Friday, April 18, 2008

Car Acronyms

Just when I thought I'd have time to dig up something interesting for you today ... my car dies. So now that time has to be spent sitting at the mechanic's.

Sorry, everybody, sorry. (grumblegrumblegrumble ... stupidcaranyway ... grumble....)

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IF CAR NAMES WERE ACRONYMS

AUDI - Always Under Diagnostic Inspection

BMW - Bring My Wallet

BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Cash Killer

CAMARO - Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET - Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

CHRYSLER - Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair

DODGE - Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive

FERRARI - Ferociously Elegant Racer Rides All Roads Intelligently

FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily [My Dad taught me that one -- MR]

HONDA - Had One, Never Did Again

HUMMER - Huge Ugly Monster, Mostly Eats Resources

JEEP - Just Empty Every Pocket

NISSAN - Need I Say Something About Nothing?

OLDSMOBILE - Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC - Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car

SATURN - Same American Trash Under Revised Name

TOYOTA - This One You Often Tow Away

VW - Virtually Worthless

[selected from carbuyingtips.com, with family friendly edits and additional material by Mark Raymond]

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For the record, I drive a Ford. And up until yesterday, not counting one window smashed in a parking lot break-in and a collision at an intersection when another car ran a red light, it's been very reliable for nearly four years, now.

I'll see you on Monday.

Mark

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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Needing something quick today, I'll send you to http://www.time.com/time/quotes, one of the sites I stop at nearly every day. It's hosted by Time Magazine, and features "quotemakers" - a term I just made up on the spot - with quotes taken from news stories of the day by real people and adds an often interesting photograph. Sometimes it's of the person who said it, or the person it's about, or just a cool photo graphic related to the quote.

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Mark's Musings is also sent each weekday via email and is a Habeas-certified spam free mailer. Subscribe, view past issues in the Archives, or help defray publishing costs at Mark's web site. (Please, I need the money to get help so I stop talking about Mark in the third person.) To contact Mark, click here. To read something funny in this space, you'll have to use your imagination this week. You can forward or reprint "Mark's Musings" freely but please keep the credits attached. I just can't ask any more politely or succinctly than that. Original material and commentary © 2008 by Mark Raymond. This includes the stuff you're reading right now. My personal mission statement is John 3:30. Anybody know a good mechanic?

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WORDS for YOUR WEEKEND: "I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades." (Demetri Martin)

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