second. This will intimidate the weaker players and gain you the admiration of the ignorant.

10. Markings for slurs, dynamics, and accidentals should be completely ignored. They are only there to make the score look more complicated.

11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it is easy, speed up. Everything will even itself out in the end.

12. You have achieved a true interpretation when, in the end, you have not played one note of the original piece.

13. When everyone else stops playing, you should stop also. Do not play any notes you may have left over.

14. Blessed are those without perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.

[Andychap's The_Funnies with lots of edits and rewrites by Mark Raymond]

+++

WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Is there a meaning to music? My answer would be 'Yes.' Can you state in so many words what that meaning is? My answer to that would be, 'No.' " (Aaron Copland)

+++

Mark's Musings is available via email each weekday for free! Get your own subscription by clicking here.