Monday Groaners

Well, I am late late late getting today's post done, so I'm just going to supply your Monday groaners in the interest of posting before midnight.

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WACKY DEFINITIONS

Ransom - Went jogging for awhile.

Detergent - When a lady says, "No!"

Topic - First selection in the draft.

Romeo - The sound some Italian cats make.

Locomotive - A crazy reason to do something.

Laboratory - A chemistry professor's speech.

Remote- The second ditch around your house.

Profound - "We discovered an expert!"

Depend - The part of the pool with a diving board.

Propaganda - The right bird to mate with your geese.

Metaphor - Your blind date wasn't that good-looking.

[JokeMaster; some rewriting by Mark Raymond]

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WORD for YOUR WEEK: So we're watching a movie this past weekend and I mention that we are about to see the "obligatory movie montage." Every movie has one now. When you need to show time passing - whether it's a few hours, a day, a week, months, years ... you edit together a bunch of very short scenes illustrating this passage of time, add a song with appropriate lyrics, and you have a montage that can show up to several decades gone by in the space of a few minutes. Montage is from an old French word, "monter" meaning to go up, ascend, climb, or mount. You see, if you were to diagram a movie plot, most would look like a mountain range ... a little tension creates a small hill in Act One, and each succeeding Act makes a bigger hill until you reach the movie's climax at the apex of your chart, followed by the "denouement" (maybe I'll do that word next week) at the end of the movie where you come back down off the mountain and get your happy ending (well, usually). So a montage climbs that dramatic mountain quickly.

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